*Blood by KMFDM plays as Bloodbath and Marcus Williams walk to the ring, as has become tradition for the openings of UEW shows. Marcus takes Rick Cobbs Mic from him, and begins to speak*
Marcus: Ladies and Gentlemen, WELCOME TO WEDNESDAY NIGHT CHAOS! this is the first show of 1999, and also probably the shortest show of the year. We only have 5 matches tonight, but we will hopefully have a few guests out here to do some talking so it seems just as long.
Bloodbath: And because it's only 5 matches, we've decided to make 2 of the Championship Matches! First, the New Footloose Superstars will take on the Extreme Icons once again, this time with the championship on the line! It'll be Ring King and Carl Aldrich instead of Ring King and Justin Sane, making it two heavyweights vs one heavyweight and one... uh, I guess maybe paperweight would be this guy's weight class!
Marcus: And in the main event, Phobos will take on Prophet, the winner of last weeks big 3 way match! This should be a hell of a match, at least I'm hoping so, since the rest of the card doesn't look too promising, and I booked it!
Bloodbath: Uh, ok... that being said, please don't leave, try and enjoy the rest of the show!
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Rick Cobbs: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is our opening match, scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit! Coming to the ring at this time, making his debut here in the UEW... From Miami, Florida, weighing 265lbs... CRIMINAL!
*I'm Afraid of Americans plays as Criminal walks to the ring wearing a blue trenchcoat. His skin is pretty pale. He gets to the ring getting a fairly mixed response.*
Rick Cobbs: And his opponent, also making his debut here tonight... with his manager, Venom... from Detroit Michigan, weighing in at 227lbs... SPYDER!
*Spyder's theme plays as Spyder walks to the ring with his manager, Venom. They both just walk to the ring slowly, blocking out the fans. They get there, and Spyder climbs into the ring, while Venom waits outside.*
Marcus: While booking this I forgot that Spyder is a Jr. Heavyweight and Criminal is a Heavyweight, but oh well, it happens. They lock up now, and Criminal just tosses him backwards!
Bloodbath: Spyder is going to have a bit of trouble here. Criminal doesn't have that big of a weight advantage, but he has trained to be a strong heavyweight, where Spyder has trained to be a high flying Jr. Heavyweight. Spyder back to his feet, and Criminal runs at Spyder, Spyder counters with a drop toe hold!
Marcus: Criminal jumps right back up, and runs at Spyder again... Spyder hits him with another drop toe hold! Criminal pounds his fists on the mat, obviously getting a little frustrated. Criminal now runs at Spyder again, and Spyder counters with an arm drag this time! Criminal slids out of the ring, and kicks the guard rail in frustration! He turns around, and Spyder runs at him and hits him with a plancha!
Bloodbath: Spyder now rolls into the ring, and Venom comes up and kicks Criminal in the ribs! Criminal gets back up and starts yelling at her, and she's now backing off... Spyder slides out of the ring again, and waits for Criminal to turn around... and he nails him with a side thrust kick!
Marcus: Criminal goes down hard, and it looked like his head bounced hard off those mats outside, it's a good thing we didn't decide to just make that concrete, Criminal would have had a concussion right there!
Bloodbath: Spyder now throwing Criminal back into the ring, and stays on the apron waiting for Criminal to stand back up... he grabs the top rope, and jumps up... Springboard Dropkick, and Criminal staggers backwards for a second, then falls back down and rolls out of the ring once again!
Marcus: This may not be a good move for Criminal, he must've already forgot what happened the last time after that kick to the head! Spyder now runs towards the ropes, and goes for a suicide dive... Criminal moves out of the way and Spyder hits head first into the guard rail!
Bloodbath: I guess that worked too, Criminal now starts booting Spyder in the back of the head! Criminal now pulling Spyder up, and throwing him back into the ring. Criminal follows, but Venom starts grabbing Criminal by the foot. Criminal turns around, and threatens to kick her if she doesn't let go, and she lets go.
Marcus: Spyder back up, and he grabs Criminal from behind... Criminal counters with a russian leg sweep! and he goes for a cover!
REF: 1......2...
Bloodbath: Spyder kicks out! Criminal picks him up, and throws him to the ropes... Criminal bounces off the other side, and hits him with a clothesline! Spyder goes down and grabs the back of his head in pain. Criminal stands over him, and stomps Spyder in the ribs! and again! and again!
Marcus: No one ever said this guy was exactly a technical wrestler. He pulls Spyder back to his feet, and punches him in the stomach, and follows that up with a knee to the head, knocking Spyder back down! and he goes for another cover!
REF: 1......2....
Bloodbath: Spyder kicks out again! Criminal letting Spyder get back to his feet, and goes for a kick to the stomach, but Spyder catches it, and... dragon screw leg whip! Criminal getting back to his feet again, and Spyder kicks Criminal in the stomach... he grabs a handful of hair, and slams his face into the mat!
Marcus: Spyder rolls Criminal over, and now climbs to the top rope... SENTON BACK SPLASH! The crowd is loving this opening match! and Spyder goes for a cover!
REF: 1......2..
Bloodbath: Criminal pushes Spyder off of himself, and gets back up. Spyder gets back up as well, and lands a dropkick on Criminal! Spyder now goes to the apron, and waits for Criminal to get up... Springboard Hurricanrana... no! Criminal counters with a powerbomb! and a cover!
REF: 1......2.....
Marcus: Spyder is able to kick out, and that mistake almost cost him this match! Spyder now rolls out of the ring, and goes to grab a chair. Criminal now rolling out and getting a chair of his own! Spyder and Criminal slide back in the ring, and both take a swing at eachother... they both hit each other's chairs!
Bloodbath: Both men now swing again, and... they both hit each other right in the head! both men go down, and they both end up landing face first on their own chairs! the ref is counting!
REF: 1....2....3....4....5....6....7....8....9....10
DING DING DING
Rick Cobbs: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is a DRAW
Marcus: A draw! Well these two rookies to the UEW gave it their all, but weren't able to finish it off. Folks up next, Shank will take on Wes Anderson!
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Marcus: Welcome back to UEW Wednesday night Chaos! Ladies and gentlemen I strongly urge you to get any small children out of the room for this one. This next match is going to be an extreme showdown of epic proportions. One guy is an insane superstar who could give a damn if the fans like him or not, and the other is an insane superstar who last week bit out the ey of his armed gaurd.
Bloodbath: This one will go all over the place. These guys are at best freaks and at the worst absolute psychotics. Both Junior Heavy Weights, and both wanting desperately to strap the UEW JR. gold around their waist.
Marcus: Let's get these guys in the ring.
Bloodbath: I wouldn't count on this match lasting long in the ring. That is for damn sure.
Marcus: Better out here then backstage! Rick Cobbs our man in the ring take it away.
*Cobbs is seen slowly and cautiously climbing into the ring. He is mumbling about hazzard pay.*
Cobbs: Ladies and Gentlemen the UEW's next offering for this evening is scheduled for one fall.....Introducing first from the Asylum...at 5'9" and 195 lbs, escorted to the ring by his gaurds....SHANK.
*Rob Zomibe's "Dragula" plays over head and Shank makes his way to a somewhat silent audience, as he gets hustled to the ring by the two gaurds one of which is clearly wearing an eyepatch. Shank climbs in the ring, and his gaurds remove his shackles.*
Cobbs: And his opponent for this evening...From El Paso Texas, at 220 pounds and 5' 11" This is WES ANDERSON!!!!
*"Remorse" plays and the fans openly boo Wes as he marches to the ring, he offers to slap one of them, then charges the ring and goes right at Shank nocking Cobbs out through the ropes and onto the floor.*
Bloodbath: Whoa they have been in the ring for three whole seconds already, that is longer then I figure it would. Wes is laying it on really thick! Shank is trying to squirm loose from Anderson...Anderson grabs Shank's head and pins it to the floor with one hand....then WHAM!!!!! HUGE HEAD BUTT INTO THE MAT!!!!
Marcus: Shank took a stiff one there! Wes gets up off him and slides out of the ring...Shank is really hurt in there, and is gripping his head in his hands. Where is Wes going? He is going underneath the ring...he has a broom....Wes is coming back into the ring with it..
Bloodbath: Shank is rising up...over by the ropes...Wes brings the broom up over his head and swings down.....SHANK DUCKED IT AND SPEARED HIMSELF SHOULDER FIRST INTO GUT....Wes drops the broom and now has Shank giving him a five nuckle facial!
Marcus: Shank up quickly and he has the broom...Wes right up after him...Shank turns and nails him right in the peas and carrot with that broom! Wes bend over and Shank crushes that broom across the back of Wes! Wes collapses to the floor....Shank pulls him up by the hair, and whips him to the corner....Shank flies in after with a knee lift to the chops of Wes!
Bloodbath: Wes drops to the mat, and Shank runs over to the other corner and charges across at Wes who is left leaning into the corner of the ring. Another shorter knee lift to the face of Wes. Now Shank rolls out of the ring...he now is climbing under the ring...What the hell else is under there...What all do you let the guys leave down there?
Marcus: My God he has a table! Shank is coming into the ring with a table!!!! Shank has that table and he his setting it up out on the floor! What the hell does he have planned now?
Bloodbath: Well here he comes back into the ring to get on Wes again....Shank pulls up Wes...and sets him up on the turnbuckle...
*The fans start to go nuts!*
Marcus: Shank is trying to climb up there too...Wes nails him with a pop to the face! Wes is trying desperately to keep Shank off him...Wes nails him with a gut shot! Shank slumps a little....Wes reaches down and pulls Shank up anyway...What the hell is going on overthere? WES SUPLEXES SHANK OVER HIS HEAD AND DROPS BOTH OF THEM OUT THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!
Bloodbath: The fans loved that and I can't see either man coming out the better man after that! That was nuts. Both guys are just laying out there! Shank's gaurds are on hand and are checking both these men....Wes shoves the gaurd back...He is coming to quickly, and goes right after Shank....grabs him by his long black hair, and whips him hard head first into the steel steps out there by the table.
Marcus: Wes picks up the top set of stairs and goes to nail Shank with them...Shank sweeps his legs and trips up Wes who topples over backwards....Shank slowly climbs up...Wes is back up and he has the steps with him...Shank leaps and nails the stairs with a drop kick that shoves them back into Wes and sends him back onto the pavement!
*The crowd is eating this up.*
Bloodbath: Shank hops up onto the steps that are still laying right on the chest of Wes! Shank is crushing Wes uner the steps! Shank is now hopping up and down on the steps that has to just be tearing the cartilage in the chest of Wes Anderson! Shank steps off now, and Wes throws those steps off, and goes right to holding his chest!
Marcus: Undoubtably that chest is injured! Shank pulls up Wes and whips him across the apron skirting and into the gaurd rail sternim first. Shank charging after him....leap frogs over the shoulders of Wes...grabs his head and ranks his neck right across the top of that rail! Shank pops up and nails the jaw of Wes with a fierce uppercut!
Bloodbath: Shank is in firm control right now! He yanks Wes over the gaurd rail and this is out in the audience right now! Wes is trying to get back up but here comes Shank with a steel chair swings and whops the shit out of Wes sending blood splattering across the fans! Shank drops right onto the back of Wes and bites a little chunk out of his shoulder!
Marcus: This is getting out of hand!
*The fans are chanting "BLEED BLEED BLEED!"*
Bloodbath: It looks to me like Wes is coming alive off of that! Shank is loving this and Wes looks like some one just killed his puppy! Blood all over the place and Wes is up and on the offensive! He charges at Shank and tackles him and sends the ringside fans scattering! Shank tries to get back up but Wes is already up and nails him in the back of the bean with a standing side kick!
Marcus: That chomp from Shank has turned this all around! Wes climbs up on a folding chair...turns what the ...OH MY GOD MOONSAULT OFF THE CHAIR AND RIGHT ONTO SHANK!!!!!! THIS is what we all thought that we would see! Shank getting pulled up by his hair....You can see that Wes is still aching in the chest a little...he pulls Shank ....well right up here behind us.... Wes is going to try to flip him over onto out announcers table!
Bloodbath: Shank blocks him...Both men now fighting it out right behind us! Shank with a wild left....Wes nails Shank on the jaw...Shank wobbles back to the rail...Wes nocks him over it...LOOK OUT!!!!!!!
*Bloodbath stands up and moves, Williams dodges for his life, as Shank gets clotheslined over the top of the rail and sort of half onto the table. Wes leaps over the rail and yanks Shank up onto the table with him....The fans are going ape shit!*
Marcus: Wes is trying to set up his STF....but Shank flips over and nails Wes in the lower gut! Wes nearly falls off the announcers stand...Shank is back up...he goes right after Wes with hard fists! This thing is going down one way or another right on my freakin desk!!!!!
Bloodbath: Shank now picking Wes up, and... BLOODY CRUCIFIX OFF THE ANNOUNCE TABLE! Shank picks him up and pulls him into the ring, and covers him!
REF: 1......2......3
DING DING DING
Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner... SHANK!
Marcus: What a win for Shank, and he's on his way back up that ladder! folks when we come back, Killer Kid will take on the ultra-snob Elite Eric Ego!
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Rick Cobbs: This next match is scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit... coming to the ring first, with his manager, Moonlight... from Los Angeles, California, weighing 279lbs... ELITE ERIC EGO!
*We are the Champions plays as Moonlight walks out and Servants rush out as well with brooms, sweeping the ramp for Eric Ego. Eric Ego walks down the aisle, the fans booing and throwing stuff, and a sign in the crowd says "Eric Ego is the real Trailor Trash". Eric Ego ignores it all, and uses one of the servants as a step into the ring. Servants wipe him down as he waits for his opponent*
Rick Cobbs: And his opponent, with his manager, Protector... from Brooklyn, New York, weighing 275lbs... KILLER KID!
*Dope Show plays as Protector and Killer Kid walk out, to less boos than Elite Eric Ego got, but boos nonetheless. Killer Kid is wearing his regular leather pants. They just walk to the ring, ignoring the crowd. Killer Kid goes in and Protector stays on the outside.*
Marcus: Here we go! both men are very similar in height and weight, Killer Kid taller by one inch, while Eric Ego heavier by 4lbs... they lock up, and Eric Ego squirms away, and walks back to his corner, and one of the servants up on the apron and toweling him off. Killer Kid comes after him, and Eric Ego pulls the servant into the ring right in front of himself! Killer Kid grabs the servant and tosses him across the ring!
Bloodbath: Eric Ego now waits for Killer Kid to turn around, and he kicks him in the kneecap! Killer Kid goes down on one knee, and Eric Ego knees Killer Kid in the face to make him go down. That was a vicious knee to the face, and I'm surprised that didn't break Killer Kid's nose!
Marcus: Well he must've missed or something, because you're right that should have broke something anyway. Eric Ego now runs to the ropes, and... drops an elbow on Killer Kid! Killer Kid sits up a bit, and tries to shake it off.
Bloodbath: Eric Ego pulls Killer Kid back to his feet, and throws him hard to the turnbuckle! Killer Kid hits back first, and Eric Ego runs in after him, and nails him with a clothesline!
Marcus: Killer Kid staggers out of the corner, and Eric Ego runs at him from behind, and clips the knee! Killer Kid goes down, and Eric Ego now slapping on a knee bar!
Bloodbath: Eric Ego really working on that knee! Moonlight is jumping up and down and clapping, that might have something to do with the fans cheering...
Marcus: I know I'm enjoying it! Killer Kid trying to reach for the ropes here, he's not that far off... and he's got 'em! Eric Ego though still not letting go! the ref is counting, but what the hell can he do about it? there's no DQ in the UEW!
Bloodbath: Maybe not, but the ref is counting anyways... Killer Kid now using his other leg to kick Eric Ego! he's booting him in the face to make him break this hold, and he finally does! Both men up, and Eric Ego goes for a clothesline... Killer Kid ducks it, and levels him with a clothesline of his own!
Marcus: Killer Kid limping though, he's obviously in some pain here. He tries to pull Eric Ego to his feet, but Ego rolls him up with a small package!
REF: 1......2..
Bloodbath: Killer Kid kicks out! Ego now back to his feet, he has dominated this match basically from the opening bell. Killer Kid to his feet now too, but he's limping slightly. Eric Ego now attempting to throw Killer Kid to the ropes, but Killer Kid reverses it, Ego comes back... Killer Kid catches him with a sidewalk slam!
Marcus: Ego goes down, and rolls out of the ring, as his servants swarm on him trying to give him a drink of water and towel him off. Protector now coming around the side of the ring, and he's throwing Ego's servants all over the place trying to get to Ego!
Bloodbath: Protector kicks Ego in the stomach, and throws him back inside the ring for Killer Kid! the ref is warning Protector about interfering, wait, Moonlight coming up from behind... Protector turns around! Moonlight stops dead in her tracks, and starts walking backwards... Ego sees this and starts yelling at Protector, Killer Kid from behind, and he rolls Ego up!
REF: 1......2...
Marcus: Ego kicks out! He's got a bit of a frustrated look on his face. Protector has stopped chasing Moonlight, and went back to his corner. Ego back to his feet now, and him and Killer Kid lock up... Killer Kid knees Ego in the stomach, and picks him up... Piledriver! and another cover!
REF: 1......2....
Bloodbath: Ego kicks out again! that was quite a piledriver, nothing compared to the Bloodydriver, but a good one nonetheless!
Marcus: Stop praising yourself and call the damn match!
Bloodbath: I'm just saying is all... Killer Kid now pulling Ego to his feet, and... he picks him up and delivers a backbreaker! Ego goes down, and Killer Kid locks on a Boston Crab!
Marcus: both these men know exactly how to use this move, you can see Eric Ego now with a look of pain on his face, he is definatly hurting now! wait, Moonlight now grabbing Eric Ego's wrists and dragging him out to the floor! Killer Kid looses the grip on his hold and Eric Ego escapes the hold without even getting to the ropes!
Bloodbath: He was close anyway he would have got to them...
Marcus: Not neccessarily! Ego now rolls back into the ring, and Killer Kid goes after him, but he kicks him in that bad knee! He picks him up, and puts him on the top rope! Oh I think I know where this is headed!
Bloodbath: Oh yeah, he climbs up with him, and... PEASANT PLUNGE! and a cover!
REF: 1......2......3
DING DING DING
Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner... ELITE ERIC EGO!
Marcus: Eric Ego wins the match with that top rope Piledriver he calls the Peasant Plunge, and folks, we'll be back right after this!
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