*Blood by KMFDM plays and the crowd has a mixed reaction towards Bloodbath and Marcus. signs that are in plain view of the camera include "Marcus fears AC" and "Marcus better watch his ass". They get to the ring, and Rick hands Marcus a mic.*

Marcus: Calm down folks, the show ain't gonna be THAT bad tonight!

*Bloodbath whispers something into Marcus's ear.*

Marcus: Oh shit, are you all still pissed off cuz I'm forcing AC to give up the title? stop whining people, I mean, we can't have a SuperCard without having the Universal Heavyweight Title being defended! but who knows, maybe the plans will change and AC will be able to get up off his crippled ass and get a doctor's note!

Bloodbath: Uh, calling him crippled and making fun of you ain't gonna win you more fans, and the announce table is pretty close to the fans, ones that may want to rip your head off...

Marcus: Ok, well he'll be here tonight anyway, and we'll see what happens... will he bring the doctor's note that he needs? or will he be handing that title over to a new champion on March 30th? and Bloodbath, rumor has it that you're looking for two more worthy contenders for that tournament, should it have to take place!

Bloodbath: It ain't no rumor, in fact, earlier this week, I signed Justin Sane to compete in it! that leaves one more, and let me tell ya, I don't see anyone very worthy for that spot lately. In fact, I'm thinkin of throwing myself into the mix.

Marcus: Seriously? well that'd be something! well folks, we will see what happens tonight! will we have to have this tournament? or will AC be able to compete, and if so, who would the #1 contender be? We'll find out tonight! on top of that, we have 2 matches here in UEW Arena, and one taking place in Las Vegas, at one of the shittier Casinos, for the Casino match! the Bloodtron will cover all the action for the fans here, and apparently we have fans in Vegas that are there to watch the match!

Bloodbath: Wow, we barely got fans here! well, stick around, we'll be back with something that resembles a wrestling program next!

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*Promo for Bloodbath '99
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Marcus: Alright folks here we got action here now, well, sorta...

Bloodbath: Yeah, Lard Ass is on a bit of a roll here so far, but he's got quite a few rolls to go around...

Marcus: You can say that again... and the other guy is this newcomer Escobar, who said he came to the UEW for money, which makes me wonder why he came here... I mean, we're holding shows out of an old warehouse for christ sake!

Bloodbath: Yeah, really... I mean, we barely have enough money to pay for that giant screen now named the Bloodtron... you barely have enough money to pay these people's salary... in fact, my last paycheque bounced!

Marcus: Uh... we'll talk about that later... Lets go to the ring.

Rick Cobbs: Ladies and Gentlemen, this opening bout is scheduled for 1 fall, and, even though it sure as hell ain't going that long, has a 20 minute time limit. Coming to the ring first, with his manager, Chyna Doll... from Harlem, NY, weighing 245lbs... ESCOBAR!

*If I Ruled the World by Nas plays as Escobar and Chyna Doll walk out. Escobar is wearing a business suit. He refuses to slap hands with any of the fans, and says a few things that the camera doesn't catch, but if you can read lips you'd know weren't too nice to be saying to young children. He gets to the ring, and Chyna Doll takes the jacket off of Escobar, then leaves the ring.*

Rick Cobbs: And his opponent... from Kingston, Ontario, Canada, weighing 350lbs, although he sure looks like he weighs more... with his manager, Blubber Love... here is LARD ASS CHILLY BUNNS!

*Big Bottom by Spinal Tap plays, but is almost drowned out as the very overworked golfcart makes it's way out, carrying Blubber Love and Lard Ass. The engine sounds like it's straining to work under the stress of these two fat men, but it finally gets down the runway, and the crowd is laughing the whole time at this man wearing blue wrestling tights that just barely fit. He climbs out of the card, then climbs up the stairs, catches his breath, and climbs into the ring.*

Bloodbath: Jesus Christ man, he's already winded! he just climbed up the stairs! Escobar now runs at him, and nails Lard Ass with a clothesline, but Lard Ass doesn't go down! Escobar runs to the ropes, and tries it again... Lard Ass still doesn't go down! Escobar runs at him for a third time, and hits him with another clothesline... and Lard Ass goes down, and the ropes shake!

Marcus: Escobar now pulls Lard Ass to his feet, and whips him to the turnbuckle... Lard Ass hits back first hard, and staggers backwards... Escobar goes for a back suplex, and... he's able to get it! just barely!

Bloodbath: Escobar was really struggling, and he's rethinking his strategy here I'm sure, he can't power his way through this match or he's gonna tire himself out really quick. Lard Ass slowly gets to his feet, and Escobar kicks him in the stomach... that doesn't do anything!

Marcus: Why the hell would it? his stomach is so damn flabby! Escobar kicks him again, and again, and again, but I don't think it's having a whole lot of effect on the big man! Escobar now kicks a little lower, and that had some effect!

Bloodbath: did it ever! Escobar now grabs him by the head, and... DDT!

Marcus: Lard Ass goes down with one hand holding his balls, and the other holding what he calls a neck! Escobar now starts stomping his face and chest, and goes for a cover!

REF: 1.....

Bloodbath: Lard Ass shoves Escobar off of him, no way he'll beat this guy this early, he may be fat and out of shape, but still, it's way too early. Escobar now pulls Lard Ass to his feet, and whips him to the ropes... Lard Ass jumps up with a body attack, and Escobar goes down!

Marcus: Lard Ass just using his weight to his advantage here, as he should. Escobar quickly gets back to his feet, and Lard Ass whips Escobar to the turnbuckle, and runs at him... and nails a body splash in the corner!

Bloodbath: Escobar staggers out of the corner holding his chest, then drops to his knees, then to the mat. Lard Ass pulls Escobar right back to his feet though, and bodyslams him back down, then jumps up, and... BIG ELBOW DROP! and he got some elevation on that too! He goes for a cover!

REF: 1......2.

Marcus: Escobar kicks up, and he's holding his chest in a lot of pain!

Bloodbath: You would be too if someone dropped a 350 pound bag of fat on your chest. Lard Ass now pulls Escobar to his feet again, and drags him over to the ropes, and starts dragging his face across the ropes!

Marcus: Talk about dirty fighting... Escobar now nails Lard Ass with a stiff elbow to the jaw to stop him from rubbing his face across the ropes. Lard Ass reels backwards a bit, and Escobar runs at him, and nails him with a dropkick, and that sends him down!

Bloodbath: Escobar drags Lard Ass near a corner, and now climbs up to the top rope... he jumps, and... FROG SPLASH! it's like throwing a brick into a bean bag chair! and he stays on for the cover!

REF: 1......2...

Marcus: No! Lard Ass kicks out. Escobar now pulls Lard Ass to his feet, and starts punching him in the head. Lard Ass reels back from it, and Escobar now kicks Lard Ass in the stomach, that time it had some effect on Lard Ass... Escobar now sets him up, he's gonna go for a Powerbomb!

Bloodbath: Escobar tries to lift him up... but he can't! Lard Ass counters with a back body drop, but Escobar holds on and goes for a sunset flip, but he can't pull Lard Ass over... Lard Ass jumps up, and... Escobar moves, and Lard Ass lands on his ass!

Marcus: Well that looked like the Velvety Cheek Drop Squat, if Escobar hadn't of moved, that would have been it! Escobar back to his feet, and so is Lard Ass, Escobar with some quick shots to the face of Lard Ass, now he bounces off the ropes... Lard Ass catches him, and... SOVIET SUPLEX!

Bloodbath: WOW! Escobar goes down hard, and now Lard Ass stands over top of him... and... VELVETY CHEEK DROP SQUAT! HE GOT IT THERE! the ref counts!

REF: 1......2......3

DING DING DING

Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner... LARD ASS CHILLY BUNNS!

Marcus: Lard Ass improves to 3 and 0 now, and we gotta take a break here, when we come back... shit I don't know what we're gonna do when we come back! so just stay with us!

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*UEW Special: AC's Greatest Hits (COMING SOON)
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*The scene opens up in the arena's new parking garage where a certain teel Mustang rips through the back of the lot. Several people scatter out of the way as the song "Alive" by Pearl Jam can clearly be heard thumping in the cars sound system. As the Stang peels to a halt inside the giant gray garage, we cut to inside the arena where Marcus and Bloodbath look on.*

Marcus: That�s AC.

Bloodbath: who did you think it would be?

Marcus: I was hoping he wouldn�t show up. Oh God look.

*AC slams the door of his Mustang and spits on the ground as he gets out. He is wearing a black longsleeve shirt and black jean shorts, as well a larger version of his usual knee brace. His long blonde hair flows out the back of a reverse turned AC ball cap. He looks from side to side, then reaches into his back seat and pulls out the world title and staps it around his waist.*

Bloodbath: Doesn�t look like he has any doctors papers with him Marcus...Guess that means it�s your ass.

Marcus: You really think he would come out here and beat up the president of the UEW in front of all these fans.

Bloodbath: .........

Marcus: I guess your right....um....I don�t suppose you want to come into the ring with me when he comes out here.

Bloodbath: Fuck that I am retired.

Marcus: (gulp)

Bloodbath: He won�t touch you Marc I won�t let him. Now are we gonna take that commercial break?

Marcus: Uh... what? oh, yeah sure... back after this...

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*UEW Home Video: Commercial showing all of the UEW Video Products out there.
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Marcus: WHAT?!? He�s doing what......GET A GODDAMN CAMERA BACK THERE!!!!!

Bloodbath: Welcome back folks....Marcus is getting word from the back.....

Marcus: It�s that psycho AC he was just headed down from the talent locker area.....and ran across Chilly Bunns...let�s get back there and see this!!!!!

*As the scene opens up there is a large white cinder blocked hall with a blue stripe going down it. AC can be seen in a shouting match with the Lard Ass Chilly Bunns.*

Chilly: Look man I am just headed back to my dressing room....what the hell is your problem?

AC: It�s your lard ass taking up this whole fucking hall way that is my problem! You big tub of shit!

Chilly: Look champion hurt or not no one talks to me like that!

Bloodbath: Chilly takes a cut at AC....but AC ducks it....Quick kick right in the gelotounous tummy of the Lard Ass....and AC nails him with that set up move he calls the ACT!!!! a midified DDT and WHAM!!!!! AC a little sloppy on that move but when you think about a ddt, you are basically driving the persons body weight right down on their neck....and when the guy you ddt is Chilly Bunns that is a lot of damn weight. AC now hobbling a little that move may have jarred his knee.

Marcus: We have all seen AC in bad moods before....never ever anything like this!!! He just risked furthering his injury with that move. AC is in a whole other world!

Bloodbath: Where is he going now?

*AC walks down the hall and stops at the dressing room of the National Champion Phobos.*

Marcus: Uh oh....Phobos made some disparaging remarks about the main man last week basically saying that he should stand up and take this like a man....Saying that AC�s anger at giving up the title was unfounded and that he basically had no respect for the champion....What is he doing?

*AC with his back to the camera promptly unzips his fly and takes a piss on the door of Phobos� dressing room.*

AC: I could care less whether you respect me or not cocksucker, for a guy that has never bothered to step out of the mid card you sure like to run your mouth! Sad thing is that I have had groin itches with more determination then you. You suck Phobos. You just keep on being mid card for life, while the world keeps on spinnin without you. Sides hell I may just come and take YOUR title when this is all over!

*AC turns and starts to storm back down the hall.*

Bloodbath: AC DEFINETLY making his presence felt here tonite! Will Marcus feel AC�s pressence stay tuned!

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*UEW Action Figures: UEW Ring, now comes with steel cage, and AC and Konvicted Felon characters.
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Marcus: Ladies and gentlemen what you are about to see will go down in history as one of the greats on WNC! We have two of the brightest shining stars in the UEW out here for this one.

Bloodbath: Not only that but we also get to see if one guy gets to leave the building 10,000,000 dollars richer!

Marcus: That person would be Jaguar. Now as I hear earlier today backstage...Jaguar is sooo sure that he is going to win this one that he actually went out and purchased himself a brand new Jaguar car. Let's get a look at this thing.

*The shot changes to a SWEET looking Jaguar parked in the back. It is all chromed out and looking made for speed.*

Bloodbath: DAMN!!!!! That is one FINE ride! Hey wait a minute....who is that by the car....is that....SHANK?!?

Marcus: It is Shank as we all know Shank and Jaguar fought last week and Jag walked away the winner in that match....rumor has it that both men want another go around....but it appears as though Shank is just walking by....

Bloodbath: Let's hope so out of respect for the car.

Marcus: Ladies and Gentlemen this one can't be anything but a good one! Rick Cobbs get these stars out here!

*Rick Cobbs hops like a giddy school girl into the ring.*

Rick Cobbs: Ladies and gentlemen this bout is scheduled for one fall. It has a twenty minute time limit. To the winner 10 million dollars of one contestants money. Introducing first standing 6'3" and weighing in at 250 pounds this is Jaguar!!!!!

*Jaguar enters the arena to an explosive pop the fans are well aware of the show they are about to see. Jaguar slaps some hands on his way to the ring. He has a hard determined look on his face but does stop at the ringside to make the rubbing money between his fingers sign.*

Rick Cobbs: And his opponent for the evening the man who is putting up 10 million of his own money....standing 6'7" and weighing 282 pounds this is IMMORTAL!!!!!!

*"Touchdown boy" by Blink 182 thumps as Immortal comes out to an equally loud burst from the audience. Immortal takes a few seconds to produce a bag from behind the curtains containing the 10 mill. He struts to the ring tossing out a hand full of money to the aisle side fans.*

DING DING DING

Marcus: Here we go! Jaguar right out of the gate with a double leg pick up and a heavy slam right onto the mat! Jaguar stradling over the body of Immortal and going right at his face with closed fists! Jaguar is an animal!

Bloodbath: Well he certainly wants that money! Jaguar hopping right up and taunting Immortal to follow....he does....and Jaguar clotheslines him right back down!!!! Immortal rolls through right back up to his feet....Jaguar charges for another clothesline ....Immortal ducks....Jaguar into the ropes....Immortal for the high back body...Jaguar leap frogs....into the ropes again....and this time Immortal catches him and scoop slams him to the canvass!!!! WOW!!!!

Marcus: We told you fans it would be like this! Both men up quick but it's Immortal with the advantage grabbing the forearm of Jag and leading him back into the corner....Then flinging him across the ring...and smashing into the corner!!!!! Immortal with a big splash....but Jag ducks out of the way!!!!!

Bloodbath: Immortal stumbling back....and Jaguar nails him with a really high drop kick!!!! Immortal stumbles into the ropes.....and out onto the floor!!!! What an impact from that kick! Jaguar now flying up the corner....and SUICIDE dive out onto the floor!!!! What a terrible crash right out here in front of us!!!

Marcus: Jaguar getting up and getting a great reaction from the fans!!!!! Immortal has got to just be feeling that money drain out of his wallet! Jaguar climbing up the ring steps....and moonsaults off....Immortal getting up and WHAM!!!! The moonsault sends them both back into the rail! Jaguar right up and side kicks Immortal in the face as he leans up against the rail!!!!

Bloodbath: Immortal going for another side kick....Immortal grabs his foot and plants a fist right in the nads of Jaguar!!!!! Jaguar drops right to the ground! Immortal getting up slowly but a good right to the bean of Jaguar makes him a little more vulnerable!

Marcus: Immortal is grabbing a chair from behind the time keepers table....and setting it up facing away from Jaguar....Immortal gets a run....Jaguar standing and HUGE impact off the chair as Immortal flies landing feet first right in Jaguar's teeth! I hope his dental is paid up!

Bloodbath: Immortal now pulling up Jaguar and flinging him at the chair....Jaguar smashes intot he chair and stumbles to the ground mashing it all up under neath him. Immortal now climbing back into the ring...and he is getting a HUGE pop from the fans! Jaguar getting up out here....climbing up into the ring...and Immortal meets him with a nasty baseball slide!

Marcus: Jaguar Pounds back into the ropes! My God!!!! That is what this sport is all about ebb and flow one minute it is all Jaguar the next it's Immortal, folks you are watching two of the names that are making the UEW what they are, these guys along with Konvicted Felon, Shank, gag Chilly Bunns, TNT, Davey Scott are all a big big part of what makes the UEW so damn cool.

Bloodbath: That is just a few, there is also Sane, Triple E, Savage, and others man o man! And right now we are seeing two of the crown jewels go at it here! Jaguar taking a little breather on that rail while, Immortal taunts him from inside! Immortal now heading over there and Jaguar grabs his feet and yanks him out of the ring the hard way!

Marcus: Jaguar right at him with furius lefts and rights Immortal fighting back but Jag is just to fast....Immortal being led over to the ring post...and WHAM!!!!! Right into it! Immortal is...is smiling...He grabs the face of Jaguar and slams him into the post!

Bloodbath: Immortal and Jag now both a little wobbly on the outside. Immortal swings....Jag ducks....grabs the waist of Immortal and belly to belly's him right over onto his bean! Immortal rolls through and hops back up....Jaguar runs in....Immortal catches him coming scoop slaming him into the rail! Man that was nasty!!!!!! Jaguar bursts off the rail though with speed I have never seen!!!! he drops Immortal with a clothesline then goes to stomping the shit out of him!!!!!

Marcus: Jaguar drags up Immortal and rolls him into the ring...Immortal trying to get up to his feet....and Jaguar with a drop toe hold brings him down....Jag up quick and drops a knee right into the back of Immortal!!!!! Jaguar is taking this one!!!!! He pulls up Immortal again and sets up the Jungle Kill on the turnbuckle! He he...NAILS IT!!!!!!! He nailed the Jungle kill!!!!

*The fans explode....then again many fans are seen to be looking up the ramp.*

Bloodbath: All he needs to do is pin him...but wait....he....he is looking up the ramp...it's SHANK.....SHANK IS IN THE FUCKING HOUSE...AND HE HAS A JAR OF PISS WITH HIM....WHAT IS IN THERE......

Marcus: Jaguar is yelling at him....Shank isn't saying much his gaurds are following behind....Shank comes down to the apron...and sets that jar....piss filled jar as you deduced Blood on the apron.....Jaguar picks up the Jar and takes a look into it....MY GOD IT'S THE KEYS TO HIS NEW JAGUAR!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!?

Bloodbath: I don't know but Shank and his gaurds are just walking away....Jaguar looking pissed staring into the jar....but looking shocked too....Look out right behind him....Immortal is up and stalking over to his opponent....... Jaguar turns around, and Immortal picks him up, and... SPINEBUSTER! Jaguar goes down, and Immortal is climbing to the top rope!

Marcus: Jaguar slowly gets to his feet, and looks around, he doesn't see Immortal... he turns around, and Immortal jumps... WRATH OF GOD! THAT'S IT! he covers him!

REF: 1......2......3

DING DING DING

Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner... IMMORTAL!

Bloodbath: Immortal holds on to his 10 million dollars, and Jaguar is pissed off! he grabs the jar of piss with his keys in it, and heads back to the locker room, I guess he's gonna figure out a way to get the keys out without getting his hands wet... ugh...

Marcus: Shank is one sick bastard and I'm sure him and Jaguar are gonna cross paths again soon enough. Alright, we gotta take a quick break, we'll be right back.

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*UEW Shirts: Featuring Lard Ass, Justin Sane, Davey Scott, and Wednesday Night Chaos shirts.
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Marcus: Alright, here we go, with some more talking, because we don't have many matches this week.

Bloodbath: Yeah, but who's fault is that? Well, lets go to the ring.

Rick Cobbs: Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing to you at this time... THE NEW FOOTLOOSE SUPERSTARS!

*Perfect Strangers by Deep Purple plays and the lights dim. Spotlights appear at the entrance, and Chip and MooCow walk out, to lots of cheers, and some "Moo"ing. They get to the ring, and Rick Cobbs hands Chip the mic.*

CC- Now I was sitting back in my estate in New Orleans, polishing my tag team title belt when I got a call on the cell phone. President Marcus told us to fly to the UEW arena and, wait...your going to love this part. He told me that the New Footloose Superstars would have to defend our World Tag Team titles after an open challenge we made, a little while back. Our opponents, The Pyro Technix.

CC- First off lets talk about the so called "Most Explosive Athlete in the UEW" TNT. Pal, the only thing explosive about you is your mouth. I've seen more explosivness in a B movie starring that old media whore who works for the dubya-see-dubya. TNT I'll tell you what explosive is, explosive is a MooCow Dropkick to your face, explosive is the Lights Our superkick that can drop you like that *CC snaps his fingers*.

CC- Now a little bit later on tonight, he has a match agaisnt one of the up and coming stars of the UEW, Inferno. Its a so called "Casino" match, now I'm not exactly sure what that means, weither it takes place at a Casino, or this ring that looks like a Casino, either way you can bet the house that MooCow, and I will be paying special attention to this match.

CC- On to more passive things, Davey Scott for example. You challenged the NFS to a Deans match. How pathetic is that? It shows no talent what so ever. Hell you wouldnt have to actually pin the NFS, or make up give up. Taking MooCow and throwing him around, preferably out the door it what you guys consider a way to win the Tag Team Titles? Oh no no no. It ain't gonna be like that.

MooCow- MOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know ese, those loco boys from they PyroTechnix think that just cuz the little mooster is a mexican wrestling sensation, that they can jsut throw me around. Well I got some Mooing news for them, I've taken down big men before and I'll do it again. Remember the match we had with the mercanaries? How I took it too both Big Men...hell where are they now anyway? The little baby's couldnt even handle Big Poppa Moo.

MooCow- Speaking of people we haven't seen in a while, at the last PPV Bloodbath connected with one hell of a moonsault press, MOOOOOOO!!!!! Come the big Moo WILL top that move. I bet my size dosen't matter then. A Casino match? Does this Casino have a Bar? MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

CC- We are the undefeated Tag Team Champions. We've been like that since we've gotten here, and we intend to stay like that for the longest of times. You see these belts? They are ours, No other champion here with the expection of Phobos can say they've held the belts since the moment of their incarnation. So I guess that puts us in some pretty elite company. Tag Team excellence is what we are about, for almost a year now we've never been defeated, our Experience, and hell just the fact that we are more explosive will lead the NFS to victory.

CC- The most explosive team in the UEW? TNT all you are is a sparkler in a field of atomic bombs, and come this supercard the NFS are going to put you out, and as you fade into the memories of the people, and ego's we have defused, you will realise your nothing more than a little boy wanting to be something more than what he is. Davey Scott, your weak little challenge of a Dean's match hasn't gone un-noticed, hell we just dont care about you. All we care about is keeping the Gold around our waists, and we have the experience, heart and wrestling skills to do so.

*Chip drops the mic and Perfect Strangers by Deep Purple plays again as both men now walk out of the ring.*

Marcus: Alright, The UEW Tag Team Champs, the New Footloose Superstars! Alright, coming up next, I don't know what's gonna happen, because this night has been pretty unpredictable so far, with AC storming around like a mad man! so stick around!