Marcus Williams (in Ring): Welcome everyone to the grand re-opening of UNIVERSAL EXTREME WRESTLING! I am Marcus Williams, owner, and president of the UEW, and also the host of WEDNESDAY NIGHT CHAOS! And now, I'd like to bring out the commisoner of the UEW, BLOODBATH!

*Blood by KMFDM plays as Bloodbath comes out wearing his regular RED facepaint, and a black suit with a red tie. He's carrying the UEW Universal Heavyweight Championship Belt with him to the ring*

Bloodbath: Hello fans, and once again Welcome to the first card for the UEW since early 1998. And now as commisioner I will make the official Announcment concerning the UEW Universal Heavyweight Title! First, I'd like all 12 wrestlers that are wrestling tonight to come out to the ramp, as I'd like to address you.

*All 12 wrestlers that will be in action tonight come out, some not in their wrestling clothes yet, and stand at the top of the ramp.*

Bloodbath: Now, It was announced on the Web Page that there would be a Tournament to decide who will be the first Universal Champion. Well, I thought I might mention to all of you tonight that your performance tonight, and the next few wednesdays leading up to the event may decide your placement, if any, in the tournament. You got about 3 or 4 weeks before GOLDRUSH, and every match counts. I suggest you keep that in mind when wrestling tonight.

Marcus Williams: What Bloodbath is saying that a loss tonight doesn't nessesarily mean you won't be in the tournament, but it sure won't help your chances of becoming the Universal Heavyweight Champion.

*Bloodbath holds the ropes open for Marcus, and Marcus walks out of the ring and over to the announce position, and Bloodbath joins him there*

Marcus Williams: Well hopefully that has lit a fire in some of these wrestlers.

Bloodbath: Well if that doesn't nothing will, I mean these guys are all here for this title, they aren't here to lose, at least I would hope not.

Marcus: We're gonna take a break right now, when we come back, we're gonna have a Jr. Heavyweight Match, "The Enigma" Joe Hutchings will take on the ex-con Stalemate!

--------Advertisements--------
*NEW Goldrush '97 Home Video, the show that started it all.
*UEW T-Shirt: Logo on front, "Tradition can kiss my ass" on Back
--------Advertisements--------

Rick Cobbs: This match is scheduled for one fall, with a 20 minute time limit. First, coming to the ring, weighing 198lbs... "The Enigma" JOE HUTCHINGS!

*Money Aint a Thang by Jay Z plays as Joe Hutchings walks through the curtain, raising his hands in the air, then jogs down the ramp slapping fans hands. He gets to the ring, jumps up on the apron with no hands, then climbs to the top turnbuckle and does a backflip off the top rope landing in the middle of the ring*

And his opponent, from Hells Kitchen, weighing 200lbs... STALEMATE!

*Walk by Pantera plays as Stalemate walks through the curtain, his eyes fixed on the ring. He gets to the bottom of the ramp, and pulls out a box cutter from his pocket, and proceeds to cut himself on his forehead. He drops the box cutter on the ground and climbs into the ring.*

Bloodbath: We certainly got a different set of personalities in that ring right now!

Marcus: you could say that. The bell has rung and the match is on! they lock up in the middle of the ring. The Engima backs Stalemate into a corner, and drives a knee into his stomach. Now he irish whips him to the opposite corner, and follows him in... and Monkey Flips him out of the corner. Stalemate pops right back up, and tries a clothesline. The Enigma ducks, and turns around to meet Stalemate with a clothesline of his own! The Enigma grabs him by the hair and brings Stalemate to his feet. He backs him into a corner once again, and gives him a knife edge chop! and another! and another! now he irish whips him to the opposite corner again, and follows him in... Stalemate puts both feet up, but The Enigma slides under them and out to the floor! Stalemate puts his feet back down, and The Enigma trips him from the outside! Stalemate pounds his fists on the mat in frustration!

Bloodbath: This Enigma guy is certainly quick, and Stalemate just can't seem to touch him!

Marcus: The Enigma now climbing up on the apron. Stalemate staring right at him, and now runs at him, and tries a dropkick... The Enigma pulls the rope down, and Stalemate flys all the way out to the floor! The Enigma turns his head to see the positioning of Stalemate. Stalemate gets to his feet, and The Enigma tries an Asai Moonsault... Stalemate moves out of the way, and the Enigma lands stomach first on the steel guard rail!

Bloodbath: Oh man, that can't be good for the Enigma's insides! and look, he's still just hanging there on the guard rail!

Marcus: Yes, he is. Stalemate walks over to the Enigma, and picks him up off the guard rail and spins around... and Powerbombs him on the floor! Oh my! The Enigma grabs the back of his head, it must've bounced off that floor pretty hard, And those pads aren't that thick! He's just laying there now. Stalemate now climbing to the top rope, I don't know what he's going to attempt here... SHOOTING STAR PRESS FROM THE TOP TO THE FLOOR! Wow! Stalemate slowly getting up, that must've taken a lot out of himself too. He's going to the other side of the ring, what's he doing?

Bloodbath: Oh I think I know, he's going back for those box cutters of his! Yes, he's got them again, and look at this! he's cutting himself on the arm now! This guy is messed up! Where the hell did you find this one?

Marcus: I thought you recruited him... at any rate, he's dropped the box cutters again and now he's going back for The Engima who is now slowly trying to get to his feet. Stalemate kicks him in the gut, and throws him back into the ring. Stalemate climbs back in and starts stomping the stomach of The Enigma.

Bloodbath: That's a pretty good idea, his stomach is sore from that missed Asai Moonsault, and now Stalemate is capitalizing on it.

Marcus: Stalemate now picks The Enigma back up and scoop slams him right back down. He goes back outside the ring, and grabs a chair. He climbs up on the apron, then onto the top rope, what is he going to do here... He's on the top turnbuckle here with his back to The Enigma, and he's putting the chair right onto his chest, and now he's pulling something else out of his pocket... it's boxers tape! what the hell is he doing? He's taping the chair to his chest! He jumps... MOONSAULT ONTO THE ENIGMA WITH THE CHAIR!

Bloodbath: Wow! I don't think I've ever seen that in my life!

Marcus: Stalemate now goes for the cover.

REF: 1......2...

Bloodbath: The Enigma somehow kicks out of that one.

Marcus: Stalemate still has that chair taped to him, now he's ripping it off, and throwing it out of the ring. He picks the Enigma up, and now picks him up... Tourture Rack! He's got a Tourture Rack on! the Ref is checking The Enigma, but the Enigma is saying No, he's not submitting. Now Stalemate stops jumping up and down, what's he doing... he spins the Tourture Rack into a Neck Breaker! Wow! And now he goes for another cover!

REF: 1......2..

Bloodbath: The Enigma kicks out again! Stalemate can't seem to put him away quite yet!

Marcus: Stalemate picks the Enigma back up and throws him to the ropes, and goes for a Back Body Drop... No! The Enigma counters it with a Double Underhook Piledriver! and a cover by the Enigma!

REF: 1......2....

Marcus: No! Stalemate kicks out! The Enigma now picks him up and kicks him in the gut, and... POWERBOMB! Stalemate now goes to the top rope, and... FROG SPLASH! He covers him and hooks the leg.

REF: 1......2...

Bloodbath: Stalemate kicks up again! These guys are both looking exausted! Stalemate dripping blood all over the place from those two blades, I don't know why he did that, and The Enigma is still nursing his midsection from earlier in the match. The Enigma first to his feet, and Stalemate up as well. They both now start just thowing wild punches, and they're both connecting! Both mens legs look like rubber!

Marcus: They're just throwing haymakers, The Enigma opens up that cut some more on Stalemate, and now The Enigma throws another punch, Stalemate ducks it, and The Enigma's momentum spins him around. Stalemate grabs him in a waist lock, and... GERMAN SUPLEX!

REF: 1......2.....

Bloodbath: NO! How did he kick out of that? Stalemate isn't too happy with that, he thought he had him easily. Stalemate now picks The Enigma up, and goes for a vertical suplex... The Enigma is blocking it, and now he kicks him in the stomach, and picks him up... MICHINOKU DRIVER! and immediatly he goes for the DRAGON SLEEPER!

Marcus: He calls that "Dazed and Confused"! He's got it locked on there good... the ref is checking Stalemate, Stalemate is waving his arms around, trying to break it, and now he's tapping! it's over!

DING DING DING

Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner... "The Enigma" JOE HUTCHINGS!

Bloodbath: What a match to start things off! Next up Elite Eric Ego will take on The Insane Clown!

--------Advertisements--------
*NEW World Title Tournament '98 Home Video
*UEW Action Figures: Bloodbath vs AC "Feud from the Past" 2 Pack
--------Advertisements--------

Rick Cobbs: This match is scheduled for one fall, with a 20 minute time limit. First, coming to the ring, with his manager HOOKER B... from Da Carnival, weighing 335lbs... INSANE CLOWN!

*Down with the Clown plays as Hooker B leads Insane Clown to the ring. The fans boo as he threatens to take a swing at a few people in the front row. He climbs into the ring and Hooker B stays on the outside.*

And his opponent, with his valet MOONLIGHT.. from Los Angeles, California, weighing 279lbs... ELITE ERIC EGO!

*We are the Champions plays as two servants roll out a red carpet as Moonlight accompanies Elite Eric Ego to the ring, He's wearing a gold robe and gold trunks, both with his name in silver on them. Elite Eric Ego struts to the ring, occasionally looking out at the crowd with a look of disgust on his face. Both the servants kneel and Eric Ego climbs up on their backs using them as steps to get into the ring. They then hurry into the ring with him. Moonlight helps Elite Eric Ego take his robe off, while the two servants towel him off and shine his wrestling boots up. Moonlight then goes outside the ring and the two servants roll the red carpet back up and leave the ring area.*

Bloodbath: Well here's one for ya, a sadistic clown vs a spoiled brat!

Marcus: oddly enough though, they've chosen two very similar finishers, both Eric Ego's Peasant Plunge and Insane Clown's Insanity Driver are Piledrivers from the top turnbuckle.

Bloodbath: And the crowd doesn't seem to like either of these guys, I'm sure they don't care who wins the match as long as they both hurt each other. It looks like they're locking up now.

Marcus: Yes, they lock up, and Insane Clown just throws Eric back into his own corner! Insane Clown with an a 5 inch height advantage and a 50 plus pound weight advantage. Moonlight wiping the sweat from Eric's brow, and I guess Eric is going to try and lock up again. He locks up, and Insane Clown just grabs Eric by the throat and lifts him way up in the air! the ref is telling Insane Clown to let go, and he does just that, throwing him at his own corner again! Eric Ego just looks disgusted at this guy. He now lifts himself back up, and runs in and trys a shoulderblock, that doesn't even budge Insane Clown! he runs to the ropes, and tries it again, and it still doesn't move him! He runs to the ropes again... Insane Clown sidesteps and hits Eric Ego with a clothesline, knocking him down! Insane Clown jumps and tries an elbow drop, and Eric rolls out of the way! Eric Ego now picks up Insane Clown and throws him to the ropes, Insane Clown reverses it and throws him to the ropes, no wait he holds on to Eric Ego's arm... Short Clothesline! and he still doesn't let Eric's arm go, he picks him up again, and Short Clotheslines him down a second time! now he lets go, and jumps... and Splashs Eric Ego!

Bloodbath: The Insane Clown might be just too big for Eric Ego here! Insane Clown picks Eric Ego up, and whips him to the turnbuckle! Eric Ego hits hard chest first, and staggers backwards... Insane Clown grabs him from behind, and... Back Suplexes him! Eric Ego hits hard! Insane Clown gets to his feet and now starts laughing insanily!

Marcus: This guy certainly doesn't have it all together. Eric Ego now getting to his feet, Insane Clown turns around and kicks Eric Ego in the stomach, and... DDT's him! and a cover!

REF: 1......2...

Bloodbath: Eric Ego able to kick out in time. Insane Clown now picks him up, and placing him backwards on the top rope! He could be going for that Insanity Driver already!

Marcus: I think he is! Insane Clown going to the top rope, and now he's setting up for it, this could be the end already... He can't seem to lift him up for it, Eric Ego is struggling... and he back body drops him off the top rope! Eric Ego falls back onto the top rope and crotches himself though!

Bloodbath: Ouch! that's gonna spoil his plans for the evening!

Marcus: Eric Ego falls backwards off the top rope and now both these men are hurting, but Insane Clown is starting to move first. Hooker B is banging furiously on the apron. Eric Ego now picking himself up off the apron as well. Insane Clown is first up, and he goes to double axehandle Eric Ego, but Eric with a shoulder block into Insane Clown's stomach. Now he boots him once, and it has no effect on the Insane Clown. he boots him again, and still no effect! Eric now grabs Insane Clowns arm, and irish whips him to the ropes... Insane Clown comes back, and Eric tries a hip toss, but Insane Clown ain't moving... Eric Ego spins around and lands a knee to the gut, and tries the hip toss again, and he does it! The Clown goes down! and Eric Ego now going for a Boston Crab!

Bloodbath: I don't know, Insane Clown's legs might be too powerful for Eric Ego to get him in this. Eric Ego has the legs and he's trying to turn him, he's almost got him... he's got him! He's got him in the Boston Crab, and Eric Ego is facing the ropes, They're all the way on the other side of the ring. The ref is checking to see if Insane Clown wants to give it up, but he's saying no! he doesn't want to give it up! Eric Ego has a smug look on his face, he figures he's got this one in hand! Moonlight is now up on the apron wiping the sweat off Eric Ego while this Boston Crab is locked in!

Marcus: Insane Clown is still shaking his head no, he doesn't want to sumbit... wait a minute, he's trying to power out of it.... and he does! He kicks out of it, and Eric Ego gets thrown right into Moonlight! Moonlight falls off the apron, and Eric Ego staggers back, Insane Clown turns him around, kicks him in the stomach, and... POWERBOMB! and he keeps holding on for the pin!

REF: 1......2.....

Bloodbath: Eric Ego kicks out somehow, and now Insane Clown is picking Eric Ego up, and he throws him up on the top turnbuckle. It looks like we're going to see a SuperPlex here! Insane Clown now climbing the turnbuckle to meet him... Eric Ego brings up his knee, and hits Insane Clown in the groin! Now he drags him up there, and sets him up... PEASANT PLUNGE! and a cover!

REF: 1......2......3

DING DING DING

Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner... ELITE ERIC EGO!

Marcus: A hard fought match by both men, but Elite Eric Ego comes away with the win! coming up next, Ring King will take on Bill Neno!

--------Advertisements--------
*UEW Logo Baseball Cap
*UEW Action Figures: Featured: Oatmeal, Ring King, Basher, and Stalemate
--------Advertisements--------

Rick Cobbs: This match is scheduled for one fall, with a 20 minute time limit. Coming to the ring, from St. Louis, weighing 320 lbs... RING KING!

*FireStarter by Prodigy plays as Ring King walks half-struting to the ring. He has a fairly smug look on his face, as he looks at his chest and admires his own scars.*

And his opponent... From Pittsburg, PA, weighing 259 lbs... BILL NENO!

*Come with me by Puff Daddy plays as Bill Neno slowly walks to the ring, staring right at Ring King. He doesn't show any emotion at all.*

Marcus: Well the bell sounds and here we go! Ring King standing in his Corner, and Bill Neno staring at him. Bill Neno walks into the middle of the ring, and motions for a test of strength.

Bloodbath: This can't be smart, Ring King is much heavier. But then again they're pretty even in height, only an inch or so between the two. Ring King comes towards Bill Neno and raises his hand to go for the test of strength, and Ring King now lays a knee into Bill Neno's stomach. Ring King with a forearm to the back of Bill Neno, and another one, now he throws him to the ropes. Bill Neno off the ropes, and comes back, and Ring King with a big lariat to send Bill Neno down!

Marcus: Ring King now picks Bill Neno up, and now he's lifting Neno over his head, and walking towards the ropes... Oh no, I think I know what he's going to do here, I know the fans know, and they're moving out of their seats! Bill Neno is trying to get out of the grip of Ring King, but to no avail... Ring King throws Bill Neno over the top rope, and over the guard rail into the second row! What power!

Bloodbath: Bill Neno probably hurt from that, but still getting up right away... getting up slowly, but nonetheless getting up. He climbs back over the guard rail, and Ring King runs to the opposite side of the ring... he's coming back, and jumps over the top rope...

Marcus: PLANCHA SUICIDA ON BILL NENO! This guy is 320lbs and he did a plancha suicida! That is pretty amazing! Ring King right back up on his feet, and now picking Bill Neno up... Bill Neno punches Ring King in the mid section, and throws him back in the ring. Ring King springs back to his feet, and Bill Neno grabs the top rope, and... Springboard DropKick! Ring King hits the mat, and tumbles backwards! Bill Neno springs right to his feet and now goes over to Ring King and drops an elbow to the back of the head. Neno now picking Ring King up by the hair and snap mares him right back down, and now goes for a chinlock.

Bloodbath: Ring King trying to just power out of this right away, he stands himself up, and... Jawbreaker out of it! Ring King now sliding out of the ring and he's going to get a chair! Ring King comes back into the ring, and now he sets the chair up. Bill Neno getting to his feet, Ring King turns around, and Bill Neno hits a dropkick on Ring King! Ring King staggers back, and falls sitting on the chair! Bill Neno runs to the ropes, and hits another Dropkick and Ring King falls backwards out of the chair!

Marcus: Bill Neno now picks Ring King up, and brings him over towards the chair, it looks like we're gonna see a Piledriver... no! Ring King goes for a back body drop, but stops, and grabs Bill Neno's Ankles... and just throws him down hard on the chair like a rag doll! Ring King now dragging Bill Neno over to the corner, and Ring King is going to the top rope... 450 SPLASH! RING KING IS 320 LBS! and he did a 450 Splash! He goes for the cover!

REF: 1......2...

Bloodbath: Bill Neno kicks out... wait a minute, someone is coming to the ring, who is that?

Marcus: It's the Hardboys! The English Football Hooligans are coming to the ring, and it looks like they've been drinking! They're shoving and spitting on fans.

Bloodbath: Ring King seems to be distracted by this, he's watching them walk to the ring. Ring King and Justin Sane are supposed to face these guys and two other tag teams at GOLDRUSH!

Marcus: That's right, and look, Justin Sane just walked out and he's standing on the ramp!

Bloodbath: This is getting pretty interesting now! Bill Neno now sneaking up on Ring King, and he rolls him up!

REF: 1......2....

Marcus: NO! Ring King kicks out of that, and Ring King now right back to his feet and he kicks Bill Neno in the stomach, and... DDT! The Hardboys are now at the ring, and now Justin Sane is running down! The Hardboys see him, and GladStone Blower grabs his beer bottle by the neck, and smashes it over the guard rail! Hardboy Bollockhead runs at Justin Sane and tackles him, and Now Gladstone is going to try and stab him! The Ref now getting out of the ring, he's trying to break this up, meanwhile Ring King and Bill Neno still wrestling on the inside! Hardboy BollockHead grabs the ref and throws him into the crowd! Justin Sane kicks the broken bottle out of Gladstone's hand, but BollockHead grabs Justin Sane from behind and Back Body drops him on the mats on the outside!

Bloodbath: Well this doesn't look good for Ring King now, The Hardboys are now making their way into the ring. Bill Neno runs to the ropes and tries a shoulderblock, Ring King staggers backwards, and the Hardboys catch him... Ring King turns around, and Gladstone Blower kicks Ring King right in the groin! Now Hardboy BollockHead grabs Ring King, and... BLACK TIGER BOMB! And the Hardboys are now leaving! Bill Neno watches them leave, and goes for a cover, but the ref isn't there! He's just now getting up from out of the crowd!

Marcus: The Ref is now climbing over the guardrail, and he sees the Hardboys leaving. He slowly gets back into the ring. Bill Neno now picking up Ring King, Ring King lays a forearm into the chest of Bill Neno, and again, and now he throws him to the ropes, Bill Neno comes back, and... RK DRIVER! And a cover!

REF: 1......2......3

DING DING DING

Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner... RING KING!

Marcus: Ring King and Justin Sane now celebrating in the ring, a great comeback for Ring King after that beating!

Bloodbath: After these advertisments, Black Thunder will wrestle Justin Time.

--------Advertisements--------
*UEW Super Saturday Night this weekend
*NEW Extreme Pain '97 Home Video
--------Advertisements--------

*"Higher Ground" plays over the Speaker System*

Marcus: Well I guess we have company before we get to this next match up.

*A well dressed man wearing a tux walks out, He is the Superstar Chip Collins current reinging WWPW World Heavyweight Champion, stumbling down the aisle behind his is a small Luchadore Dressed as a Cow, he seems to be intoxicated. The Fans go nuts as they remember this once great tag team was undefeated World Champs in the WWA*

Chip Collins: You know MooCow, its great to be here listen to the fans ovation....

MooCow (with a drink in his hand): MOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Fans Moo with him*

Chip Collins: For those of you that didnt know, We are the New Footloose Superstars! WHOOOOOOOOO! I'm The Superstar Chip Collins, Hes Super Lucah MooCow and We've wrestled all over the world, without a single defeat.

*MooCow finishes his drink and walks down to the entrance way*

Chip Collins: Dude where the Hell are you going?

MooCow: To get me a drink, and us some chicks.......MOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chip Collins: Ok...

Chip Collins: Now the reason we are here, is one thing only I dont want any Singles Belts I want the return of the greatest Tag Team in wrestling today, The NFS and we will take the tag team belts here and we will go undeafeated because when you get in the ring with The Superstar and The Moo-ster your going to get beat one way or the other and then The NFS will go out and party alll night long.

*MooCow returns with the Girls*

Chip Collins: Well I'd love to stay and Chat longer but there are things in the back that need some special attention, Thank you and good night.

*They exit with the 2 girls in there arms*

Bloodbath: Well, a visit from SuperStar Chip Collins, and Super Lucha MooCow! They'll be competing at Goldrush for the Tag Belts in that big 4 way Tornado rules tag match!

Marcus: Alright, lets go back up to Rick Cobbs for this next match