*Blood by KMFDM plays as Bloodbath and Marcus Williams walk out. As they walk out, you can see signs such as "AC is still champ" and "Kon is just holding AC's belt" being held up. Marcus and Bloodbath get to the ring and Marcus grabs the mic from Rick Cobbs.*

Marcus: Ladies and Gentlemen... WELCOME TO WEDNESDAY NIGHT CHAOS! and what a show we got for you tonight!

Bloodbath: That's right, tonight, we start the road to the Slaughter, Spring Slaugher, our next Supercard that is! tonight the brand new tag team champs, the Pyro Technics, will both wrestle in singles action against members of the Compton Connection! First Davey Scott will take on "Big Nasty" JC Rhymes, and then in the main event, inside a steel cage, TNT will face "Tha Don Mega" Justin Funk!

Marcus: Yes, the steel cage is hanging above the ring right now, and that match should be something! Also tonight, hopefully we'll hear from the new Universal Heavyweight Champ, Konvicted Felon!

*Crowd pops, some chant "187! 187! 187!"*

Bloodbath: I don't know if he's arrived yet or not, but we'll hopefully find out his thoughts on AC calling himself the champ still. All that and more tonight, so stick around, and we'll be right back with some action!

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*UEW Merchandise: Konvicted Felon "WE$T$IDETILLIDIE" T-Shirt
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Marcus: Alright, action right off the bat this week, as we'll see Prophet vs Escobar. Escobar just arrived in the UEW, and is really looking to make a name for himself, while Prophet is trying to move up the ladder. Lets get this show going!

Rick Cobbs: This opening contest is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit! Coming to the ring first, with his manager, Chyna Doll... from Harlem, NY, weighing 245lbs... ESCOBAR!

*If I Ruled the World by Nas plays as Escobar and Chyna Doll walk out to a lot of boos. Escobar walks down the aisle yelling at the fans and threatening to hit some of them. Escobar is wearing a business suit as he always does. He gets to the ring, and Chyna Doll climbs in with Escobar. Escobar walks to his corner, and Chyna Doll pulls Escobar's suit jacket off.*

Rick Cobbs: And his opponent... with his manager, Phoenix... from Parts Unknown, weighing 270lbs... PROPHET!

*Firestarter by prodigy plays as Prophet and Phoenix walk out to a mixed reaction, but mostly cheers. Prophet is wearing his big black cloak, and black body suit with green magic symbols. He gets halfway to the ring, and throws the cloak off, then runs into the ring and attacks Escobar while his back is turned talking to Chyna Doll*

Marcus: and here we go! Prophet definatly not wasting time here, he nails Escobar with some clubbing blows to the upper back of Escobar. Escobar turns around, and Prophet grabs him by the arm, and whips him to the ropes. Escobar comes back, and... Prophet nails him with a stiff clothesline!

Bloodbath: Escobar's head bounces off the mat, and Prophet bounces off the ropes, and goes for an elbow drop, but Escobar moves out of the way! both men back to their feet, and Escobar runs to the ropes, comes off, and... cross body block!

Marcus: Escobar rolls right off, and jumps back to his feet. Prophet gets back to his feet, and Escobar runs at him with a clothesline... Prophet ducks, and Escobar goes to the opposite side of the ropes, and comes back... Prophet puts his head down, and back body drops Escobar!

Bloodbath: Escobar quickly pops right back up, and Prophet nails him with another clothesline! Escobar goes down, but springs to his feet again, and Prophet clotheslines him again! Escobar goes down, and rolls out of the ring!

Marcus: Escobar slams his hands on the apron, obviously frustrated at what's gone on so far. Chyna Doll immediatly goes to his side, as Prophet walks around in the ring waiting for Escobar to get back into the ring.

Bloodbath: Escobar talks with Chyna Doll for a moment, and now climbs back up on the apron. Prophet comes at him, but Escobar drives his shoulder into Prophet, and... Sunset Flip!

REF: 1......2.

Marcus: Prophet kicks out pretty easily. Both men back up, and Escobar kicks Prophet in the stomach, and... DDT! Prophet goes down, and Escobar now starts laying the boots to him! Escobar stomping the chest... and now he climbs out of the ring, and goes for a chair!

Bloodbath: Escobar grabs a chair, and now slides back into the ring. Prophet back to his feet, and Escobar brings the chair back... and nails Prophet in the knee with it! Prophet doesn't go down, but he's hobbling on one leg! Escobar pulls the chair back, and... nails him in the head! Prophet goes down!

Marcus: Escobar now brings the chair up, and... nails Prophet right in the ankle with it! Escobar obviously trying to set up for that move he calls Hostile Takeover, that Anklelock submission hold. He now sets Prophet's foot in the chair, and now goes to the top rope! if he does what I think he's gonna do, he's not gonna need any ankle lock, this will break it right here!

Bloodbath: It certainly will, Escobar now to the top rope, he jumps... Prophet puts his foot up, and Escobar hits jaw first into the chair! Prophet throws the chair off his foot, as Escobar slowly gets to his feet... Prophet now grabs Escobar by the hair, and... JAWBREAKER! Escobar goes down holding his mouth!

Marcus: two stiff shots to the jaw will usually do that to a person. Prophet pulls Escobar back to his feet, and whips him to the ropes... Escobar comes back, and... Prophet catches him in a gorrila press! Prophet holding him in position, and starts walking around with him! look at this strength! Prophet now lets him go, and Escobar hits face first into the mat! Prophet now rolls him over and goes for a cover!

REF: 1......2...

Bloodbath: Escobar kicks out! Prophet now grabs Escobar by the hair, and punches him in the face a couple times. Now he pulls Escobar to his feet, and whips him to the turnbuckle! Escobar hits back first, and staggers forward.... Prophet runs in with a clothesline, but Escobar ducks! both men turn around, and Escobar jumps up, and nails Prophet with a dropkick!

Marcus: Prophet staggers back, into the ropes, and falls back... and gets his arms tangled in the ropes! Chyna Doll quickly slides another chair into the ring, and Escobar grabs it up! Prophet struggling to get free, but Escobar walks towards him, and... nails him with the chair!

Bloodbath: Prophet now starting to bleed, that was a pretty stiff chairshot! Escobar pulls Prophet out of the ropes, and now drags him towards the center of the ring, and kicks him in the stomach, and... POWERBOMBS HIM! Escobar goes for a pin!

REF: 1......2.....

Marcus: NO! Prophet kicks out! Escobar arguing with the ref, and Chyna Doll yelling at the ref two, they both figure this one should be over! Phoenix now pounding on the apron and yelling at Prophet. Prophet slowly getting to his feet, but Escobar kicks him in the ribs, taking him back down.

Bloodbath: Escobar now pulls Prophet back to his feet, and whips him to the turnbuckle... Prophet reverses, and Escobar hits the turnbuckle chest first, and staggers backwards... Prophet now picks him up, and... ARMAGGEDON! and a cover by Prophet!

REF: 1......2......3

DING DING DING

Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner... PROPHET!

Marcus: Prophet gets the win here in the opening match, and we're gonna just move this right along, we'll be right back with Jr. Heavyweight Action!

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*UEW Home Video: Living Hell '99, with the Deadpool Match, and Kon vs AC in the Ironman Match
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Marcus: Ok, welcome back, we got Jr. Heavyweight action coming up, with a guy who's debuting here tonight, a guy named LSD.

Bloodbath: I'm tellin ya, I went to talk with this guy before the show, I walked into his lockerroom, and it was completely filled with smoke! if this place actually obeyed fire codes, alarms and sprinkler systems would have been going insane. This guy was going insane with the wacky tabacky if you know what I'm sayin.

Marcus: I certainly do, good thing our drug policy is about as strict as a neglective mother. His opponent, Travis Tiger, is out to prove something I'm sure. He's only had one match, and it was less than stellar, ending in a draw. Anyway, enough talk... well, I guess a little more, because we got introductions here...

Rick Cobbs: This next match is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit... coming to the ring first, from San Fransico California, weighing 220lbs... LSD!

*IN-A-GADDA-DA-VIDA by Iron Butterfly plays as LSD walks out, wearing jeans, and a tye-dyed t-shirt, with a denim vest covered in various patches. His hair is done up in a pony tail, with a red headband. He walks down the aisle doing a peace sign with one hand, and smoking a joint that the censors are desperatly trying to keep a blue dot over. LSD climbs into the ring, and takes one last puff on the joint then throws it away.*

Rick Cobbs: And his opponent... representing The Family... with his manager, Andrew Gerbus... from Charleston, SC, weighing 190lbs... Travis "Thunder" Tiger!

*Faith by Limp Bizkit plays as Travis Tiger and Andrew Gerbus walk out to a mixed reaction from the crowd. Travis is wearing very wide jeans but no shirt, and wrestling shoes. He walks to the ring, slapping hands with a couple fans, but not very many. He gets to the ring, and jumps up onto the apron, then springs himself over the top rope.*

Bloodbath: Alright, we got the lighter guys in the ring now, this should prove to be some good stuff here. the bell rings, and immediatly Travis runs at LSD... LSD takes him down with an arm drag! Travis back to his feet, and runs at LSD again... LSD with another arm drag! Travis to his feet once again, and runs again at LSD... LSD with a drop toe hold!

Marcus: Travis gets back to his feet once again, and runs at LSD again, LSD puts his head down, and Travis does a leapfrog! Travis bounces off the other side of the ropes, and LSD goes for a hiptoss... Travis flips, but lands on his feet, and now knees LSD in the stomach, and gets him with a hiptoss of his own!

Bloodbath: LSD gets right back to his feet, and Travis runs at him, and nails him with a dropkick! LSD staggers backwards, into a corner! Travis now runs at LSD, LSD moves out of the way, and Travis hits chest first into the turnbuckle! Travis staggers backwards, and LSD runs at him and nails him with a spinning back elbow!

Marcus: Travis goes down, and LSD now runs to the ropes, and comes back... and nails him with an elbow drop! LSD goes for a cover, but Travis shoves him right off before the ref can even get down for a count. LSD pulls Travis back to his feet, and punches him in the head, and again, and again, backing him towards the ropes. LSD now whips Travis to the ropes, Travis bounces off, and comes back... LSD puts his head down, but Travis stops in time, and... kicks LSD in the shoulder!

Bloodbath: LSD staggers back, and Travis runs at him, and clotheslines him over the top rope! LSD hits his face on the apron on the way down, and lands hard on the mats outside. Travis now gets ahold of the top rope, and waits for LSD to get back to his feet... LSD now slowly gets to his feet, and... PLANCHA BY TRAVIS!

Marcus: both men down on the mats, but Travis first to his feet, and now he grabs LSD by the hair and pulls him back to his feet, and throws him back into the ring. Travis now slides back into the ring, as LSD slowly gets back to his feet. Travis kicks LSD in the stomach, and... ROCKER DROPPER! LSD's face slams into the mat, and Travis now rolls him over for a cover!

REF: 1......2..

Bloodbath: LSD kicks out, and Travis only gets a two count. Travis now pulls LSD back to his feet, and whips him to the ropes... LSD comes back, and Travis jumps up... Frankensteiner... no! LSD counters with a powerbomb!

Marcus: LSD pulls Travis back to his feet, and scoops him up, and... BACKBREAKER! LSD now makes sure Travis is close enough to a corner, and now he starts climbing the turnbuckle! LSD gets to the top rope, and looks backwards, then jumps... MOONSAULT! LSD stays on for a cover!

REF: 1......2...

Bloodbath: Travis kicks out! LSD now grabs Travis by the hair, and starts punching him in the forehead repeatedly! 3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10... he now lets go, and Travis has a very little bit of blood now coming out of his forehead.

Marcus: LSD now pulls Travis back to his feet, and whips him hard into the turnbuckle! Travis hits back first, and now staggers forwards... LSD kicks him in the stomach, and... PILEDRIVER! Travis goes down holding his neck, and LSD makes another cover!

REF: 1......2....

Bloodbath: No! Travis gets a shoulder up! LSD now pulls Travis to his feet... Travis with a stiff european uppercut to stagger LSD! Travis now grabs LSD and picks him up in a vertical suplex position... DANGEROUS DDT!

Marcus: Impressive move by Travis, and LSD looks to be out cold, but Travis not bothering for the pin yet, he's dragging LSD into position near a corner, and now he's going to the top rope! he gets to the top, and jumps... SHOOTING STAR PRESS! and he stays on LSD for the cover!

REF: 1......2.....

Bloodbath: NO! LSD barely gets a shoulder up! Travis can't believe it, but now he's signaling to the crowd that he's going to end this one! LSD slowly getting to his feet, I mean really slowly, Travis now grabs him by the hair, and sets him up, this could be the Tiger Driver '69... Travis lifts him up, and... LSD starts punching Travis in the face! Travis falls backwards, dropping LSD throat first across the top rope! both men are down! and the ref is counting!

REF: 1....2....3....4....5....6....7....8...

Marcus: Travis starting to get back to his feet, LSD now getting to his feet... Travis runs at him with a clothesline... LSD ducks, both men turn around... ACID DROP! LSD hits that Superkick he calls the Acid Drop, and now covers Travis!

REF: 1......2......3

DING DING DING

Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner... LSD!

Bloodbath: Very fast paced match, and LSD comes out on top, what a way to debut here!

Marcus: Oh yeah, great match! alright, when we come back, we switch from the light to the extremely heavy, as Lard Ass will take on the Midcard Mayhem winner, Jaguar!

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*AC's Greatest Hits... COMING SOON!
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Marcus: You want to talk about mixed matches. This next one is all messed up. We are looking at easily the most agile and quick man in the league against easily the least agile and quick man in the world.

Bloodbath: But you have to say Chilly Bunns is one devastating fat ass mother fucker.

Marcus: I agree with most of that but can a guy like that fuck? Even a mother?

Bloodbath: Wouldn't know pretty trim myself.

Marcus: I can't wait to see this one! Jaguar has been on a tear as of late and I for one am excited to see what he brings to the ring with him. Personallity and mechanically I mean. This guy has so many moves, so fast so precise. It really is amazing. Bunns on the other hand has maybe three of them....one of which is dropping his ass strait onto your chest.

Bloodbath: Rick Cobbs get this started my chunky brother!

Marcus: Hey that's my job...to throw it to Rick....

*Rick Cobbs stands at the ready full tilt with a laid back attitude.*

Rick Cobbs: This match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first from Kingston Ontario Canada, at an incredible 348 pounds squeezed into 6'2" of man flesh....This is L A Chilly Bunns!!!!!!

*The roar of a small engine pushed to the breaking point can be heard above the dulcet tones of Spinal Taps Big Bottom. Chilly Bunns mammoth golf cart sends sparks flying as the bottomed out machine scrapes the hell out of the entrance ramp.*

Rick Cobbs: His opponent for the night is COMING DOWN THE AISLE AT A DEAD SPRINT.....IT'S JAGUAR!!!!!!!

Marcus: Jaguar leaps up onto that golfcart and that added weight completely bottoms out the porr machine, and the smoke starts to billow here in the arena! Jaguar as we said is a man possessed certainly looking for advancement here in the UEW and looking for what many would consider maybe a long shot against this monster Chilly. This man can hurt you, and if he gets his hands on Jag I got one word for ya...SPLAT!!!!!

Bloodbath: Jaguar standing on the tiny hood of that cart and slaming lefts and rights into Chilly's face! Chilly stands now and shoves Jaguar back off the cart....Jaguar lands on his back and rolls through coming right back grabbing Chilly by the face and slamming his head into the hood of the cart!!!! Damn!!!!

Marcus: Chilly getting up slowly and Jag like a lightning bolt to the back of the cart finds a set of clubs....Goddamn that is a real golf cart! Jaguar slams the nine iron down on the back of Chilly's head sending him rolling out of the cart and out to the floor!!!! Jag now going to the chipper....and dumping out a tube of balls!!!!

Bloodbath: The crowd is loving this there is nothing better then watching to less then fan faves cream one another! Jag takes a swing and nocks a golf ball right into the ass of Chilly Bunns!!! Then another and another!!!! HOO HOO HOO!!!! This is some funny shit right here!

Marcus: OUCH that one had to hurt that was a little low!

*The crowd blows up!*

Bloodbath: Bunns just whipped around at a speed that I have never ever seen out of him before! Jaguar was startled too! Bunns lunges and connects with a solid clothesline!!!! Jaguar trying to get back up again....and Chilly buns kicks him in the shin....then whips him hard into the ring post!!!! Damn Chilly Bunns is not happy about having his cart used against him....Chilly reaches into the back of the cart and grabs another iron....I can't tell which one...

Marcus: He takes it over to Jaguar....grabs Jag by the head and then bangs him into the post! Now he takes that iron....and my God he is bending it right around his neck! Now Bunns pummeling the mid section of Jaguar with heavy fists!

Bloodbath: Bunns getting a run....and slams his shoulder into Jaguars stomach!!!!! Boys and Girls I hope you have yoru VCRs running this could be the last we see of Jaguar in the ring ever....I mean EVER again.

Marcus: Chilly getting another run...charges....Jaguar kicks his legs up and Chilly rushes right under him shoulder first into the post!!!!! What agony that must be causing!!!! Chilly rolls into the ring...holding his shoulder while Jaguar limply unties that iron from around his neck. Jaguar is pissed and he is right intot he ring after his prey!!!!! Chilly trying to get up but Jag stops him with three sharp boots to the kidneys!!!!

Bloodbath: Rear chin lock from Jaguar....and he pulls up Chilly with it....Then hops over to the corner....looking for a rope climb into a tornado ddt....and....Chilly stops him half way around....turns and with one hand slams Jaguar to the Mat!!!! What impact!!!! I think the canvas may have been stretched after that!!!! Chilly Bunns is hurting and may be going for his finisher out of desperation here....but I don't think he has Jaguar beat yet.

Marcus: You've been wrong before. Chilly Bunns now stands over Jaguar, and... VELVETY CHEEK DROP SQUAT... NO! Jaguar gets out of the way!

Bloodbath: Jaguar luckily gets out of the way in time, and now quickly gets back to his feet... Chilly Bunns slowly to his feet again as Jaguar now runs to the ropes, comes back, and jumps... flying clothesline! and Chilly Bunns goes down!

Marcus: Jaguar now pulls Chilly Bunns to his feet, and goes for a powerbomb! he's setting him up, and now he lifts him... no! Jaguar's legs give out, and he falls backwards, and Lard Ass falls on his chest! Lard Ass falls off of Jaguar though, and both men are down! the ref is laying on the count!

REF: 1....2....3....4....5....6....7....8....9....10

DING DING DING

Rick Cobbs: Neither man could answer the 10 count, therefore this match is a DOUBLE COUNTOUT!

Bloodbath: Wow! Lard Ass couldn't get back up either because he was just too tired, and Jaguar was squashed, so he couldn't get up! well I guess the rivalry between these two is far from over!

Marcus: I'm sure it isn't, this is just heating up. Well, when we come back, we got tag team action, the NFS vs the Asylum!