Narrator: Tonight, 8 men will enter a ring, friends vs friends, enemies wrestling side by side. It's not about teamwork though, it's about personal glory, where the winner could very well gain a title shot.
*rapid shots of all 8 men competing tonight in the Deadpool match flash across the screen*
Narrator: And tonight, former friends will battle for the main prize in a 60 minute iron man match where falls don't matter, only finishing manuvers.
*a shot of AC and Kon starring each other down is shown*
Narrator: Oh yes, tonight will be... A LIVING HELL!
*the shot of AC and Kon dissolves into the UEW logo, which explodes into the Living Hell '99 Logo*
*the Living Hell '99 Logo dissolves into a shot of the now full UEW Arena, 7000 fans screaming, as you can see a giant cage over the ring, as well as the scaffold above the ring. the next shot is of the announce table, at it's new location for tonight, up at the top of the ramp, about 5 feet from the entranceway, where Marcus Williams and another man other than Bloodbath are sitting.*
Marcus: WELCOME TO LIVING HELL '99! I'm Marcus Williams, I'm sure you knew that already, but if you don't watch HCW TV, you've probably never seen our special guest commentator tonight, BOWAR!
Bowar: Yeah I'd say it's great to be here, but I couldn't give a rats ass either way. That pussy Bloodbath called in sick today, he's probably got vaginal herpies or something, so here I am filling in, not because I like the UEW, not because I need the money, but because you're paying me enough to make it worth my while, and you can never have too much cash.
Marcus: Alright, and with those, uh, kind words, lets take you up to Rick Cobbs to get this shindig going!
*Rick Cobbs hops into the ring in a fatty bo batty double breasted tuxedo.*
Rick Cobbs: This match is an "I QUIT" match the only way to win is to force your opponent to quit the match. Introducing first standing 6'3" and weighing in at 250 pounds....This is Jaguar!!!!!!
*Jaguar rips through the curtain and the fans give him a decent pop. He runs to the ring looking cut and juiced up for this the crowd is going wild! They are jacked up to get this ppv going and Jaguar is looking ready to rip someone's heart out in the ring!*
Rick Cobbs: And his opponent....standing 6'3" and weighing in at 256 pounds....here comes Subzero!!!!!
*The fans give a nice pop as Subzero comes through the curtains! Like Jaguar he makes short work of getting to the ring...but right as he hits the mouth of the entrance...Jaguar springs over the top rope and smashes down on top of his opponent.*
Marcus: The fans love it!!!! This is an "I Quit" match and the end can happen anywhere!!! Even right out there on the floor! Come on this elevated seat is pretty neat huh?
Bowar: Yeah uh huh....Anywho on the floor Jaguar and Subzero are beating the hell out of one another with huge lefts and rights! Jaguar up to his feet....Subzero follows but Jag nails him with a nice looking drop kick! Subzero drops back to the mat....and Jaguar leaps up onto the apron!
Marcus: Jag gets a run and leaps off....Subzero rising catches him around the waist....and tosses Jaguar into the rail! Zero right after him grabs jag's leg and hooks up a knee lock submission....there is no way for Jaguar to get the ref to break the hold on this one! No ropes no nothing!
Bowar: No way but to use his other foot to kick Subzero in the head and effectively kick him off. Jaguar leans over and grabs the head of Subzero raking his eyes!!! Subzero is trying to kick out of this....Jaguar lets go and pulls up Subzero...planting him face first into the steps.
Marcus: Jaguar is on a tear here....Subzero trying to get up and Jaguar grabs those steps...and slams them down onto the back of Subzero!!!! Subzero flattens out on the mat, and Jaguar drops into an STF! That has to hurt....The ref is cheking with Subzero...He is shaking his head....He is not going to give up to this...
Bowar: What kind of match is this? Subzero against a guy called Jaguar? Please...Jesus the next thing you know Tim Weich is going to fight Rick Cobbs with Taylor as the special guest referee. Jesus!
Marcus: Subzero is still getting yanked into that STF.....wait....he has the steps with his free hand....and SLAMS the steel steps right into his face!!!! Jaguar falls back holding his face...and that is Zeros cue to go to work! He leaps up and whips Jaguar into the apron then slams in with an elbow right to the throat!
Bowar: Zero now planting his foot agains the throat of Jaguar....I don't think he could say "I quit" even if he wanted to. Subzero grabs him by the hair....and yanks him into a front face lock....and super fast ddt right on the floor!!!! DAMNIT!!!! Subzero pulls up Jaguar and now tosses him into the ring....Zero climbs in after him.
Marcus: Subzero kicks Jaguar over....he's going for the ankle....Jaguar rolls over quick and kicks Zero in the face knocking him back into the ropes! Zero flying back....Jaguar catches him coming with a head grab into a knee to the face!!!! he stumbles back from that one!!!! Jaguar with a double leg take down....he's going for the figure four leg lock....Zero kicks his leg loose....then plants it right in the middle of Jaguars face!!!!
Bowar: Subzero right back up to his feet....Jaguar is too....the two men lock up...Jag looks to shoot a leg...Subzero flops into a sprawl. Jaguar unable to fight back...Subzero hops over and grabs the ankle of Jaguar...Jaguar grabs the ropes....and that is going to break it....
Marcus: Subzero takes a step back while Jaguar pulls himself up. Both men cicling in the middle now....Jaguar makes a move...Subzero sends him by and into the ropes....Jaguar comes back....Subzero spins into a super kick smashing the teeth out of the face of Jaguar!!!!
Bowar: Subzero right down into a boston crab!!!! Right in the middle of the ring no where to go!!!! Jaguar is screwed!!!!
Marcus: But look....Jaguar is reaching back to reverse it....Subzero needs to tighten the hold or he is in big ass trouble!!!!!
Bowar: Subzero tries to lock it on tighter, but... Jaguar powers out of it! Subzero gets up, so does Jaguar, Subzero runs at him, Jaguar catches him in an inverted Atomic Drop! Subzero goes down, and... Jaguar locks in a Scorpion Deathlock!
Marcus: He's really got that locked in! Subzero fighting the pain, he's trying to reach for the ropes, but he's right in the middle of the ring. Jaguar sits back more on it, and... Subzero taps!
DING DING DING
Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner... JAGUAR!
Bowar: Interesting opening contest, and this Jaguar guy comes away with the win. Jaguar leaves the ring, and Subzero is looking pretty damn pissed off at himself.
Marcus: well it was his first match here, and I'll bet he'll see brighter days in the UEW.
Bowar: I guess, I couldn't care either way...
Marcus: Alright, this next match is something we don't do too often, and thats...
Bowar: have Phobos defend that title of his?
Marcus: I guess you don't watch UEW, he just defended it a couple weeks ago!
Bowar: Of course I don't watch UEW, watching HCW is the same, except better quality.
Marcus: Anyway... I was gonna say that we don't do this often, and that's have the UEW National Strap defended as the second match of the night. We're doing this for Phobos' sake, because he's also competing in the deadpool match. So, without further ado, lets get this one on!
Rick Cobbs: This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the UEW NATIONAL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! Coming to the ring first, the challenger, with his bodyguard The Protector... from Brooklyn New York, weighing 275lbs... KILLER KID!
*Dope Show plays as The Protector and Killer Kid walk out both wearing leather pants, and new UEW t-shirts that say "Death Squad" on them. Killer Kid brushes his long black hair out of his eyes as he walks down the ramp. He gets to the ring and climbs in, as the Protector stays on the outside. The fans boo and throw paper and other various garbage at them.*
Rick Cobbs: And his opponent, with his manager, Eddie Lukin... from Whereever the hell he wants, weighing 255lbs... the UEW NATIONAL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... PHOBOS!
*Its On by Korn plays as Eddie Lukin walks out first, wearing a golf shirt and slacks, and carrying a golf club. He then points to the curtain, and out comes Phobos, wearing black and grey full length tights, and the UEW National Title around his waist. the crowd cheers, as Killer Kid points at Phobos from the ring and points at the belt then motions for the title around his waist. Phobos walks slowly to the ring, staring at Killer Kid the entire time. He drops the belt at the bottom of the ramp, and dives in, and Killer Kid attacks him immediatly.*
Marcus: and here we go! the bell sounds, as Killer Kid is stomping Phobos before he even got all the way into the ring! Killer Kid stomps away, now he pulls Phobos to his feet, and throws him to the ropes... Phobos comes back, and Killer Kid goes for a clothesline... Phobos ducks! Phobos hits the ropes on the other side and comes back, and nails him with a flying clothesline! Killer Kid goes down, and rolls outside!
Bowar: A quick start to this one, Killer Kid attempting to get a jump on it, but Phobos too smart for all that.
Marcus: Well Killer Kid is on the outside now, he and Protector are talking, but I don't know how they can hear each other over all this cheering, it is loud! these fans seem to love Phobos! Killer Kid now rolls back in, and gets up to his feet quickly so that Phobos can't try what Killer Kid did to him. both men now circle each other, and lock up... Killer Kid with a knee to the stomach, and... bodyslams him to the mat!
Bowar: Killer Kid with a bit of a size advantage, and a bit of a strength advantage I think too. this is going to be a tough test for Phobos. Killer Kid now pulls Phobos right to his feet, and whips him to the turnbuckle! Phobos hits the buckle back first, and staggers forward... and Killer Kid comes in and nails him with a hard lariat!
Marcus: I think you're right Bowar, Killer Kid is a little bit more powerful, but Phobos is extremely resourcful and a fairly technical wrestler too. Killer Kid now pulls Phobos to his feet, and... Phobos nails him with a low blow!
Bowar: So much for technical! Phobos hit him right in the nuts! Killer Kid goes down, and Eddie Lukin there on the outside is applauding Phobos!
Marcus: Phobos seems pretty happy about it too. Phobos now pulls Killer Kid to his feet, and drags him over to the turnbuckles, and starts smashing his face into the top turnbuckle repeatedly! the crowd counts with him! 6,7,8,9,10... Phobos lets go, and Killer Kid staggers backwards a bit... and Phobos kicks him in the back of the knee to take him down!
Bowar: Phobos now pulls Killer Kid to his feet, and throws him to the ropes... Killer Kid reverses, sending Phobos to the ropes... Protector from the outside trips Phobos! Phobos hits face first on the mat, and the ref goes over there and starts yelling at Protector.
Marcus: there's only one way to get a DQ in the UEW, and Protector is even ignoring that rule. Killer Kid now pulls Phobos to his feet, and picks him up... BACKBREAKER! Phobos goes down holding his back, and Killer Kid grabs his legs, and... BOSTON CRAB!
Bowar: Great followup to the backbreaker, that boston crab, and Phobos is in trouble here! he's got this on right in the middle of the ring too! Phobos reaching for the ropes, struggling... now he's trying to power out of it! I don't think that's going to work though! Lukin now slides his golf club into the ring, and Phobos grabs ahold of it... and Lukin pulls back, and breaks the hold!
Marcus: Smart move by Lukin, and the ref now yelling at him for interfering! Killer Kid now stomps Phobos's back! Obviously trying to weaken him up for that Killer Bomb of his. Killer Kid now pulls Phobos to his feet, and sets him up for a... SIDEWALK SLAM! and a cover!
REF: 1......2....
Bowar: Phobos gets a shoulder up! Killer Kid pulls him to his feet again, and whips him to the ropes. Phobos comes back, and Killer Kid puts his head down... Phobos stops in front of Killer Kid, and... DDT! both men go down and neither of them are moving! the ref starts the count!
REF: 1....2....3....4....5....6....7..
Marcus: Phobos rolls over and drapes an arm over Killer Kid for the cover!
REF: 1......2...
Bowar: Killer Kid gets a shoulder up! Both men now slowly getting to their feet, Phobos staggers backwards to the ropes, and Killer Kid runs at him... Phobos with a back body drop, and Killer Kid goes over the top rope! Phobos drops down and rolls under the bottom rope, and goes right for Killer Kid.
Marcus: Phobos pulls Killer Kid to his feet, and tries to throw him to the guardrail... Killer Kid reverses, and Phobos hits the guardrail legs first and goes over the top of it! Killer Kid now rolls inside and starts distracting the ref, as The Protector walks over and grabs Phobos, and... VERTICAL SUPLEXES HIM BACK OVER THE GUARDRAIL! Phobos hits the floor hard!
Bowar: Eddie Lukin now comes from behind, and... he nails The Protector in the back with that golf club! Protector flinches a bit, but it doesn't knock him down! he turns around, and goes at Eddie Lukin, who is begging off! Phobos gets to his feet, and runs at the Protector, and clips his knee out from under him!
Marcus: Well Phobos saves his managers life right there, as Killer Kid rolls back outside, and punches Phobos in the face then throws him back into the ring. Killer Kid rolls back in himself, and stomps Phobos a couple more times.
Bowar: Killer Kid looking impressive here. He pulls Phobos to his feet again, and kicks him in the stomach, and... PILEDRIVER! and the cover by Killer Kid!
REF: 1......2.....
Marcus: NO! Phobos gets a shoulder up, and we were about a millimeter away from having a new champ! Killer Kid now signals that this one is about over, I guess he's gonna try and finish him off! he pulls Phobos back to his feet, and sets him up... this could be it... no! Phobos counters with a back body drop!
Bowar: Well that was just about it, but Phobos gets out of it! Phobos now to his feet, as Eddie Lukin slides a chair in! Phobos sees it, and waits for Killer Kid to get to his feet again, Killer Kid gets up, and walks towards Phobos... Phobos kicks him in the stomach, and... PHOBOCIDE! HE HIT IT! and a cover!
REF: 1......2......3
DING DING DING
Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner... AND STILL UNIVERSAL EXTREME WRESTLING NATIONAL CHAMPION... PHOBOS!
Marcus: Phobos with the win, and he's got a little while to recover before he has to wrestle in that deadpool match, and Bowar, if you'll excuse me, I have a little business to attend to.
Bowar: By all means, it's your show after all...
*Marcus gets up and leaves the announce table, as Phobos and Lukin get to the back, and Killer Kid and Protector just start leaving the ring area. Marcus gets in the ring, and Rick Cobbs gives him the mic.*
Marcus: What do you think of this one so far huh?
*Crowd gives a mild pop*
Marcus: Alright, well, I got good news and bad news, well depending on who you are it might all be good news. the bad news first is that "Dangerous" Donnie DeCosta has decided to leave the UEW. We wish him the best of luck in the future. However, this leaves one spot open in the Deadpool match, and we're scrambling to find someone to fill that position. The good news? It's time to announce the TEAMS for the Deadpool Match! Please direct your attention to the UEW-Tron!
*The UEW Tron shows a small Deadpool logo, and two big headings, "Team 1" and "Team 2".*
Marcus: Talk about technology, we don't need a bin or a hat or anything, we got a little thing that randomly generates who will be on whos team! alright, the first person on team 1!
*a spot under Team 1 starts flickering, then quickly goes through the names of all the men competing in the Deadpool match what looks like 100 times. It then stops on...*
Marcus: ELITE ERIC EGO! And the first person on Team 2!
*a spot under Team 2 starts flicking, then does the same thing as with what happened under team 1. It then stops on...*
Marcus: IMMORTAL! ok, now the second man on Team 1!
*It goes through the same thing, under Eric Ego's name, and stops on...*
Marcus: JUSTIN FUNK! ok, now the second man on Team 2!
*It goes through all the same thing, under Immortal's name, and stops on...*
Marcus: a Question Mark... well that was where DeCosta's name was going to go! We'll see what happens with that later on I guess! ok, the third man on team 1!
*It goes through all the same thing, and stops on...*
Marcus: OATMEAL! now, the third man on team 2!
*It goes through all the same thing, and stops on...*
Marcus: PHOBOS! The UEW National Champion! we're down to the last two, so the fourth man on team one is...
*It goes through all the same thing, and stops on...*
Marcus: "SENSATIONAL" STEVIE RHYMES! Well lets not bother with all the fancy graphics, that only leaves 1 man, and that's "The Executioner" Scott Diamond! This looks to be pretty good, we got Elite Eric Ego, Justin Funk, Stevie Rhymes, and Oatmeal vs Immortal, Phobos, Scott Diamond, and right now a mystery man! This is gonna be excellent! Alright, I'm going back to the announcers table, as we get set for this next match, the dumpster is being brought down here, so you know what that means! I gotta get out of here before that starts, Rick Cobbs, do yer thing!
*Marcus Williams hands Rick Cobbs the microphone, and leaves the ring.*
Rick Cobbs: This next match is scheduled for one fall, and it is a DUMPSTER MATCH WITH TEXAS DEATH MATCH RULES! We did this before that stupid fed in conneticut even thought it up! The winner will be the man who stuffs their opponent into the dumpster, and if that man cannot answer the 10 count, then the other man will be the winner! now introducing the combatants... first, from Philadelphia, representing the Extreme Icons... weighing 230lbs... here is JUSTIN SANE!
*My Life by the Jerkoffs plays as Justin Sane walks out to a fairly decent pop. he's carrying his trademark cane, and wearing cut off shorts with patches. He has obviously bleached, short hair. He walks to the ring slapping hands with the crowd. He gets to the dumpster, and opens it up and looks inside, then takes a look at the rest of it, then slides into the ring and raises the cane over his head to get the crowd to cheer louder.*
Rick Cobbs: And his opponent... from Humacao, Puerto Rico, representing The Pyro Technics, and weighing 269lbs... TNT!
*Summer Breeze by Type O Negative plays as TNT comes out to a mixed reaction, but more noticable boos. He is without his manager, Stacy "The Cherry Bomb" which might explain why he isn't getting louder cheers. He's wearing long black and red tights that say TNT, and wearing black and red facepaint. he gets to the ring and slides inside, and waits for the match to start.*
Marcus: Alright, the bell rings, and this one is underway! TNT and Sane staring each other down from their respective corners. they now slowly walk to the center of the ring, and lock up... TNT throws Sane down!
Bowar: TNT a bigger man here, doesn't seem to be in height, but in weight there's a good 40lbs difference.
Marcus: But Sane has been doing very well against the bigger men as of late, of course since you don't watch UEW you wouldn't know. Sane right back to his feet, and TNT comes at him again, Sane ducks and spins around behind TNT, TNT turns around, and Sane nails him with a jab! and another! and another! TNT staggers a bit, and Sane takes him down with a big right hand!
Bowar: Sane now pulls TNT back up, and throws him over the top rope!
Marcus: I didn't think this one would last long in the ring! Sane rolls under the bottom rope, and pulls TNT to his feet. Sane takes another swing with his right, but TNT ducks, and Sane punches the ring post! that can't be good for his hand!
Bowar: Obviously not. Sane shaking his hand in pain, and TNT lays him out with a clothesline! Sane hits the back of his head hard on the mats. TNT now pulls Sane right back to his feet, and slams his head on the apron, and now throws him into the steel steps!
Marcus: TNT with a great move there, and... the fans boo, and out walks Inferno! the odds just got even lesser in Sane's favor, not only being the smaller man, but I'm sure he's going to have to fight two men here now!
Bowar: And there's not much the ref can do about it, since the only way to win is by putting the person in the Dumpster for 10 seconds, so Inferno could pretty much interfere all he wants!
Marcus: good point. TNT now pulls Sane to his feet, and throws him back into the ring. TNT rolls back in, and pulls Sane to his feet, and whips him to the ropes. Sane hits the ropes, and TNT jumps up for a dropkick, but Sane holds onto the top rope, and TNT hits nothing but air!
Bowar: pretty good move by Sane. TNT now back up to his feet, and Sane runs at him, and nails him with a dropkick! what the hell is Inferno just standing there for? he could be helping him!
Marcus: Well maybe TNT has told him not to interfere unless it is completely necessary. TNT right back to his feet again, and runs at Sane... Sane takes him down with a Reverse Russian Legsweep! great move! and now he throws him out over the top rope, and into the Dumpster! Sane slides out of the ring, and closes the lid!
Rick Cobbs: TNT now has 10 seconds to get out of the Dumpster!
Ref: 10....9....8....7....6....5...
Bowar: TNT pushes the lid open, as Inferno comes over to help him get out of that dumpster! there's some teamwork!
Marcus: But this isn't a team effort, it's supposed to be one on one! Sane now slides outside, and Inferno calls him on! Inferno backing up a bit, as Sane comes at him, and... TNT from behind nails him with a clothesline to the back of the head!
Bowar: you said this isn't a team effort, but it's becoming one. TNT now pulls Sane to his feet, and throws him at the side of the dumpster! Sane hits face first, and staggers backwards... TNT spins him around, and... DDT on the outside!
Marcus: incredible move by TNT, and now he picks him up, and throws him in the dumpster and shuts the lid!
Rick Cobbs: Justin Sane now has 10 seconds to get out of the Dumpster!
Ref: 10....9....8....7....6....5....4....3..
Bowar: The lid lifts, and Sane is standing there with his hands behind his back sort of. TNT comes at him, and... Sane swings with a garbage bag and it hits TNT in the face! TNT staggers back a bit, then falls down! what the hell is in that bag?
Marcus: Well, it just ripped apart, and Sane threw it on the mats and it split open some more, and... it's a bunch of dinner plates!
Bowar: Dinner plates? What are they doing in the garbage!
Marcus: well I had to put something in the bags that would hurt people! TNT is bleeding, obviously from a broken plate or something, all the plates are broken now though. Sane now stands on the edge of the dumpster, and waits for TNT to get to his feet, he jumps, and... cross body block! and TNT goes down!
Bowar: Sane now getting the upper hand here, he gets to his feet, and Inferno taunts him some more, but Sane just ignores him, and throws TNT back into the ring again. Sane jumps up on the apron, then up to the top turnbuckle, and... MOONSAULT... NO!
Marcus: TNT rolled away just in time, and Sane landed hard on his stomach! TNT slowly gets to his feet, and wipes some of the blood off his face, as Inferno slides a chair into the ring! TNT grabs the chair and drops it right in the middle of the ring, as Sane slowly gets to his feet. TNT grabs him, and sets him up for a... POWERBOMB ON THE CHAIR! the back of Sane's head bounced off the center of the chair!
Bowar: Well you can see the hair on the back of his head turning slightly red. TNT now pulls Sane right to his feet, and starts punching him in the back of the head right on that wound! TNT now throws him to the turnbuckle, and picks up that chair.
Marcus: Sane staggers forward, and TNT pulls the chair back, and... WHAM! he nails him with it! but Sane doesn't quite go down! He drops to one knee! TNT pulls the chair back again, and... WHAM! AGAIN! Sane drops to all fours, but still not completely down! TNT kicks Sane in the ribs, and that brings him all the way down! TNT now places the chair on Sane's head, and runs to the ropes... NITRO BLAST! and Sane is busted open good!
Bowar: well I think he was busted open from those two chair shots instead of some fancy elbow.
Marcus: Yeah I guess you're right. TNT now rolls under the bottom rope, and drags Sane out with him, and lifts him up in a gorrilla press, and drops him down into the Dumpster! he closes the lid, and stands on top of it!
Rick Cobbs: Justin Sane now has 10 seconds to get out of the Dumpster!
Ref: 10....9....8....7....6....5....4....3....2....1..
Bowar: Sane pushes the lid open with TNT on it, and TNT goes flying head first into the ramp! Sane barely made it out in time right there, a half second later and that would have been it!
Marcus: Oh you're right! Sane now climbs out of the dumpster, and goes towards TNT, TNT slowly to his feet, and he runs at Sane... Sane catches him in a fireman's carry, and... THAT'S INSANE ON THE RAMP! he nails him with it! and now he pulls TNT to his feet, and drags him towards the dumpster, and throws him in it, and slams the lid shut!
Rick Cobbs: TNT has 10 seconds to get out of the dumpster!
Ref: 10....9....8...
Bowar: Wait a minute, Inferno comes over and tries to open the dumpster to help TNT... Justin Sane grabs him, and... THAT'S INSANE ON INFERNO!
Ref: 4....3....2....1.....0
DING DING DING
Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner... JUSTIN SANE!
Marcus: Justin Sane wins, and now he's saving our ring crew a little time, he's pushing the dumpster up the ramp with TNT in it! look at this!
Bowar: Well TNT got hit with that devestating move you said was called That's Insane, a Fireman's carry into a Brain Buster, I don't think he could get out of that thing in the next few minutes. Sane disappears behind the curtain now with the Dumpster and TNT, as Inferno slowly gets to his feet, and he's running to the back!
Marcus: Alright, well good that they got out of here quickly, I wanna keep this show moving, which brings us to this next match... the Jr. Heavyweight Title Match. These guys can certainly move. You don't have guys like this in the HCW now do you Bowar?
Bowar: No, all our guys can eat a meal without throwing it all up, but I'll tell ya what Marc this is the one that I have been waiting for. SHANK, you can't take a piss in this business and not hear some one talking about this nut job, how gaurds bring him to the ring, and he lives in like room filled with his own shit, I mean come on this guy is the friggin poster child for the UEW!
Marcus: Well in this match up he is going to meet his most prolific opponent to date. The one and only Kansas Komikaze. Nicholas Harris is a bad ass, and he is really burning up the division and I am pretty sure that I am not going over board when I say that I think he will walk out carrying that belt tonite.
Bowar: He's going to want to scrub that bastard down before he puts it on. Rick tub o crap Cobbs get this thing going!!!!
*Rick Cobbs stands at the read, white pockets showing through tux pants begging to be let out.*
Rick Cobbs: Introducing first the challenger to the UEW JR. Heavy Weight title...standing 6'0" tall and weighing in at 235 pounds....Ladies and gentlemen this is the number one contender....Kansas Komikaze Nicholas Harris!!!!!
*Harris Blows through the curtain the fans are still going wild and having a great time. Harris takes no time in getting to the ring and starts to taunt SHANK from the back the minute he hits the ring! Waving his hands towards himself and shouting. The fans are eating up the drama.*
Rick Cobbs: And the Champion....Weighing in at 215 pounds and standing 5'11" This is SHANK!!!!!!!!!
*The fans give a good sized pop as SHANK comes out chained and shackled. Two gaurds at each arm, and the title belt sitting in a HUGE pickle Jar with what we can only hope is vinegar filling the inside. Shank is unshackled and uncuffed, and then climbs into the ring.*
Marcus: This is going to be a good one!
DING DING DING
Bowar: Shank is a really goofy looking bastard. What are all those notches in his chest?
Marcus: Cuts one in everytime he wins a match. Not going to be carving one in today though. Harris comes right out after his opponent! Shank gets a hard clothesline to the floor and Harris is all over him pounding his face in with unstoppable lefts and rights. Shank squirms free. and Harris is right on him again!!!!
Bowar: That's why they call him the Kamikaze right after his opponents no matter what! Shank trying to get a hand up but Harris is pummeling him....and now flings him into the corner! Shank hits hard and Harris steps back gets a run....flips....and WHAM!!!!! Huge side kick into the corner!!!! Shank flops to the mat!
Marcus: Shank scuttles back up but Harris from behind with a boot between the shoulder blades ends all that! Harris mounts the corner turnbuckle....Shank stands....Harris flips over and moonsaults onto him!!!! Shank right over to onto his back and Harris hooks a leg this could be over!!!!
Ref: 1......2..
Bowar: No way Shank isn't the champion out of luck! He knows what he is doing in there....even though right now he knows he is pulling a foot out of his ass. Harris yanks up Shank and slaps on a tight headlock!
Marcus: Harris yanking Shank behind him runs to the ropes....runs up the ropes like steps....leaps across...and WHAT A MOVE A FLYING BULLDOG!!!!!!! That was friggin awesome!!!! And Shank is in big trouble here! Shank is trying to get up....Harris grabs his arm....into an arm drag....then a shoulder lock!!!! Shank is in big trouble I think that Harris is trying to get him to submit!
Bowar: Shank will die before he submits....No two ways about it. Harris releases the hold....and Shanks grabs his arm...and SHANK IS BITING HIM!!!!! HARRIS IS SCREAMING AND BLOOD IS STARTING TO RUN FROM THE MOUTH OF SHANK!!!!!! What a sick son of a bitch!!!!
Marcus: The fans love it thought....Harris gets his foot up and stomps Shank's back! Shank lets go and Harris is out of control now!!!! Kicking Shank in the spine....shoulders....and now stomping his head into the ground! What a violent attack!!! Harris yanks Shank off the ground and fires him into the ropes....Shank flies back and Harris grabs him by the head....FACE BUSTER TO THE MAT!!!!!
Bowar: Shank has had zero offense so far in this match! This has been all Harris!!!! Harris going for a cover yet again...
Ref: 1......2.....
Marcus: Shank barely got his shoulder up in time! Harris up for more of the champ. He pulls up Shank....and sets up a tombstone style piledriver!!!!! Shank starts kicking....he is going to roll through.....NO NO NO!!!! Shank reversed it....and tombstones Harris instead!!!!
Bowar: Harris took that one solid and he isn't getting up too fast....Shank is a little quicker....frontface lock and that nasty SHANK DDT plants Harris right on his head!!!! Shank is a master of the ddt, no one does it quite like that! Harris is not moving....Shank is headed out of the ring...and over to the time keepers table....he has the bell....coming back to the ring with the bell....
Marcus: Harris is just starting to get up....Shank standing over him....slams the bell right between his shoulder blades!!!! Harris drops....Shank sets the bell on the ground....pulls up Harris ....He's going for that ddt right on the bell!!!
Bowar: Shank sets it up....Harris blocks....Shank tries again...Harris blocks...and reverses....Suplex right on the bell!!!! Shank's back smacked right on that! He is going to be a parapalegic after that!!!!! Harris right up the corner....and leaps...ELBOW across the sternim!!!! You just know that drove Shank's back into that bell!!!!
Marcus: Harris pulls Shank up and sets up a tombstone over the bell....This time he nails it!!!! Shank is busted from ear to ear!!!! And what the hell....he's....laughing....Shank is loving this!!!! That is pissing off Harris! He pulls Shank up off the floor and drags him over to the ropes....
Bowar: Shank's head being pulled over the rope....and...Harris now stepping through the ropes out onto the apron...What is this move? Harris leaps over the ropes and drops all his weight down on Shank crushing his kneck down onto the ropes!!!! MY GOD What a beating Shank is taking this evening!!!!
Marcus: Shank bounds back onto the mat, and Harris drops into the ropes....Harris going to drop an elbow!!!! Shank moves!!!! Harris drops right onto his elbow airballing the elbow!!! Shank getting up all bloody....Harris up quickly...Shank puts the boot to the gut of Harris....Could this be it?!?
Bowar: Oh yes, it is, he pulls him up, and... he dumps him right on the back of his neck!
Marcus: He calls that the Bloody Crucifix, and now he goes for the cover!
REF: 1......2......3
DING DING DING
Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner... and still the UEW Jr. Heavyweight Champion... SHANK!
Bowar: Well, looks like your prediction was wrong Marcus, Shank wins, and now he grabs his Belt in a jar as his guards escort him out of here, but he took a hell of a beating tonight!
Marcus: Yes, he did, Harris put up a great fight, and I'm sure we'll see more from this guy.
Bowar: I know I won't... you think I'm going to actually watch UEW TV just because you invited me for a free sample? Hell no!