*Blood by KMFDM plays as Bloodbath and Marcus Williams walk out, the fans are supercharged tonight because of the two big title matches tonight, as well as the return of Shank. They get to the ring, and Rick Cobbs hands Marcus the microphone, he's looking a bit nervous.*

Marcus: WELCOME TO FRIDAY NIGHT CHAOS! It's a month away to the final show, and I know these things seem to be getting shorter and shorter, but it's not like we're charging that much for the tickets lately either so it all balances out... and we're gonna move things right along tonight with next to no commercials, just one or two as promos for the final show. It's going to be a great night tonight.

Bloodbath: That's right, because in the match I made famous, the Hardware Store Match, Jaguar, Akona, and Phobos are going to battle for Phobos' UEW Universal Heavyweight Title! It's the first time the Universal Heavyweight Title has been defended on Chaos ever, and it should be a hell of a match!

Marcus: Hardware Store matches are always great matches. Also tonight we'll have the National Heavyweight Title on the line, as EZ: The ShowStopper will face Davey Scott. Davey won the right to be here tonight by beating TNT in a towel match, where EZ threw in the towel even though TNT wasn't even sinched into the move yet. It was pretty strange alright, but Davey will get his chance to win the National Title tonight!

Bloodbath: And yet another "title" so to speak, the "title" of Ring Announcer for the final month of the UEW. Rick Cobbs here will face off against Taylor in an inter-gender match! And I'm sure Ricky's up to it aren't ya buddy?

Rick Cobbs: Uh... yeah man, Nothing to worry about...

Marcus: Alright man... and coming up next, the newcomer, "The Crazed Redneck" Billy Stark will face off against the returning Shank! Shank was put out of action for a little while thanks to AC, but he's back, and we're going to see if Stark can even compete at Shank's level. Folks, we're going to head to ringside and let Rick Cobbs kick this show off!

*Marcus and Bloodbath leave the ring and head towards the announce table, as Rick Cobbs stands in the middle of the ring.*

Rick Cobbs: Ladies and Gentlemen, this opening bout for a special Friday Night Chaos is scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit. Coming to the ring first, with his manager, Aunt Bob... from Burnt Corn, AL, weighing 290lbs... "The Crazed Redneck" BILLY STARK!

*The South's Gonna Do It Again by the Charlie Daniels Band plays as Billy Stark and Aunt Bob walk out, not looking quite as confused as normal, he's got a purpose tonight. He walks to the ring fairly quick, then rolls in, and waits.*

Rick Cobbs: And his opponent...

*Shank runs out wearing a broken pair of handcuffs on his wrists, not waiting for his entrance. The guards run out chasing him, but Shank hits the ring first, and Billy Stark attacks him immediatly, as Rick Cobbs bails out.*

Bloodbath: Shank not wasting any time here, but he's gotta remember he's almost 100lbs lighter than Billy Stark. Stark nailing Shank with hard right hands, and Shank is reeling backwards... Billy Stark now grabs Shank by the arm, and whips him to the ropes... Shank comes back, and... Stark nails him with a hard clothesline!

Marcus: two pretty diverse styles here, Shank the high flying extreme style wrestler, and Billy Stark the big brawler. Stark grabs Shank by the hair and pulls him to his feet, and now drives his forearm into Shank's back. Shank back down on one knee, but Stark pulls him right back up, and whips him hard towards the turnbuckle!

Bloodbath: Shank hits back first, and now Stark runs at Shank... SPLASH IN THE CORNER! Stark backs up and Shank staggers forward then falls down. Stark now starts stomping Shank's back as hard as he can, and Shank can't really do much about it.

Marcus: I thought Stark would be the underdog here, but his sheer size could be enough to beat Shank, I don't think Shank has faced anyone this much bigger than him yet. Stark now pulls Shank right back to his feet, and bodyslams him hard to the mat. Stark now bounces off the ropes, and comes at Shank... BIG ELBOWDROP! crushing the chest of Shank!

Bloodbath: Shank in a little pain here I'm sure, but this guy seems to love it, the sick bastard! Stark now pulls Shank to his feet, and grabs him by his hair and throws him over the top rope, and this one is going outside!

Marcus: Shank's guards are around the ring, it looks like he sorta broke free to get to the ring tonight, and they're all making sure Shank doesn't go too far I guess. Stark now climbs out of the ring, and Aunt Bob now coming to Stark's side with a chair! Stark grabs the chair, as Shank gets back to his feet, and Stark walks towards Shank... Stark raises the chair, but Shank nails Stark with a kick to the stomach! Stark lets go of the chair, and Shank grabs it and... nails Billy Stark in the head with it!

Bloodbath: Stark staggers backwards, but he doesn't go down! Shank now brings the chair back, and... nails Stark in the head with it again! Stark continues to stagger backwards... and falls backwards on his ass! that one took him down!

Marcus: I don't know if hitting this guy in the head is going to do any damage, the guy really doesn't have anything in there to damage I don't think. Shank now throws the chair into the ring, as Stark slowly gets back to his feet, and Shank grabs him by the hair and rolls him into the ring.

Bloodbath: Shank jumps up onto the apron, as Stark gets back to his feet in the ring, and Shank springs off the top rope... SPRINGBOARD FRANKENSTEINER! Stark goes down again, and Shank goes for a cover!

REF: 1......2..

Marcus: Stark easily kicks out, and that was odd for Shank, going for a cover... normally he likes to just hurt his opponents. Shank now grabs Stark by the hair and pulls him to his feet... and starts biting his forehead! look at this, he's really digging his teeth into the forehead of Stark, and you can see a bit of blood coming out now!

Bloodbath: yeah that's probably not good... but those chair shots softened him up too I think. Shank now stops biting Stark, and now kicks Stark in the stomach, and... DDT! and another cover by Shank!

REF: 1......2....

Marcus: Stark kicks out, and Shank doesn't really seem to care. Shank now pulls Stark back to his feet... Stark nails Shank in the balls with a stiff arm! Stark now grabs Shank up, and... TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER! what a move! and now Stark goes for a cover!

REF: 1......2.....

Bloodbath: Woah that was close! Shank kicks out, and Stark thought he had this one won! Billy Stark pretty angry here now, and Shank is definatly in trouble here. Billy Stark now pulls Shank back to his feet, and whips him to the turnbuckle... wait, Shank reverses, sending Billy Stark to the turnbuckle! Shank comes running in, but Billy lifts his foot up a bit and hits Shank in the stomach! Stark now climbs up onto the turnbuckle, and grabs Shank by the head... TORNADO DDT!

Marcus: That one really did a number on Shank, Shank looks like he's out here, but Stark is not making the cover... no he's calling for the Slingblade! Stark pulling Shank to his feet... and Shank headbutts Stark in the groin! Shank now all the way up, and he scoops Stark up and slams him down.

Bloodbath: Shank now going over to the corner, and he jumps all the way up to the top rope, and... MOONSAULT OFF THE TOP! and he stays on for a cover!

REF: 1......2....

Marcus: Stark throws Shank off! that was sorta close, but Stark is extremely strong still. Shank now right back to his feet, and Stark slowly getting to his feet too. Shank now kicks Stark in the stomach, and... he's setting Stark up for the Bloody Crucifix... he lifts him up... but Stark slides behind Shank! Shank turns around, and Stark nails him with a knee to the gut, and.... THE SLINGBLADE! HE HIT IT! and a cover!

REF: 1......2......3

DING DING DING

Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner... BILLY STARK!

Bloodbath: Stark is on a hot streak here! he wins another one here, and against Shank too! Shank is one of our more established stars, but I think Stark was too big, and maybe Shank wasn't even fully recovered, but either way, Stark gets himself another win!

Marcus: Yeah, but didn't the booking staff say...

Bloodbath: *sorta whispering* shut up Marc, if the fans don't know we screwed up, then it's as if we didn't screw up...

Marcus: ahem... yes, well anyway, that was still a pretty damn good match. Ok what's up next again?

Bloodbath: well definatly not a commercial, you saw Rick Cobbs run out of the ring and to the backstage area there, he's up next...

Marcus: oh yeah... well...I really don�t know where to start with this next match...it seems that the problems left in the wake of AC�s total take over of the company continue to weigh heavy on the day to day activities of the UEW.

Bloodbath: I tell you what...this is one that I don�t mind. AC�s personal intro girl, that he theived from the HCW, and signed to a long term contract came out last week and challnged Rick Cobbs for his job as ring announcer.

Marcus: It only starts there though. As the week has gone by we have learned through Taylor�s interview that she was indeed trained for in ring action by the UEW�s former Heavy Weight Champion the Main Man, AC. We have also learned through back stage conversations that Rick Cobbs really doesn�t want to fight a girl, but that this job is his life and by God he�s gonna, do as little as is necessary to win this one.

Bloodbath: Well, the announcer for this match is also a part of the ACW fallout.

Marcus: Ugh....

Bloodbath: Yep....Everyone�s favorite HCW color man turned ACW ass kisser....currently playing between thirteen and thirty games of tiddly winks in his office every day...Folks please give it up for Bowar!

*Bowar stands in the ring and gets a huge pop from the fans. His hair is gelled back tight to his head and he sports a powder blue tuxedo.*

Bowar: ALRIGHT that�s enough! As you all know I am really the GREATEST color man in the biz, but well...since Marcus Williams over there, has NO eye for talent....for one night only....Fuck man...for one match only, I am going to do the honors of introducing the two cats interested in this piss poor gig full time. So let�s cut the crappolla and get it rolling shall we.

Marcus: Thank God.

Bowar: Introducing a man that usually stands here...he�s uh...kinda...tall...sorta...well...plump...fuck...here is Rick Cobbs!!!!!

Bloodbath: Nice to see he did his home work.

*Out comes Rick Cobbs to "Stone Cold Brother" by Fat Boy Slim. He has on a black singlet with full leggins, and black converese wrestling shoes the crowd is giving him hell, while he poses down on the top of the ramp. He takes time to point to a guy holding a Rick Rules sign...consequently the guy also has on a dress....but that isn�t really our business is it?*

Bowar: And the woman with more Silicone then Bill Gates....The Tittilating Tomato, the original Twin Towers, the Woman that puts the....Never fucking mind...here comes....the hottest woman in all of the fucking universe...charted or otherwise.....TAYLOR!!!!!!!

*The Fans EXPLODE! Men all across the arena start to go wild. The guy in the dress sits down and and says "shux." Taylor has her hair pulled back tight into a pony tail, and is wearing a tight pair of high cut shorts letting her sweet cheeks dip under them. Her upper body is barely and I mean barely covered by a half cut sweat shirt with the letters "USA" on it. As Taylor walks to the ring, Bowar hops over the top rope and takes a seat by Bloodbath.*

Bowar: Wazzup guys?

Bloodbath: Nice intros. You know it only takes a minute to ask these people you know like....WHERE THEY ARE FROM.

Bowar: What? Didn�t I say Cobbs was from Canada?

Marcus: He is not....Why do you say that?

Bowar: Well at completely inappropriate times he�ll start talking about his shoes in the middle of random sentences.

Bloodbath: What the fuck are you talking about?

Bowar: He is always saying "a boot" this "a boot" that. Just like that Atkinson bastard and...he�s Canadian...

Marcus: Kill his mic please.

Bowar: I�ll get you for th.....

Bloodbath: Now let�s get to the match...you know I looking at Cobbs in there as the ref is giving them the rules....I am sure glad they decided to end this thing in a fight.

Marcus: Why do you say that?

Bloodbath: Just imagine if it was a swim suit contest...I think Cobbs might win. He just may have bigger tits.

Marcus: ANYWAY...The ref sends them to their corners and the "Taylor" chant in this place is deafening! The fans are almost entirely behind her to win this one!

Bloodbath: I would rather stand in front of her.

Marcus: Why you a Cobbs fan?

Bloodbath: Better look at the knocks from up front man.

Marcus: That was the last one...ok...the last one.

DING DING DING

Bloodbath: Out comes Cobbs looking cagey you know he really doesn�t know where to start in this one. Taylor just struts out to the middle of the ring, and....she turns following Cobbs....

Marcus: How does Taylor plan on keeping that top ....down?

*The Fans Blow the roof off the place. As Taylor lifts up her shirt right infront of Rick Cobbs exposing herself to him and half the audience....the folks at home sadly get the half breast shot from behind.*

Bloodbath: Apparently she doesn�t plan too....Cobbs is stunned....

*Bowar is picked up over Blood�s mic..."b-b-b-b-b-bBREASTESES!!!!!!!!"*

Marcus: Taylor nails the stunned Cobbs with a shot to the gut....doubling him up...she slaps on a front face lock...and there it was the ACT!!!!! Damn she almost delivers that move better then the Main Man!

Bloodbath: Taylor makes the cover....

Ref: 1......2......3

Marcus: Taylor wins!!!!!! Rick Cobbs is out and Taylor who is now up and posing down for the fans....is the new full time in ring announcer of the UEW!!!!!! I don�t believe that I saw that...hell I think I may be blind!

Bloodbath: The fans are eating this up...Taylor is up on the ring post...and all but the all important nipple is in full fucking view here....shit....I am going to take a cold shower....

Marcus: Folks...we have to go for a second....but we�ll be back in a few...more Taylor...more UEW....and more much more suprises!

*Promo for the UEW's final show, about 3 minutes long, and it quickly covers all the matches already signed, and the ones expected.*