*Marcus Williams and Bloodbath walk to the ring, which for some reason has no ropes on it, to a huge pop. Signs such as "Put the tights back on Bloodbath" and "Marcus for PrimeMinister" are caught by the camera. Marcus takes a portable mic out of his suit jacket as he walks into the ring.*
Marcus: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to WEDNESDAY NIGHT CHAOS!
*Crowd pops*
Bloodbath: Save your energy folks, because tonight starts the UNIVERSAL TITLE TOURNY! And we said there would be a few surprises... well, you can see that there are no ropes, and there's a reason for it... Boys!
*4 men wearing heavy work gloves walk to the ring carrying rolls of barbed wire. They each take a corner, and start stringing the barbed wire up, as Bloodbath and Marcus walk out of the ring*
Marcus: That's right, the first round matches will all be no roped barbed wire matches! This is going to add a bit of excitment I would hope! Also, you can see stacks of folded tables here by this side of the ring. We've decided to make them readily available because it's just more fun that way!
Bloodbath: Oh yeah. We don't call it Universal Extreme Wrestling for nothing... what did you people think? we were going to have a normal tournament? if you seriously thought that, you haven't been paying attention to the shows lately! hell, roll the clip from two weeks ago!
---Clip---
Bloodbath: Ring King now kicks Justin Sane in the stomach, and picks him up in a fireman's carry... RK DRIVER! AND THEY WENT THROUGH THE CAGE! Where did you get this thing? K-Mart?
Marcus: Shut up, it was out of the FMW's dumpster. But look at this! both men hit the mat hard! It looks like they're unconsious! We need paramedics out here now!
---Clip---
Bloodbath: and what about last week?
---Clip---
Marcus: Phobos looks shocked...and that gives Kon time to get up and level Phobos with a hard clothesline! Kon now pulls Phobos out to the bridge....He starts to attempt a carry style move....Phobos starts to fight back! A hard punch sends Kon reeling...But he comes back with a punch of his own! Both men giving it all they have!!!! Kon reeling now....Phobos back! Both men getting wobbly on that ramp. Some one is going to fall!!!!!
Bloodbath: Phobos regains his balance a bit, and takes a swing at Kon... Kon ducks, and kicks him in the stomach... he picks him up, and... He's got him up in position for the Hell Razor! He now walks over to the side of the platform, and... HELLRAZOR OFF THE SCAFFOLD! KON WINS! KON WINS!
Rick Cobbs: The winner of this match... KONVICTED FELON!
Marcus: I don't believe it! Kon won! Phobos dropped into that barbed wire net, and look at him, he's bleeding like hell! Kon now climbing down from the scaffold, and he has a huge smile on his face. That was a hell of a match by both men, and now they're taking down the barbed wire net to let Phobos leave.
---Clip---
Marcus: Lets hope we see some more of this type of action tonight! lets show those brackets again as well for those that may not have seen them yet.
Bloodbath: Folks, this looks like it'll be a hell of a night! I can't wait, so folks, screw commercials tonight, it's just matches, commercial free!
Marcus: *pulls 6 envelopes out of his jacket* folks, in these 6 envelopes we have each match that is listed on the brackets written on cards inside them. who are we going to see first? Bloodbath, choose an envelope.
*Bloodbath takes an envelope and opens it*
Bloodbath: Rekoil vs Stevie Rhymes! Lets get this one under way!
*Bloodbath and Marcus walk over to the announce table*
Rick Cobbs: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a first round match in the UEW's Universal Heavyweight Title Tournament, scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit. Coming to the ring first, with his manager, Janice... weighing 374lbs... REKOIL!
*Deformography plays as ReKoil and Janice walk out, Janice giving ReKoil some last minute instructions, as ReKoil looks straight at the ring. He gets there, and slides under the barbed wire to get in, then stands up and throws his hair back out of his face.*
Rick Cobbs: And his opponent... from Woodstock Ontario Canada, weighing 237lbs... Representing Prestige, Power, and Pain... "Sensational" STEVIE RHYMES!
*Great Malenko by ICP plays as Stevie Rhymes walks to the ring by himself. He gets to the ring and jumps up on the ring post that normally has turnbuckles on it, then jumps down into the ring to avoid the barbed wire.*
Bloodbath: Look at this, Rhymes jumps down, and ReKoil runs in and levels him with a Lariat to start things off right away! Rhymes is giving away almost 140lbs here, this is going to be a very tough match for him. You can see that these guys did a good job with the barbed wire, it's not just a strand of it where each rope would be, it's all set up like a web! This is going to be great.
Marcus: ReKoil now pulling Rhymes to his feet, and throwing him to the barbed wire... Rhymes stops about 2 inches in front of the barbed wire. Rhymes turns around, and ReKoil takes a swing at him... Rhymes ducks, and starts throwing punches to the stomach of ReKoil. The punches are barely phasing ReKoil! ReKoil now grabs Ryhmes by the hair, and... headbutts him! Ryhmes drops to the canvas.
Bloodbath: Like I said, this is going to be tough for Rhymes. ReKoil might just be too big for Rhymes. ReKoil picks Rhymes right back up, and punches him in the face. Rhymes staggers backwards a bit, and ReKoil tries for another lariat... Rhymes ducks! ReKoil turns around, and Rhymes hits him with a drop kick! ReKoil staggers backwards a little, it looks like he might go into the barbed wire... Rhymes takes a step back, and runs at ReKoil... ReKoil puts his head down, and Back body drops him out of the ring!
Marcus: ReKoil with a fairly smart counter to keep him out of the barbed wire, and Rhymes hit hard outside the ring! ReKoil now rolls out of the ring, and he grabs a chair... Rhymes slowly getting to his feet, and ReKoil swings... and he connects to the back of Rhymes! he goes right back down before he can even get back up! ReKoil now searching under the ring... a barbed wire board!
Bloodbath: Man you hide a lot of stuff under there don't ya Marcus?! ReKoil now sliding that into the ring, and now goes over to Rhymes and throws him back into the ring, and ReKoil follows him in.
Marcus: This is going to get interesting in a hurry. ReKoil props the barbed wire board up into the corner, and turns around... Rhymes is up, and he hits a spinning heel kick on ReKoil! ReKoil staggers back... and backs into the barbed wire board! Rhymes to his feet quickly, as ReKoil tries to get out of the corner... Rhymes hits a dropkick and ReKoil falls back into the barbed wire board again, and it breaks!
Bloodbath: ReKoil quickly to his feet again, pulling the barbs out of his back. Rhymes kicks him in the stomach, and... rocker dropper! and a cover!
REF: 1......2.
Marcus: ReKoil easily throws Rhymes off of him. Rhymes now waits for ReKoil to get to his feet, and runs at him... he tries a crucifix... ReKoil counters with a samoan drop! and a cover!
REF: 1......2..
Bloodbath: Rhymes gets a shoulder up fairly easily. ReKoil now pulling Rhymes to his feet, and he throws him to the barbed wire... Rhymes hits into it back first! Rhymes now bleeding, and ReKoil pulls him out of the barbed wire, and... DDT! and another cover!
REF: 1......2....
Marcus: Rhymes kicks out! ReKoil now grabs the broken barbed wire board and slides it to the middle of the ring. It's broken in half but the barbed wire is keeping it all together still. ReKoil now pulls Rhymes up, and... GORRILA PRESS! There's no where for Rhymes to go now! ReKoil positions himself near the board... and drops him backwards! Rhymes slams chest first into the barbed wire board!
Bloodbath: It looks like a barb is stuck in his cheek, some in his chest, some in his legs... Rhymes is going to be a mess after this match! ReKoil now rolls Rhymes over, and goes for a cover... Rhymes with a small package!
REF: 1......2...
Marcus: ReKoil kicks out. That was a pretty close one, Rhymes caught him by surprise. I think that's what he's going to have to do to win this match. ReKoil and Rhymes both up, and ReKoil kicks Rhymes in the stomach... he's setting him up for the Screamin Demon... he lifts him up... Rhymes reverses with a hurricanrana!
Bloodbath: Rhymes saving himself from defeat there! ReKoil quickly to his feet... Rhymes kicks him in the gut, and... TIGER DRIVER! Stevie Rhymes drags ReKoil near the corner, and now he climbs up that post, this is tough to do with no turnbuckles... SENSATIONAL SPLASH! and the cover!
REF: 1......2......3
DING DING DING
Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner... "SENSATIONAL" STEVIE RHYMES!
Marcus: Stevie Rhymes is going to the second round!
Bloodbath: Somewhat of an upset here, I mean, Stevie Rhymes is a great wrestler, but I thought ReKoil was just too big for him. Stevie Rhymes takes off, as ReKoil gets up and he looks pissed off! Janice now in the ring calming him down and leading him back to the dressing room.
Marcus: *uses the portable mic to talk to the crowd* Alright, it's time to see who's going to wrestle next. Bloodbath, choose another envelope.
*Bloodbath chooses another envelope and opens it*
Bloodbath: ShowStopper vs Jonathan West! Rick Cobbs, announce it!
Rick Cobbs: This next match is another first round match in the Universal Heavyweight Title Tournament! it's scheduled for one fall, with a 20 minute time limit. Coming to the ring, From Manhattan... weighing 287 lbs, and representing RUTHLESS... EZ SHOWSTOPPER!
*Pretty Fly for a White Guy by OffSpring plays as ShowStopper walks to the ring now wearing Tiger Striped shorts and a pretty tacky trenchcoat. He slides under the barbed wire, and lets the trenchcoat slide off his back, revealing a Ruthless t-shirt that says "We're Ruthless like yo mommas Toothless on the back*
Rick Cobbs: And his opponent... from Regina, Saskatchewan, weighing 250lbs... JONATHAN WEST!
*Back in Black by AC/DC plays as Elisa walks out first, then Jonathan West follows. West stares straight at ShowStopper, with a look of anger in his eyes. he's got all black contact lenses in to make it look like he has no eyes. He steps up on the apron, and tests the durability of the barbed wire by tugging on it, then grabs the barbed wire and jumps over the top.*
Marcus: Well here we go! West challenging ShowStopper here to a test of strength. ShowStopper hesitates, but raises one hand to meet Wests... and now the other... West throws a knee to ShowStopper's stomach and now pours on the pressure!
Bloodbath: ShowStopper looks like he's in pain, and I would hope that he isn't going to give up already, this match has barely started! ShowStopper now fighting to get back to his feet, but West is pouring on more pressure. ShowStopper with a look of pain on his face, and... he headbutts West in the nuts!
Marcus: That worked! ShowStopper breaks the hold and West is doubled over. ShowStopper takes a few steps back, and runs at West.... big knee to the face! West falls backwards, ShowStopper already going for the cover.
REF: 1....
Bloodbath: Not even a one count. It's WAY too early. ShowStopper now pulling West to his feet, and throws him towards the corner post... West reverses, and ShowStopper hits back first into that post! remember, there's no turnbuckles, nothing. it's just barbed wire wrapped around little hooks that are on those posts. ShowStopper staggers forward, holding his back... West picks ShowStopper up and... Powerslam!
Marcus: West doesn't bother for a cover yet, he knows it's way too early. West now pulls ShowStopper to his feet, and throws him into the barbed wire! ShowStopper tries to walk forward but he's got those barbs stuck in his back and his shirt, and West runs at him... and clotheslines him over the top!
Bloodbath: West now rolls under the barbed wire and goes after ShowStopper. ShowStopper slowly getting to his feet, and West pulls him up and quickly scoop slams him back down. West now climbing over the guard rail, and... he grabs the top of it, and springs himself towards ShowStopper for a Springboard Splash... no! ShowStopper rolls out of the way, and under the ring!
Marcus: Maybe he'll find some more cool stuff to use down there! West looks up, and sees that ShowStopper is gone! he climbs back into the ring, and looks around. He's now telling the ref to raise his hand, he feels that since he can't see ShowStopper that he must've gave up and left! ShowStopper now climbing out from under the ring and sees that West's back is turned... he runs in the ring at West, and clips his knee!
Bloodbath: ShowStopper taking the low road again, taking cheap shots, but it's win however you can here tonight! ShowStopper now pulling West towards the barbed wire, and he's trying to pull West's face to the barbed wire... West resisting, and ShowStopper grabs the barbed wire and shoves it into West's forehead!
Marcus: West is bleeding now, ShowStopper pulls the barbs out of his head, and now pulls him to his feet, and throws him to the other side of the barbed wire!
Bloodbath: West has some guts not wearing a shirt in a type of match like this.
Marcus: Well we didn't really give these guys much preperation, none of these guys knew this was going to happen. ShowStopper now sliding to the outside and going under the ring again, perhaps to get something he saw down their while he was under their the first time. He comes back out, and... TRAY OF THUMBTACKS! TRAY OF THUMBTACKS!
Bloodbath: Alright! ShowStopper sliding that into the ring, and this is going to be something! West slowly getting to his feet as ShowStopper climbs back into the ring. ShowStopper walks towards West, and West hits a forearm to ShowStoppers stomach. West now picks up ShowStopper, and... NORTHERN LIGHTS BOMB INTO THE THUMBTACKS! That's gotta be it! West goes for the cover!
REF: 1......2.....
Marcus: He kicked out somehow! ShowStopper has thumbtacks stuck in his upper back, if he wasn't wearing that Ruthless shirt, I'm sure it'd hurt even more! West now pulls ShowStopper to his feet, and goes for a suplex... instead he drops forward, and hands ShowStopper stomach first on that barbed wire!
Bloodbath: Incredible! that has got to be painful! ShowStopper now falls forward back into the ring, and West goes for a cover!
REF: 1......2.....
Marcus: He gets a shoulder up! West is obviously getting frustrated, he feels he should've won it right there! West now setting him up for the Powerbomb! this'll be over if he hits this... he's positioning him over the thumbtacks! he picks him up... ShowStopper reverses with a Hurricanrana! West lands into the thumbtacks!
Bloodbath: West now with thumbtacks stuck in his back! ShowStopper getting a second wind, and now it looks like he's gonna go for the EZ Elbow! He runs towards the barbed wire, and stops!
Marcus: I guess he forgot that in order to do the EZ Elbow you need ropes! West now recovering, and runs at ShowStopper, and goes for a lariat... ShowStopper ducks! West turns around, and ShowStopper goes for a thrust kick, West ducks that, and goes for another lariat... ShowStopper catches him, and... EZ SLAM! and a cover!
REF: 1......2......3
DING DING DING
Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner... EZ SHOWSTOPPER!
Bloodbath: ShowStopper gets the win, and he advances to the second round! Elisa helping West out of the ring as ShowStopper walks to the back, and look, there's Immortal, and Konvicted Felon out on the ramp to congradulate ShowStopper!
Marcus: Alright, are you ready to choose our next match?
Bloodbath: Oh yeah. This has been good stuff so far, but I'm getting a little impatient.
Marcus: Why's that?
Bloodbath: Because no one's broken a table yet damnit! we bought like 10 new tables just for tonight, and about 25 for the Table Battle Royal on Sunday! I wanna see a few broken tonight!
Marcus: *uses the portable mic to talk to the crowd* Alright, we're ready for our third match, Bloodbath, choose our next one!
Bloodbath: With pleasure. *chooses an envelope and opens it* Oh my god... here we go, it's Kon vs Prophet!
Marcus: Oh yeah! Rick Cobbs, do your work!
Rick Cobbs: This next match is the third match in the First round of the Universal Title Tournament. It's scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit. Coming to the ring first, from parts unknown... weighing 270lbs... PROPHET!
*FireStarter by Prodigy plays as Prophet walks to the ring slowly, wearing a black cloak and full black costume with green arcane symbols of magic. He throws his cloak off and slides into the ring under the barbed wire.*
Rick Cobbs: And his opponent... from Compton, weighing 285 lbs, and representing Ruthless... KONVICTED FELON!
*Da Koroner walks out first, then Kon, holding a Barbed Wire Baseball Bat. Kon walks into the ring, and demands a mic.*
Kon: *looks around the ring* Just Barbed Wire? I say we make dis fuckin match a barbed wire/ barbed wire bat match! whaddya say nigga?!
*Prophet nods slowly*
Kon: here's tha deal. I put dis bat in tha middle of tha fuckin ring, and we take our asses out of da ring, climb over opposite guard rails, and wait until da ref counts to 10. When this mothafucker hits 10, we run, whoever gets to da bat first gets to use it.
*Kon drops the bat in the middle of the ring, and rolls out of the ring, and climbs over the guard rail, and puts his hands on it to get ready to spring over it. Prophet leaves on the other side of the ring, and does the same thing.*
REF: 1.....2.....3.....4.....5.....6.....7.....8.....9.....10!
Marcus: Kon gets over the railing first, then Prophet, but Prophet dives under the barbed wire first, and he gets to the bat first, he swings it at Kon, Kon ducks! Kon kicks Prophet in the stomach, grabs the bat, and hits Prophet across the back of the shoulders! Prophet doesn't go down right away though, but you can see a few small holes in his costume as well as a little blood coming through.
Bloodbath: Yeah, a Barbed Wire bat will do that to you. Kon now knees Prophet to the head, but that still doesn't make this guy drop. Kon takes a few steps back, and runs... swinging neckbreaker and that takes Prophet down!
Marcus: Kon knows what he's doing in this type of match. In fact, this is kind of tame by his standards. Kon now grabs the bat again, and pulls Prophet to his feet, and throws him to the barbed wire with his free hand! Prophet hits back first into the barbed wire, putting more holes in his costume. He staggers forward, and... Kon nails him in the stomach with the barbed wire bat! Prophet is doubled over again, and Kon drops the bat... and DDTs Prophet! and an early cover!
REF: 1......2..
Bloodbath: Prophet kicks out. Again, way too early.
Marcus: I don't know what it is with these guys and early covers this week, but I guess these guys don't wanna risk injury if they don't have to.
Bloodbath: Well that's hard to do when you make all matches barbed wire with tables encouraged, and hide stuff under the damn ring. Anyways, Kon now pulling Prophet to his feet, and Prophet lays an elbow into Kon's stomach, and another, and another. Kon staggers back a little bit, letting go of Prophet. Prophet now grabs Kon by the arm and throws him to the ropes... he holds on to Kons arm and pulls him back... Short Clothesline!
Marcus: A great move by Prophet, and he hasn't let go! he pulls Kon back to his feet, and sets him up for a... Vertical Suplex! Kon hits hard, and Prophet now going for that bat! Kon getting to his feet, and Prophet swings the bat... he hits Kon right in the shoulder! Kon grabs it in pain, and Prophet swings again hitting him in the kidneys!
Bloodbath: Let me tell ya, that'll turn your urine a different color in the morning!
Marcus: What?!
Bloodbath: You heard me!
Marcus: Anyways, Kon now down to one knee, he's in pain from this, and Prophet boots Kon in the face to knock him down. Prophet now putting the bat down, and picking Kon up off the mat. Prophet puts him in a side headlock, and runs... BULLDOG HEADLOCK! and Kon's face lands on the barbed wire bat! Kon is bleeding!
Bloodbath: I've never seen that before! Prophet now rolling Kon over and going for the cover.
REF: 1......2...
Marcus: Kon kicks out! and blood is pouring out of his face... Bloodbath, where the hell are you going?
Bloodbath: I'm getting frustrated here. We got tables, and tables WILL be broken here!
*Bloodbath gets up from his announce position, and grabs a table from a nearby stack. He walks over to the ring and slides it in, and sets it up inside the ring, while Kon and Prophet look somewhat confused. the crowd is silent, not knowing what to make of this either. Bloodbath now yells at Kon and Prophet telling them to "use the damn thing"*
Marcus: Alright, well Bloodbath extremely anxious to see a table broken tonight, so I guess he's going to get his wish finally. Bloodbath is sitting back down over here. Prophet now picking Kon up, and... GORRILA PRESS!
Bloodbath: *Yelling very loud* Drop him through that damn table!*
Marcus: Prophet now lets Kon fall backwards, and Kon hits face first on the mat.
Bloodbath: God damnit, if I have to put someone through a table just to see it break, I will damnit! Prophet now pulling Kon towards that table, and setting him up for a Powerbomb! yes, here we go finally!
Marcus: Prophet lifts him up... Kon starts hitting elbows on Prophet, and Prophet falls backwards!
Bloodbath: Damnit, so close! Kon lands sitting on Prophet's chest, and I think that knocked the wind out of him a bit! Kon getting up, and he pulls Prophet to his feet, and hits him with a left hand, and another, and and another... and a big right hook sends Prophet down to the mat, and Kon goes for a cover!
REF: 1......2....
Marcus: Prophet kicks out!
Bloodbath: I would hope so, have you ever seen someone pinned by a punch?
Marcus: What about the heart punch?
Bloodbath: Shut the hell up. Kon now pulling Prophet towards the table, and he picks him up, and puts him on it! Kon now setting Prophet up for a Piledriver... Prophet pulls away, and kicks Kon in the stomach, and... PILEDRIVER THROUGH THE TABLE! YES!
Marcus: Both men are down, and the ref is putting the count on!
REF: 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8..
Bloodbath: Prophet now slowly to his feet, and Kon now slowly getting to his feet... Prophet grabs Kon by the arm, and throws him towards the barbed wire... Kon reverses, and Prophet hits into the barbed wire again! Prophet staggers forwards, and Kon drops to his knees... and gives Prophet a low blow!
Marcus: Prophet doubles over, and Kon picks him up... HELLRAZOR! THAT'S IT! the cover!
REF: 1......2......3
DING DING DING
Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner... KONVICTED FELON!
Bloodbath: Kon goes to the second round! and that barbed wire is looking a little loose from all the people slamming into it. We're gonna show an extra long Goldrush Promo, and then when we come back, this barbed wire will be fixed, and we'll be ready for the last three matches of the first round!
*Golddust Promo showing all the matches that are going to take place, as pictures flash by of all the competitors, first in the Jr. Heavyweight LADDER Battle Royal, then the Tornado Tag Team Title Match, then the National Heavyweight TABLE Battle Royal, and then shows a picture of the Universal Title Brackets, then pictures of all 12 man that are/were competing for it, all set to Angel of Death by Slayer*