*Shot of UEW arena, about 5000 screaming fans holding signs... then "Blood" by KMFDM plays, as Bloodbath and Marcus walk out, walking slowly to the ring and slapping hands with the fans. They get in the ring, and Rick Cobbs hands them a mic*
Marcus: Ladies and Gentlemen, WELCOME to WEDNESDAY NIGHT CHAOS! By now you should know who we are, and where the hell you are tonight!
*Fans chant "UEW! UEW! UEW!"*
Bloodbath: 'Bout time you got it right! and tonight we hope to hear from the champ! We know that AC...
*Fans scream at the mention of AC*
Bloodbath: Anyways, we know he's here tonight, will he come out here tonight and talk about what it's like to be the Universal Heavyweight Champion!
Marcus: And also tonight in our main event, we will see yet another Triple Threat Match! Viper, Prophet, and Wraith, the last 3 men to be eliminated in the Table Battle Royal, will wrestle for the #1 contenders spot for the National Heavyweight Title!
Bloodbath: Also, the new Jr. Heavyweight Champ, Christian Cross, will defend his title against the lunatic Shank! two psycotics wrestling each other, it should be a hell of a match for the Jr. Heavyweight title!
Marcus: The rest of the card is in your people's program, if you didn't buy it, then go buy one right now, or be surprised, either way, lets get on with the show!
*Marcus and Bloodbath leave the ring and head to the announce table*
( Great Malenko by ICP begins to play over the PA system and the crowd begins to boos immediately as they here the music. "Sensational" Stevie Rhymes, comes threw the entrance way wearing a Prestige, Power and Pain t-shirt and Oakley sunglasses. Than the Junior Heavyweight Champion Christian Cross comes threw the entrance way holding his belt up high for the fans to see, Cross has his hair slicked back showing off the scars on his face from previous matches. Than Rhymes and Cross walk halfway to the ring, when they stop and than point at the entrance way and than "The Next Franchise" Justin Funk comes threw the entrance way, wearing a "Next Franchise" shirt that says the REAL WORLD CHAMP!, come to the school of hard knocks. The fans boos become louder than ever, they really hate these guys. The Prestige, Power and Pain make there way to the ringside area, Stevie Rhymes runs over to the announcing area and grabs a mic from the announcer. Rhymes jumps into the ring, and joins the rest of the Prestige, Power and Pain in the ring Rhymes begins to talk.)
Rhymes: Well, well, well, welcome one, welcome all to the beginning of the end for all of the wrestling in the whole fuckn� UEW!
( The fans begins to chant UEW, UEW, UEW)
Rhymes: Why don�t you morons just shut the fuck up and respect the only true superstar in the sport of professional wrestling.
( Stevie looks around threw the fans and begins to laugh.)
Rhymes: By the looks of you fat out of shape so-called human being you wouldn�t know true greatest if it bit you on your on motherfuckn� nose. Well we came out here to say something not fuck around with you fans so will just get on with it already.
( Rhymes throws the mic over to Christian and than Christian hits the mat and begins to roll around.)
Cross: To be a champion you have to look like a champion, and well by what my mommy said before I left my home I look like a million bucks.
( The fans begin to chant you look like a "Freak" you�re a "Freak") Cross: What, what, why, why!?!?!??!??!?!?!??!?!?
( Christian begins to bang the mic over his head over and over again until Cross has busted himself open.)
Cross: Why, do you chant, and chat that I�m a freak, all I want to do to is be the people�s champion and the people�s choices, but all you do is look and me and judge me by my face and the way I look.
( Christian is really bleeding now, Funk comes over to Christian and helps him into the corner and takes the mic away from him, but Christian grabs it back.)
Cross: Daddy, daddy just hold on I�m not done yet, just give me a minute daddy please, please let me speak on this please daddy....
Funk: Alright go ahead and speak your mind but make it quick....
Cross: Thank you daddy, thank you daddy, now tonight when me and Shank face in this very ring I will tell you one thing it won�t be pretty it won�t be a sight for the children in the family but I will promise you that the world will see Shank blood hit the mat as mind has already tonight, before the nights is out Shank blood will be seen by the world and I will remain the champion.
( Cross jumps to his feet and gets a weird look on his face.)
Cross: And to all the other Junior Heavyweight�s in the UEW who are talking shit about the champion I promise you, you will have to kill me to take away this belt, so if you feel you can take me out bring it on, alright Daddy the floor is yours.
( Christian throws the mic over to Justin Funk.)
Funk: Well, well, well I have a little problem with the way things are going in the UEW at the moment. First off at Goldrush we have two men who were former stable mates facing the best man in the whole UEW of course you know who that is me of course. What the hell do you think was going to happen, of course I lost. The match was nothing more than two men who are so-called the cream of the crop beating on one man and what the hell do you think was going to happen I lost of course.
( The fans begin chant to cry baby, cry baby.)
Funk: Why don�t you loser shut your mouths, and respect the true Champion in the UEW just like my shirt says. Second the and my biggest problem is that so-called gangstar called the Konvicted Felon, what the hell do you think you are doing in the UEW. Your nothing but a hip-hop gangstar wannabe, that wouldn�t know a wristlock from a wristwatch.
Rhymes: Yes he would, he knows if you steal a wristwatch you go to the pen, and he knows what a wristlock is because that what the bitches in jail do to him to hold him in place, for the but fucking they do to him every night. And Felon after a while you really started to enjoy it didn�t you, you have to admit it to me and the world.
( Rhymes pulls out his trademark Cuban cigar and lights it up and takes a few puff of the cigar all the while laughing about the comments hejust made.)
Funk: I just have a few more things to say before we leave, one thing is that I have a problem with the world champion AC, what the hell kind of champion is that. AC isn�t a champion that you can be admire, yeah AC in a one on one match with the Franchise you know that you won�t stand a chance in hell and that�s all I have to say about that.
Rhymes: Hey Funk, we better hurry up and reveal the surprise we have for the world the UEW officials are saying we are running out of time.
Funk: Well I guess we have to let the cat of the bag, and reveal the surprise the world has been awaiting for and the surprise is.....
( Funk points to the entrance way, and Straight out of Compton by NWA begins to play over the PA and Funk begins to speak again.)
Funk: And your surprise is the newest member of the Prestige, Power and Pain, the Bodyguard of the greatest stable on the face of the earth here he is making his return to the ring.... "Big Nasty the Giant Killer" JCRhymes.
( JC Rhymes comes threw the entrance way standing at near 7' feet tall wearing a Cop Killer t-shirt, on the back saying " Hey Felon you better call 9-1-1 to save your punk ass." Big Nasty enters the ring and grabsthe mic.)
Big Nasty: Yes, yes the Nasty one is back in the sport of professional wrestling. And just like the past I only hang around with the greatest people in wrestling so that�s why I�m here in the UEW to watch the back of the Prestige, Power and Pain. And to my old buddy Felon you better not step to me punk or you will feel the Cop Killer, yeah Stevie what�s that thing we use to say..
( Stevie grabs the mic.)
Rhymes: Oh yeah, I think it�s LICK IT, SUCK IT, AND FUCK IT, And if you didn�t know you better pull your head out of your ass and call SOMEBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Big Nasty: Yeah that�s it.
Funk: Now who wants some bring it on.
( The Prestige, Power and Pain exit the ring to the boos from thecrowd.)
Marcus: Alright, a visit from PP&P, and folks, when we come back we'll get on with the wrestling!
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*Commercial for various UEW crap
*Sepultura: Against. Buy it now!
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Rick Cobbs: Ladies and Gentlemen, our opening contest is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit, and it is a Jr. Heavyweight contest! coming to the ring, from Memphis, Tennessee, weighing 215lbs... MATT COBAIN!
*Negative Creep by Nirvana plays as Matt Cobain walks to the ring looking at the crowd with a cocky look on his face. he wipes the hair out of his face, and continues to walk to the ring.*
Rick Cobbs: And his opponent... with his manager, Elisa... from Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada, weighing 225lbs... "The Extreme Canadian" GREG KLEIN!
*Elisa walks out first, then waits as Greg Klein walks out, wearing shades and his "I'm Extreme shirt. He walks to the ring not even acnoleging the fans, just continues walking.*
Marcus: Two of our biggest Jr. Heavyweights in there, Greg Klein's style is more like a heavyweight, where Cobain does more of the high flying style. The bell sounds, and here we go! Cobain runs straight at Klein, and Klein hits him with a shoulderblock. Cobain goes down, but springs right back up.
Bloodbath: Like you said Marcus, this is two different styles, and it's going to be hard for Cobain to adjust, especially when Cobain is used to being the bigger guy in the ring. Cobain now circles, looking for an opening... Cobain goes for a dropkick, and Klein just swats him away. Cobain jumps again and goes for another dropkick, and Klein swats him away again!
Marcus: Cobain obviously getting frustrated, he runs to the ropes... and Elisa trips him up! the ref goes over to warn her, and Cobain turns around to yell at her... Klein grabs Cobain from behind, and... Release German Suplex!
Bloodbath: looks like the managers are starting to become a little more useful here in the UEW. Cobain grabbing the back of his neck, he really took that move hard! Klein pulls Cobain back to his feet, and throws Cobain to the ropes... Cobain comes back, and Klein hits him with a stiff lariat! Cobain goes down hard again!
Marcus: Klein is a stong guy for his size! Klein goes to pick Cobain up, and Cobain rolls him up with a small package!
REF: 1......2...
Bloodbath: Klein kicks out, and punches Cobain in the face. Klein now pulling Cobain back to his feet, and whips him to the turnbuckle... Cobain hits back first, and staggers forward... Klein kicks him in the stomach, and... DDT! and now Klein rolls outside.
Marcus: Why the hell is he doing this? He's got Cobain right where he wants him! Klein now looking under the ring, and.. he's pulling out a table!
Bloodbath: Well he likes to call himself the "Extreme Canadian" so I guess he's out to prove it right here. Klein slides the table into the ring, then rolls in to set it up... Cobain getting back to his feet, and sees Klein setting up the table... Cobain runs, and hits a dropkick! Klein goes back outside through the ropes!
Marcus: Cobain grabs the top rope, and waits for Klein to get to his feet... SPRINGBOARD PLANCHA! Cobain jumps right back to his feet again, and now pulls Klein to his feet, and throws him back in the ring. Cobain slides in too, and he's setting Klein up on the table!
Bloodbath: Cobain now climbing to the top rope, and he goes for a Senton... Klein moves, and Cobain goes through the table! Klein goes for a cover!
REF: 1......2....
Marcus: Cobain kicks out! Klein with a pretty big smile on his face, I guess he figures he's got this one in the bag... He throws Cobain to the ropes, and picks him up in a firemans carry... DEATH VALLY DRIVER! and another cover!
REF: 1......2.....
Bloodbath: Cobain gets a shoulder up! Elisa slamming the apron, and screaming at the ref, but Klein doesn't look too worried at all. Klein now pulls Cobain to his feet... Cobain punches Klein in the stomach, and... Rocker Dropper! Klein hits hard, and Cobain goes for a cover!
REF: 1......2...
Marcus: Klein kicks out! Cobain quickly right on Klein with a legdrop!
Bloodbath: Cobain getting a second wind of sorts here! Cobain pulls Klein to his feet and throws him to the ropes... Cobain comes back, and... Hurricanrana... no! Klein reverses with a Powerbomb! and a cover!
REF: 1......2.....
Marcus: Cobain kicks out barely! I guess you spoke too soon Bloodbath!
Bloodbath: I guess so. Klein now pulls Cobain to his feet, both men are looking tired... Klein goes for a German Suplex! both mens shoulders are down though, and the ref is counting!
REF: 1......2......3
DING DING DING
Rick Cobbs: Ladies and Gentlemen, both mens shoulders were on the mat, therefore, this match is a draw!
Marcus: Incredible! both men gave it their all, but neither could come up with the win. Coming up next, Hunter vs Eden Fury!
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*UEW Goldrush 98: The Replay. If you didn't see it the first time, watch it now damnit!
*Official Goldrush T-Shirt: Goldrush logo on front, list of champs and "Feel the Rush" on back
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Marcus: We are moving right along here, with this next match between two guys who are here wrestling in their very first singles match. Rick Cobbs, take it away.
*Rick Cobbs is standing there with a stupid grin on his face*
Rick Cobbs: This next match is scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit. Coming to the ring first, the leader of the Dark Alliance... From the "Dark Side", weighing 266lbs... THE HUNTER!
*Hersey by NIN plays as The Dark Alliance walks out, with the Hunter leading the way. the crowd boos, but the Dark Alliance just keeps walking. Hunter climbs in the ring, and the Dark Alliance stays outside.*
Rick Cobbs: And his opponent... from "Somewhere in Canada" weighing 250lbs... EDEN FURY!
*"Hero of the Day by Metallica plays as Eden Fury runs out to the ring, slides in, and attacks Hunter.*
Bloodbath: Eden Fury not wasting any time here, he just starts laying punches and kicks randomly into the face and stomach of Hunter! Hunter trying his best to just cover up, but it's not working too well! Fury now grabs Hunter's arm and throws him to the ropes... Hunter comes back, and Eden Fury hits him with a back elbow!
Marcus: Eden Fury really fired up here, and Hunter goes outside to talk with his stablemates... the fans don't really like either of these men, but Fury is kind of playing face in this match, the crowd is giving Fury a mixed reaction as he waits in the ring for Hunter to get back in the ring.
Bloodbath: Hunter now steps up on the apron, and Fury runs at him... Hunter puts his shoulder into Furys stomach, and grabs Fury by the hair, and pulls him throat first across the top rope! Hunter climbs back into the ring. Eden Fury starts to get to his feet, and Hunter kicks him right in the mouth!
Marcus: Nothing technical about that! Fury grabs his face in pain, and rolls around on the mat. Hunter now pulls him to his feet, and throws him to the turnbuckle. Hunter slowly walks in, and puts his foot to Fury's throat! Fury trying to push Hunter's foot away, but he can't! Hunter pours on the pressure, and now grabs Furys arm and irish whips him to the opposite turnbuckle... Fury reverses it, and Hunter hits back first!
Bloodbath: Fury follows him in, and hits him with a clothesline! Hunter staggers out of the corner, and Fury grabs him... Fisherman Buster! and a cover!
REF: 1......2..
Marcus: Hunter kicks out! Fury pulls Hunter to his feet again, and kicks him in the stomach, and... firemans carry over his shoulder and into a sleeper!
Bloodbath: I don't know if that's a sleeper or if it's more of a choke, but here it really doesn't matter, he could be using a steel cable across his throat and we'd call it a submission hold! Hunter trying to break this hold, but it's really not working.
Marcus: The ref is checking Hunter, asking him if he gives up... he's now checking the arms, he brings it up... it drops once... he brings it up again... it drops again... he brings it up again... and Hunter keeps it raised! Hunter now gets to his feet, and... JAWBREAKER! Fury goes down!
Bloodbath: Fury is going to be really dipping into the UEW dental plan after this match with the shots to the face he's taken! Hunter now stomps the chest of Fury, and then decides to pull him to his feet. He picks him up, and... Back Breaker! and a cover!
REF: 1......2....
Marcus: Fury kicks out! Fury nursing his back now, that was one hell of a back breaker! Hunter gets up and stomps Fury in the face! and again! Fury now slowly getting to his feet, and Hunter boots him in the ribs, and Fury goes back down. Hunter now grabs Fury's legs, it looks like he's going to go for that Death Trap submission hold... no, he drops his elbow into Fury's groin!
Bloodbath: Well that's probably just as effective! Hunter now pulls fury to his feet, and sets him up for a Powerbomb... Fury counters with a back body drop! Hunter quickly back to his feet, and goes for a lariat... Fury ducks, and grabs him from behind... German Suplex! he holds on, and rolls him over... another one! and he still holds on, and... another one! he releases it this time, and now goes for the cover!
REF: 1......2....
Marcus: Hunter kicks out! Fury now locks in a leg bar! Hunter flailing his arms trying to break this hold, and now he's reaching for the ropes... he's at least 4 feet away from them at the moment. He's reaching as far as he can... and Wraith pushes the bottom rope toward Hunter, and Hunter is able to grab ahold of it!
Bloodbath: The ref is telling Fury to break the hold, and Fury now arguing with the ref about the interference. He turns around, and Hunter kicks him in the stomach, and... POWERBOMB! and a cover!
REF: 1......2.....
Marcus: Fury kicks out! Hunter now pulling Fury to his feet, and... Fury hits him with a low blow!
Bloodbath: Fury returning that low blow Hunter gave him earlier. Both men are down now! and the ref is putting the count on!
REF: 1....2....3....4....5....6....7...
Marcus: Fury getting to his feet first, and now Hunter getting to his. Fury takes a swing at Hunter, Hunter ducks, and kicks Fury in the stomach... POWERBOMB! and... wait a minute, Justin Sane is coming down the ramp! Justin Sane sprinting into the ring, he slides in, Hunter turns around, and... THAT'S INSANE! Justin Sane hits it! the ref now calling for the bell!
DING DING DING
Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner, as a result of a disqualification... HUNTER!
Bloodbath: What is this all about? Justin Sane hits "That's Insane" on Hunter, and now he's taking off! he just cost Eden Fury the match! folks, we'll be right back, The Andersons will take on the Hardboys.
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*UEW Action Figures: AC with Universal Title belt
*Hardboy's shirt: big Union Jack pattern with "Hardboys" written on the back
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Rick Cobbs: This next match is a tag team match scheduled for one fall. Coming to the ring, from England, at a total combined weight of 565lbs... Hardboy Bullockhead, and Gladstone Blower... THE HARDBOYS!
*Anarchy in the UK plays as the Hardboys walk out, spitting at some of the fans and threatening to attack others. They get to the ring, and climb in and wait for their opponents, Hardboy Bullockhead waits on the apron while Gladstone waits in the ring.*
Rick Cobbs: And their opponents... from El Paso Texas, at a total combined weight of 455lbs... Doug and Wes... the ANDERSONS!
*No Remorse plays as The Andersons walk out, Just ignoring the crowd, the crowd doesn't really like these guys either. Doug gets in the ring and Wes waits on the apron*
Bloodbath: We really gotta start booking matches where the crowd actually likes one or the other... the bell sounds, and here we go! the two biggest guys from each team, but Gladstone Blower is bit bigger. They now start circling in the ring, looking for an opening... and Wes runs in and goes for the leg... Gladstone moves out of the way.
Marcus: I guess Wes is looking to wrestle a very technical "Wrestling" match, but there's no way the Hardboys will make this technical. They just wanna hurt their opponents! Wes now circling again, and he shoots in again... Gladstone clubs him in the back of the head, and throws him outside!
Bloodbath: Well this is going to get ugly pretty quickly, the Hardboys definatly know their way around the outside of a ring.
Marcus: They sure do after Goldrush, weren't they eliminated first?
*Bloodbath and Marcus start laughing*
Bloodbath: ahh... anyways, the Hardboys both attacking Wes, and Doug now coming to help his partner, but Bullockhead cuts him off with a clothesline! Gladstone picks Wes up, and drops him chest first on the guardrail!
Marcus: the Andersons are not getting off to a good start here! Gladstone rolls Wes back into the ring, and drops a quick elbow on him and goes for a cover!
REF: 1......2..
Bloodbath: Wes easily kicks out. Bullockhead and Doug back in their respective corners. Gladstone grabs Wes by the hair and pulls him to his corner, and tags in Bullockhead. Bullockhead and Gladstone now throw Wes in the corner and start punching him repeatedly. Doug coming in, but the ref restraining him and telling him to stay back.
Marcus: Gladstone gets in his corner, and starts choking Wes with the tag rope. The ref turns around, and Gladstone immediatly stops.
Bloodbath: These guys are pretty good at that kind of stuff, we do sort of have rules here for tag matches, so that they stay TAG matches and not just a 2 on 2 brawl, what's the fun in that?
Marcus: It's still pretty fun... anyways Bullockhead now throws Wes to the ropes... Wes reverses... Wes puts his head down, and... back body drop! Wes now slowly goes towards his corner, and tags in Doug!
Bloodbath: Doug comes in and starts stomping Bullockhead. He now pulls him up, and... T-Bone suplex right back down! and a cover!
REF: 1......2...
Marcus: Bullockhead kicks out! Doug now pulling Bullockhead back towards his corner, and he tags in Wes, who immediatly goes to the top rope... Doug bodyslams Bullockhead, and... Wes hits a legdrop from the top rope! and a cover by Wes!
REF: 1......2....
Bloodbath: Gladstone Blower comes in and makes the save! Doug comes back in, and hits a forearm shot to the forehead of Gladstone. Wes pulls Bullockhead to his feet, and lifts him up... RUNNING POWERBOMB! woah! and a cover!
REF: 1......2.....
Marcus: Hardboy Bullockhead somehow kicks out! the ref getting Doug and Gladstone back to their corners now. Wes now picking Hardboy Bullockhead up... Bullockhead tries to kick Wes in the stomach out of desperation, but Wes catches it... Bullockhead hits an enzuguri! both men go down!
Bloodbath: both men now slowly trying to get to their corners... Wes gets to his first, and he tags in Doug... Doug goes after Bullockhead... he's able to tag in Gladstone! Doug takes a swing at Gladstone, but he blocks it, and knees him in the nuts! Doug staggers backwards, and... Gladstone hits him with a Superkick! and a cover!
REF: 1......2.....
Marcus: Doug barely gets a shoulder up! Wes now back in the ring, and now Bullockhead is back in the ring. All 4 men are just fighting each other, and the ref is trying to break it up... Wes and Hardboy Bullockhead both hit the ref, and knock him down! the ref gets right back up and calls for the bell!
DING DING DING
Rick Cobbs: The referees decision is that this match is a double disqualification!
Marcus: These 4 men are still going at it, we gotta take a break, when we come back, hopefully these guys will be out of the ring and we can move on with the Jr. Heavyweight Championship match!