Bloodbath: Ladies and Gentlemen, WELCOME TO WEDNESDAY NIGHT CHAOS! to kick off tonight, we will officially present this great Championship Belt to the winner of the Deadpool match... IMMORTAL!
*Touchdown Boy by Blink 182 plays as Immortal walks out to a good pop. Immortal walks to the ring slowly, basking in his glory. He walks up the steps and into the ring.*
Bloodbath: Immortal, the UEW presents you with this Championship Belt for winning the Deadpool Match!
*Marcus holds the belt out, and Immortal accepts it, and shakes Marcus's hand, then raises the belt over his head. Marcus grabs the mic now that his hands are free.*
Marcus: Immortal, let me officially congratulate you on your winning the first ever Deadpool Match. But fans, remember this, that this is not a belt that can be defended, it only has one owner, Immortal. If we make it to next year, and hold another Deadpool Match, Immortal will still keep this one, and we'll make another one.
*Immortal wraps the belt around his waist, and climbs the top rope for some more cheers. He then walks out, without bothering to say a word.*
Marcus: Alright, a short presentation to kick things off, but Immortal has better things to do, like getting ready for his non-title match against Phobos tonight! He pinned Phobos at Living Hell, can Lightning strike twice? We'll find out tonight!
Bloodbath: Another match tonight that comes as a result of the Deadpool match is a battle between Prestige, Power, and Pain members Justin Funk and Stevie Rhymes! Funk accidentally hit his own teammate, to get him eliminated. Rhymes doesn't think it was accidental, and wants to face Funk in a match tonight!
Marcus: Well, it should be a good card tonight, so folks, stick around, we'll be right back with our opening bout, Hardcore Harvey Hunt vs the debuting Lard Ass Chilly Bunns!
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Marcus: Folks I am a little embarrassed about this upcoming match.
Bloodbath: Why do you say that? Because of this Lard Ass guy?
Marcus: Well yeah we sort of signed him sight un seen, the picture he sent me with his application was a 6'5" 245 pounder in great shape, the guy that showed up was 6'2" and weighed in about 350 pounds that is friggin large man. People don't want to see that.
Bloodbath: I do, I want to see if he can even move. he he he.
Marcus: Folks this is a low point in sports entertainment right here. Rick Cobbs please let's just get this over with.
*Rick Cobbs struts his shit into the ring trying to look svelt, but coming across a little heavy in the cheeks if you pick up what I am laying down.*
Rick Cobbs: Ladies and Gentlemen this match is sceduled for one fall and has a thirty minute time limit but I will be damned if it's gonna go that long with this Chilly Bunns guy in it. Introducing first standing 6'9" weighing in at 256 pounds, from Hardcoreville....Maine...this is Hardcore Harvey Hunt!
*The fans give the Hardcore one a nice pop as he come through the curtains to his self produced theme, "Hardcore is just too sweet." Hardcore hops up on the apron into the ring, and up a turnbuckle the fans cheering, he calls out his opponent.*
Rick Cobbs: Oh boy...and here he comes his opponent, weighing, in at 350 pounds and standing 6'2" whooo, from Kingston Ontrario Canada, this is the one and only Chilly Bunns....THE LARD ASS!!!!!!!
*"Big Bottom" by Spinal Tap plays as the roar of an electric golf cart grinding itself into oblivion totes the massice Chilly to the ring. The fans are loudly laughing as the blue tighted freak bottoms out the cart and starts to slowly walk to the ring. Hardcore seems disgusted.*
Bloodbath: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I love fat guys!!!!!
Marcus: Come on big fella just get in the ring and lets get this over with. Mercy he is large! Looks like Hardcore is tired of waiting for him.....coming out through the ropes and right at the Lard Ass!!!!
Bloodbath: Hardcore lands a huge clothesline in the aisle, and that barely moved the big ass. Bunns shoves Harcore back and just keeps marching to the ring...This guy reminds me of the Juggernaut off the X-Men. Hunt coming up from behind now....with a flying knee into the middle of the Lard Ass' back and that is going to send the big man sternim first into the apron! Hardcore steps back....Bunns turns, and takes a drop kick for all his trouble.
Marcus: This is gross. Hardcore climbing up the apron and into the ring and calling ont he Lardass, who is holding his chest after that impact. Here he comes.
Bloodbath: Not the quickest guy is he?
Marcus: No.
Bloodbath: Hardcore doesn't quite know what to do with this mountain of man. coming at him with some hard slaps and chops now....Hardcore going for a scoops slam....can't hold him....Hardcore falls back with the Lard Ass landing right on top of him!!!! The ref hits the mat!
Ref: 1...
Marcus: WAY TOO much fight in Hardcore for that to do the job. Lard Ass up off the mat now Hardcore climbing up but....the Lard Ass has him by the hair and hip tosses Hardcore over and hard onto the mat!!!! Holy Crap!
Bloodbath: Hardcore looks shocked flying up off the mat....and Lard Ass meets him with a BIG right hand! Hardcore returns one, but Lard Ass too fast and grabs the hand...then flings Hardcore into the corner....Here comes big Chilly Bunns!!!!!
Marcus: Hardcore sidesteps his mamoth opponent and sends him crashing into the corner!!!! I swear to God that impact just moved the ring!!!! LardAss turns and Hardcore meets him with three rapid kicks to the head....the big man took them all with out a ripple of fat moved!
Bloodbath: Hardcore now climbing up the ropes straddling Chilly....then starts to plant fists to the face of the big mac daddy!
Fans: 1....2....3....4..5...6..7...8...9...
Marcus: WAIT Lard ass has him by the waist....and HUGE SPINE BUSTER FROM THE 350 POUND MONSTER!!!!!!! Hardcore ain't moving...and now Bunns pulls him over to the ropes...and starts to grate the eyes of Hardcore across them!!!! This is indignity right here plain and simple!
Bloodbath: Hardcore is in trouble now...as Chilly Bunns the Lard Ass picks him up....and flings him into the ropes... Chilly drops back into his own ropes...and they meet a little left of center with Chilly slamming his arms around the head of hardcore dropping him to the floor!
Marcus: This Bunns sure knows how to through his weight around! Hardcore is at his feet, and the Lard Ass flexing his well undefined dukes for the fans.
*The fans boo and chant "Lard Ass!" Bunns flips them off.*
Bloodbath: Lard Ass now with hand on the head of Hardcore!!!! LOOK OUT Hardcore with a low one under the MASSIVE gut of Chilly Bunns!!!! Hardcore right back up and into the ropes....flying clothesline!!!!
Marcus: And the big man doesn't even move!!!!! Hardcore quickly out of the ring....Bunns looks a little stunned and here comes Hardcore back into the ring with a chair!!!! Bunns takes a face full of chair but stays on his feet!!!!
Bloodbath: Hardcore starting to look desperate here!!! Takes the chair and 1...2..3....4..5. HUGE repeated chair shots!!!! Lard Ass wobbling! Hardcore into the ropes once again and....flying cross body!!!!
Marcus: He caught him!!!! Chilly Bunns caught him in the air!!!! What is going to happen out of this one....Lard Ass is sure wobbly he doesn't have a good hold! He staggers a little... and now he regains his balance, and... POWERSLAMS HIM TO THE MAT!
Bloodbath: What a fat fat man! Chilly Bunns now stands over Hardcore Harvey Hunt, and... He jumps butt-first on Hardcore's chest!
Marcus: he calls that the Velvety Cheek Drop Squat! the ref makes the count!
REF: 1......2......3
DING DING DING
Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner... LARD ASS CHILLY BUNNS!
Marcus: What a joke... but he's your winner... alright, enough of that, when we come back, it's Triple Threat action comin at ya!
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Marcus: Welcome back folks! What you are about to see is the triple threat match that has become with out a doubt the mose intense feud in the sport! Three men so Hell bent on defeating one another and proving their superiority that it is almost rediculous.
Bloodbath: The interesting thing here is that there are no titles on the line, no number one contenders spots, this thing just grew out of hatred between three men, it then has branched out to include Justin Sane perenial aggitator, as well as the returning Elite Eric Ego, definetly a top star here as well as the Jr. Heavy Champ Shank.
Marcus: Folks not only that but this match nearly started this after noon in the parking lot. We had cameras on hand and we actually picked up most of the action.
*The picture cuts to a day lit parking garage with a white sportscar with a huge Jaguar painted on the hood pulling in to the lot....Suddenly out of no where comes a black ATV smashin into the side of the car crumpling the door, and smashing it into the garage wall.*
Marcus: Look here folks driving that ATV was none other then Jack Savage, who preceded to climb out of the vehicle....reach behind the seat, pull out a fence tamper and....then climb up onto the hood of Jaguars car, and smash the tamper in through his window!!!!!
Bloodbath: Savage didn't stop there he pulled the KO'd body of Jaguar through his own windsheild and began to pound him on the hood of the car....Now watch here as Kamikaze enters the fray! Going right at Savage and tossing him off the hood of the car and right on to the hood of the ATV!
Marcus: Jaguar who was barely coming to had no time to get his hands up before Kamikaze went to work. Savage came back quick and yanked Kamikaze off the hood of the car and the two began to slug it out! And what a brawl it was neither man able to get much of a leg up in this contest.....then flying off the roof of his own smashed up car, Jaguar preceded to clean house a head butt to Savage, and a belly to belly suplex on Kamikaze broke things up in a hurry.
Bloodbath: Then party poops that they are UEW secutiry showed up and broke things up, but make no mistake folks this one is going to be a war, and it is a long way from over!
Marcus: NOT ONLY IS IT NOT OVER....IT HAS ALREADY STARTED!!!!!! BACKSTAGE!!!! WE HAVE CAMERAS BACK THERE!!!!
*A shot goes to the back where in a hallway lined with tables, and monitor equipment, Jaguar and Savage are screaming one another to bring their shit! Savage shoves Jaguar, without a warning, Jaguar leaps forward sending both he and Savage crashing into a table....The table holds and Jaguar goes to work with the rights and lefts!*
Bloodbath: We were not joking when we said how out of control this feud was! Savage is taking a beating at the hands of Jaguar on top of that trable....WHOOAH LOOK OUT FROM BEHIND FLYING IN IS KAMIKAZE!!!! KAMIKAZE'S FLYING IMPACT APPARENTLY OFF ONE OF THE ADJACENT TABLES SENDS ALL THREE MEN RIGHT TO THE GROUND!!!!
Marcus: Kamikaze is up quickly and drags Jaguar to his feet, then crumples him over with a great gut shot! Jaguar hunched over...and Kamikaze sends him face first into the concrete wall! OUCH!!!!!
*The fans in the arena are chanting "bring it out here!"*
Bloodbath: Jaguar is not getting up to fast and a boot to the back from Kamikaze will keep him down! Savage now stumbling back to his feet, and Kamikaze goes for a shoulder block....Savage side steps and flings him right into half of the broken but still up set table! Savage now on a tear trading kicks back and forth on both opponents!
Marcus: Jack Savage is on a roll and he is going over to Kamikaze!!!! Kamikaze gets pulled up to his feet, and Savage is on him alread with a kick to the ribs....then a frontface lock into a front slam suplex just obliterating all that was left of that poor table! Savage now going over to the body of Jaguar...and a viscious foot to the groin breaks that all up!
Bloodbath: Savage reeling from that, and Jaguar uses a leg sweep to cut Savage down to size! Jag now right on top of him, and what is this...a head scissors....now he grabs one of the tables busted legs...and plants it right into the scalp of Savage!!! MY GOD!!!!
Marcus: Jaguar now climbing up to his feet, and pulls up Savage with him....then whips him down the hall, where he crashes into the ramp steps behind the curtain! Jaguar turns to Kamikaze but gets a standing side kick to the face for taking so much time!
*The arena fans are loving this!*
Bloodbath: Kamikaze now dragging Jaguar out towards the ramp now too! Jaguar, stops....Kamikaze lets him go...Jaguar kicks Kamikaze in the ribs as he turns...then...OH MY LORD!!!! Face buster right onto the concrete!!! But look out here comes Jack Savage with a fire extinguisher!
Marcus: What a SPLAT!!!! That impacted like nothing that I have ever heard it was absolutely disgusting!!!! Jack Savage now stumbling up the steps and he collapses through the curtain! The fans are exploding here tonight!!!!
Bloodbath: And behind him is Kamikaze....he comes at Savage....Savage has a kick to the knee from his laid out position to offer Kamikaze!!!!! Here comes Jaguar now his head busted wide across!!!! Jaguar right after Savage for that fire extinguisher shot!!! Savage up to his feet...BUT A HUGE DROP KICK SENDS HIM FLYING OFF THE RAMP AND OUT INTO THE FANS!!!!
*ENORMOUS POP FROM THE FANS AS SAVAGE TAKES A GOOD 8 FEET DROP!*
Marcus: Jaguar has got to be kidding me....HE IS GOING TO LEAP OFF THE SIDE OF THE RAMP...NO THERE HE GOES....SAVAGE UP CATCHES HIM...AND LETS THE MOMENTUM CARRY HIS ATTACKER RIGHT DOWN ONTO HIS KNEE!!!!
Bloodbath: Kamikaze thinks the better of this and simply hustles downt he ramp....grabs Savage on the other side of the rail...and slams him face first into the top of the steel! Savage is busted open in the mouth...and Kamikaze rips him over the rail and out into the aisle!!! My god the battle each man is putting up here!!!!
Marcus: Look out there as Savage has come back to his feet and is having it out with Kamikaze....Jaguar has set up a chair....gets a run...and leaps over the rail sending the trio smashing into the rail on the opposite side!!!! No one is moving over there I personally can't see anyone walking away from this one! I mean we have seen some matches go all out! Decosta vs. Kon in the cage! Kon and AC in the Iron man match, the huge ladder battle royal to crown a Jr. Heavy champ...and now this!!!!
Bloodbath: But in all those matches something was on the line! Pride, Titles, in this one it's hatred, it's proving to two other guys that they need to shut the hell up because you are the man! Simple as that! All three men slowly rising....and it's Savage on the attack...a heavy punch to the face of Kamikaze sends him doddling to the ring!
Marcus: Savage now whips Jaguar....Jag reverses it and sends instead Savage right into Kamikaze just below the ring apron!!! Jaguar now marching to the ring, and slides right in over his fallen opponents!
Bloodbath: Savage now crawling in under the bottom rope. Kamikaze right behind this one is about to get interesting. Jaguar stomps Savage as he tries to get back in, and now pulls him to his feet, and... PILEDRIVER! and a cover by Jaguar!
REF: 1......2....
Marcus: Kamikaze pulls him off! this is one fall to a finish, none of that elimination stuff. Kamizake now goes for the cover on the downed Savage!
REF: 1......2....
Bloodbath: Jaguar pulls Kamikaze off! These two start brawling now! Kamikazi now with a good shot to the face, and now a kick to the stomach! he takes a few steps back, and runs... SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Savage now slowly gets to his feet, Kamikazi turns around... and Savage scoops him up into a fireman's carry... he throws him up, and... GUTBUSTER! impressive move by Savage!
Marcus: Neither man seems to be able to get an advantage here! Jaguar is slowly getting up now, and Savage sees this and takes a swing at him... Jaguar ducks, Savage's momentum spins him around, and... BACK SUPLEX BY JAGUAR!
Bloodbath: all three men here are down, wait, Kamizaki is getting to his feet, and now Jaguar slowly getting to his, Kamikazi grabs his arm and whips him to the ropes, and... HURRICANRANA! and he holds on for the count!
REF: 1......2.....
Marcus: NO! Savage up and he kicks Kamikazi in the face to make the save! He now pulls both men to their feet, and... DOUBLE DDT! both men are down! Savage now drags both men right close to each other, and climbs to the top rope... STARDUST PRESS! HE LANDS ON BOTH MEN! and he stays on for the cover!
REF: 1......2......3
DING DING DING
Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner... JACK SAVAGE!
Bloodbath: Jack Savage wins, and what a move that Stardust Press is! Savage now rolls out of the ring and walks to the back, and now Jaguar and Kamikazi get up, and start brawling with each other!
Marcus: Kamikazi throws a punch, Jaguar grabs Kamikazi's arm, and starts biting his forearm! Kamikazi is in a bit of pain here, and now Kamikazi punches Jaguar in the face with his free hand repeatedly! Jaguar lets go of him, and now they just start throwing wild punches at each other, and here comes security!
Bloodbath: Yep, right on time to ruin a perfectly good brawl... alright, they're breaking this up, and folks, when we come back, we got another great match coming up! Justin Sane vs Davey Scott coming up!
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Marcus: Alright, this next match was supposed to be a tag match, but the Pyros decided they needed a vacation already... so instead, the newest Pyro Technic member Davey Scott will face off against up and comer Justin Sane! Rick, you do this better, so do it now!
Rick Cobbs: Ladies and Gentlemen, this next match is scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit... and a special stipulation that the winner will be allowed to smack the looser's valet's ass 10 times with a singapore cane while the winner's valet will be allowed to smack the loosers ass 10 times with a singapore cane! coming to the ring first, with his manager, Melissa Hart-Scott... from Flagstaff Arizona, weighing 235lbs... representing the Pyro Technics... DAVEY SCOTT!
*"Don't Trend on Me" by Metallic begins to play with the lights and fireworks working along with the beat as Davey with Mel by his side begins to walk down the ramp, as they begins to shake hands with the fans. Davey in his wrestling attire which is jeans, boots, and a jacket with leather sleeves, and Melissa dressed in a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader looking outfit, but more low cut. Davey climbs in the ring as Melissa stays outside.*
Rick Cobbs: And his opponent... from Philadelphia PA, weighing 225lbs... representing the Extreme Icons, and with his manager Crystal Clear... JUSTIN SANE!
*Justin Sane and Crystal Clear walk out a good pop. Justin Sane walks out holding his Cane high in the air, to get a little bit louder pop. Crystal Clear is carrying a second Singapore Cane. They walk to the ring, halfway down the ramp Sane hands Crystal his cane, and runs to the ring, and slides in and attacks Davey.*
Marcus: And it's on! Sane immediatly goes for Scott, with a flurry of punches and kicks! and for the first time in a while Sane is fighting someone in his own weight class!
Bloodbath: that's right, but I don't think it matters to Sane! He now grabs Scott by the hair, and starts ramming his face into the turnbuckles! the crowd counts with him 5,6,7,8,9,10... Sane now grabs his arm, and whips him to the opposite turnbuckle! Scott staggers forward, and Sane runs in at him and nails him with a clothesline! Scott goes down, and Sane drops to his knees and starts punching Scott in the face!
Marcus: Wow, Sane is going at this guy like he's been feuding with him for months! why so much anger?
Bloodbath: Maybe because he's a Pyro Technic, and Sane doesn't seem to like any of these guys. Sane now pulls Scott to his feet, and whips him to the ropes... Scott comes back, and Sane puts his head down... back body drop on Scott! Scott hits the canvas, and quickly slides out of the ring!
Marcus: Crystal now throws Sane his cane from the outside, and he climbs the turnbuckles and raises his Cane in the air to more cheering! Davey Scott is outside taking a breather as Melissa rubs her man's shoulders.
Bloodbath: Sane off to a hell of a start here, and now Scott gets back up on the apron, and points to Sane, I think he just told Sane to drop the cane. Sane throws the cane back to Crystal as Scott gets back into the ring.
Marcus: both men now circle each other, and now they lock up. Sane gets Scott in a side headlock, Scott pushes Sane away into the ropes, Sane comes back, and... SUPERKICK BY SCOTT!
Bloodbath: great move by Scott, and Sane goes down holding his jaw! that was a brutal kick! Justin Sane rolling around on the canvas in pain, and Scott takes a few steps back, and runs... and drops a knee into Justin Sane's forehead! and a cover by Scott!
REF: 1......2..
Marcus: Sane kicks out fairly easily. Scott now pulls Sane to his feet, and punches him in the face a couple times, staggering him back into the corner. Scott now lifts him up onto the top turnbuckle, and climbs up with him... SUPERPLEX! that took a bit out of Scott, but he slowly crawls over to Sane and makes a cover!
REF: 1......2....
Bloodbath: Sane gets a shoulder up! wait a minute, on the outside, Melissa Hart-Scott comes from behind, and grabs both canes from Crystal Clear! Crystal turns around, and Melissa kicks her in the stomach and knocks her on her ass! Melissa throws one of the canes into the ring!
Marcus: Davey grabs the cane, and waits for Sane to get up... Davey swings... and Sane ducks! Sane kicks Davey in the stomach, and grabs the Cane away from Davey! Melissa quickly throws the other cane, and Davey catches it as Sane swings, and Davey blocks Sane's cane with his own!
Bloodbath: Davey now takes a swing, but Sane blocks it with his Cane! Sane now lowers the cane, and swings upwards, and hits Davey right in the balls with it! jesus christ man!
Marcus: Davey goes down holding onto his crotch, as Melissa covers her eyes in horror! there was nothing technical about that, but Davey will be having Technical Difficulties in the sack tonight I'm sure. Sane now throws his cane back to Crystal, but the other cane rolls out of the ring to Melissa.
Bloodbath: Sane now pulls Davey to his feet, Davey still in pain, Sane sets him up, and... LYGER BOMB! and the ref makes the count!
REF: 1......2.....
Marcus: NO! Davey kicks out, but he is still holding his groin in pain, that was a hell of a shot. Sane now pulls Davey to his feet... Davey hits him with a stiff arm in the groin! Sane goes down holding his groin, and both men are down! the ref is starting the 10 count!
REF: 1....2....3....4....5....6....7....8...
Bloodbath: Davey starts to get to his feet, and Sane now slowly getting to his... Davey now pulls him the rest of the way up, and kicks him in the stomach, and... POWERBOMB! Davey now grabs Sane by the legs, and... SCORPION DEATHLOCK! he's got it locked on good!
Marcus: Sane in quite a bit of pain here! Sane is struggling to reach the ropes here, he was fairly close to begin with, he reaches a little more... but he can't seem to get to it! Crystal now pushes the bottom rope forward, and Sane is able to grab onto it! Davey breaks the hold, but starts stomping on Sane's back!
Bloodbath: Davey not doing too bad of a job here in his first match here in the UEW, and now he pulls Sane to his feet, and whips him to the ropes... Sane reverses, and Davey comes back... Sane with a drop toe hold! Davey quickly to his feet, and comes at Sane.... Sane nails him with a Reverse Russian Legsweep! Sane goes for a cover!
REF: 1......2.....
Marcus: NO! Scott barely gets a shoulder up! Sane now pulls Scott up, and... Sane throws Scott to the ropes, Sane bounces off the opposite ropes, and both men stick out their arms.... DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! Both men go down! and the ref starts the 10 count once again!
REF: 1....2....3....4....5....6...
Bloodbath: Melissa now slides the cane to Davey, Crystal sees this and quickly slides a cane to Sane, both men get up, and simultaniously swing at each other, and nail each other right in the head! both men go down hard, and the ref starts the 10 count AGAIN!
REF: 1....2....3....4....5....6....7....8....9....10
DING DING DING
Rick Cobbs: Ladies and Gentlemen, neither man could answer the 10 count, therefore this match is a draw!
Marcus: Both men are out in the middle of the ring, after a brutal fight!
Bloodbath: Well, I guess no one's gonna do anymore hitting with those canes, it was a draw... Both women come into the ring, to try and revive their men... wait a minute, both women lunge at each other, and we got ourselves a catfight!
Marcus: YEAH BABY! nothing like two women rolling around on the mat! security better not come out and stop this!
Bloodbath: Both men get to their feet, and they're breaking this up! damn it!
Marcus: Well Scott and Sane pull their women off each other, and I guess we'll have to wait for another time for that. Alright, we gotta take another break, when we come back, we got a big one coming up, Immortal vs Phobos, non-title match!