Marcus: WE'RE BACK! Incase you've forgotten, I'm Marcus Williams, and with me as always is Bloodbath, and this is MAY MASSACRE 1999!

Bloodbath: Oh it's gonna be a spectacular night tonight! In our main event tonight, Phobos and Akona will wrestle to unify the Heavyweight Championship, Phobos being the UEW Universal Champ, and Akona is the ACW Heavyweight Champ. That is gonna be a hell of a match right there.

Marcus: And speaking of hell, you can see the cage, and the ring hanging above us, and the bar set and the juke box and tables and stuff, so lets get this started, the 4 man Late Night Bar Fight! Rick, it's great to have you back, so take it away!

Rick Cobbs: Ladies And Gentlemen... it's great to be back! Alright, this match is a 4 WAY DANCE, LATE NIGHT BAR FIGHT! It is scheduled for one fall to a finish, not Eliminations. Coming to the, uh... big area where the ring used to be, first... from Burnt Corn, AL, weighing 290lbs... "THE CRAZED REDNECK" BILLY STARK!

*"The South's Gonna Do It Again" by the Charlie Daniels Band plays as Billy Stark and his manager, Aunt Bob, stumble out of the curtain, and look around at all the fans in the arena, sorta with a surprised expression on their faces. They continue walking down the ramp, as the fans just clap, not really knowing anything about this guy. They get to where the ring used to be, and the ref tells Aunt Bob that she has to leave. She hesitates, but finally does.*

Rick Cobbs: And contestant #2... from Brooklyn, New York, weighing 347lbs... DEATHROW!

*Sairin Through My Rearview By Tupac f/ Outlaws plays as Deathrow walks out wearing baggy shorts and a NY Yankees Jersey. the fans boo this guy, but he doesn't really seem to care, he just walks down the ramp and towards this mess of various things you'd find in a bar. He gets there, and waits.*

Rick Cobbs: And contestant #3... from parts unknown... weighing 270lbs... PROPHET!

*firestarter by prodigy plays as Prophet and Phoenix walk out to a mixed reaction. Prophet tells Phoenix to go back, and she does willingly. Prophet walks down the aisle, not wearing his big cloak, just his wrestling gear. He walks down the aisle looking around at all the stuff, and the cage above him. He gets there, and waits like everyone else.*

Rick Cobbs: And contestant #4... from Brooklyn, New York, weighing 275lbs... KILLER KID!

*Dope Show by Manson plays as Killer Kid walks out, still wearing his dress, even though you can tell he doesn't want to wear it. He walks to the ring as some fans laugh, while others boo. He The cage starts to lower as he walks into the area. The cage completely lowers, and the bell rings.*

Marcus: Alright, and this one is on! Prophet locking up with Killer Kid, and Billy Stark locks up with Deathrow. Deathrow grabs Stark by the arm, and whips him to the cage! Stark runs face first into the cage, staggers back a bit, then falls down.

Bloodbath: Killer Kid and Prophet brawling over on the other side of the cage here, just throwing rapid lefts and rights at each other. Killer Kid now with a solid right hand, which makes Prophet reel backwards a bit. Killer Kid now scoops up Prophet, and slams him down on the mats.

Marcus: as you can see the mats are still there, but the area where the ring used to be has no mats, it's just concrete, and the cage extends all the way to the guardrails. Killer Kid now grabs one of those bar tables, and holds it like a battering ram! Prophet gets back up, and Killer Kid runs at him... and nails him in the face with the table!

Bloodbath: Prophet goes down, and now Killer Kid turns and focuses on Deathrow and Billy Stark. Killer Kid runs at the two... and nails Stark in the head with the table! Deathrow just walks away from this, and goes after Prophet who's slowly getting to his feet.

Marcus: Killer Kid drops the table now, as Deathrow walks over towards Prophet... and Prophet nails him in the stomach with a kick! Prophet now grabs Deathrow by the shorts and jersey, and... throws him head first into the steel cage! Deathrow hits the cage and goes down.

Bloodbath: Killer Kid on the other side now stomping Billy Stark, and now he pulls him back to his feet. Killer Kid drags him over to where the bar set is, and goes to slam his face into the top of the bar... Stark blocks it! Stark now grabs Killer Kid's hair, and slams him face first into the bar! Killer Kid stumbles backwards then falls on his ass.

Marcus: Prophet now walking over to where there's a bunch of pool cues leaning on the cage, and he grabs one. Deathrow is back on his feet, and walking towards Prophet... and Prophet drives the pool cue into Deathrow's stomach! Prophet now grabs the end of the cue with both hands... and smashes Deathrow in the back with it! and the cue breaks!

Bloodbath: Pool cues aren't exactly the easiest thing to break in two, but Prophet does it over Deathrow's back. back over on the other side here, Stark is punching Killer Kid in the face, and now he grabs him by the arm, and whips him towards the bar... Killer Kid runs into it, and flys over the top of it and lands behind it!

Marcus: Stark looking pretty pleased with himself here, as he now walks over to the bar, and looks down... and gets hit the face with a bottle! Stark falls backwards, holding his face, which is now bleeding, and Killer Kid stands up holding a broken whisky bottle!

Bloodbath: Welcome to the UEW Billy Stark! Killer Kid busted that bottle on Stark's face, and you can see blood coming out of Stark's cheek. Wait, over on the other side there Prophet nailed with a low blow by Deathrow! Prophet goes down!

Marcus: Deathrow pulls Prophet right back to his feet, although I don't think Prophet wants to get back up right away here... Deathrow now drags him over to one of the tables, and slams his face into it! Prophet's head snaps back, and Deathrow now scoops him up, and... bodyslam on the concrete!

Bloodbath: even a simple move like a bodyslam hurts like hell when it's done on Concrete. back on the other side Killer Kid now on top of Stark, punching him in the face. Stark trying to cover up, but it doesn't look like he can. Killer Kid now gets off him, and grabs a bar stool... Stark slowly tries to get back to his feet, and... Killer Kid swings the bar stool and nails Stark with it in the back! the stool cracks, but doesn't completely break, and Stark goes right back down. Killer Kid goes for the cover!

REF: 1......2...

Marcus: Deathrow over from the other side and he kicks Killer Kid off of Stark. Killer Kid gets up, and shoves Deathrow away... Deathrow nails Killer Kid in the face with a hard right hand! Killer Kid reels backwards, and Deathrow grabs Killer Kid by the hair and drags him over to where the cage is... and throws him into it! Killer Kid hits face first, then spins around and staggers forward, and Deathrow sets him up... VERTICAL SUPLEX ON THE MATS!

Bloodbath: That was close, Killer Kid almost landed on the concrete, and I think Deathrow is kinda mad that he didn't. Prophet over to where Stark is now, as Stark is slowly getting to his feet... Prophet grabs Stark by the hair, and pulls him up onto the bar. Stark tries to punch Prophet, but Prophet ducks, and now grabs Stark, and... THROWS HIM THROUGH THE BIG MIRROR!

Marcus: The Mirror shatters, and Stark is laying there motionless, this is no way to start your career in any federation! Prophet now jumps off the bar, and leaves him laying there.

Bloodbath: I guess he figures he's eliminated one person now, and he's gonna now go for the others. Over where the Jukebox is, Deathrow now kicks it over, so it's laying on it's back. Killer Kid is back up, and he slowly walks over to where Deathrow is... Deathrow turns around, and Killer Kid meets him with a kick to the stomach, and sets him up... KILLER BOMB ONTO THE JUKEBOX!

Marcus: Yet another Jukebox destroyed, I mean sure it's not really real, just some coloured glass and plastic put together to look like a jukebox, but still! Deathrow doesn't look like he'll be getting up anytime soon, and Killer Kid looks fairly happy here, as he looks at his handywork.

Bloodbath: Well he better turn around, Prophet is standing right behind him and he doesn't even notice! Killer Kid turns around... and he's met with a JAWBREAKER! Killer Kid goes down holding onto his mouth!

Marcus: Prophet now kicks Deathrow off the bashed up Jukebox, and pulls Killer Kid back to his feet... Killer Kid nails Prophet with a low blow! Killer Kid now stands up, and... KILLER BOMB ONTO THE DESTROYED JUKEBOX! Prophet is out now too!

Bloodbath: Killer Kid could probably get the win right here, but he's not! instead he's going back for Billy Stark, I think Killer Kid wants to Killer Bomb all three of these guys, but I mean, comeon, Stark is already out of it, he's barely moving as it is! Killer Kid now walks over to where Stark is, and he grabs him by the hair and pulls him to his feet, and now starts dragging him towards that mangled Jukebox!

Marcus: Killer Kid is gonna try and kill this kid on his first night in the UEW I guess... Killer Kid now kicks Prophet off the Jukebox, and sets Stark up... he lifts him up... and Stark starts nailing Killer Kid in the forehead with punches! quick right hands, and Killer Kid looses his balance, and falls backwards... dropping Stark face first onto a table!

Bloodbath: All 4 men are down here, and the ref doesn't know what to do here! now he starts making the count, and I guess we could see a Quadruple countout here!

REF: 1....2....3....4....5....6....7..

Marcus: Killer Kid slowly getting back to his feet here, so are Prophet and Deathrow, very slowly... and so is Stark! how the hell is he getting up!?

Bloodbath: I have no idea! Killer Kid with his back turned to him though, focusing on Prophet and Deathrow who are fighting each other now... Stark grabs Killer Kid by the back of the hair, and sets him up in a pumphandle... PUMPHANDLE BACKBREAKER! He calls that the Slingblade! and the cover!

REF: 1......2......3

DING DING DING

Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner... "THE INSANE REDNECK" BILLY STARK!

Marcus: I don't believe it! He actually won after that beating he took, and Deathrow and Prophet didn't even realise someone was making a cover! They're both pretty pissed off over that, as the cage raises now and Prophet and Deathrow both leave while Killer Kid slowly gets back up, and Billy Stark is jumping up and down with a huge smile on his face.

Bloodbath: Well it's a great feeling when you win your first match in any organization, especially after something like that!

Marcus: Alright, as the guys clear the debris out of here, and lower the ring back down here, we'll show you some clips here about this next match, Lard Ass Chilly Bunns vs Ring King.

---Clip #1 from last weeks ACNC---
Tim: it certainly does the trick though... wait a minute, here comes Ring King, formerly the second Lard Ass... he runs to the ring, with a chair in hand... Chilly Bunns turns as Ring King gets on the apron, and... RING KING NAILS CHILLY BUNNS WITH THE CHAIR! Bunns goes down hard, and MooCow rolls over and draps an arm over him and makes the cover! the ref slowly up, and he makes the count!

REF: 1.........2..........3

DING DING DING

Taylor: Here's your winner... SUPER LUCHA MOOCOW!
---End Clip---

---Clip #2 from last weeks ACNC---
Bowar: No, RK kicks up in time! Chip back to his feet, and so is RK... Chip now grabs RK, and he tries for that belly to belly suplex... but he can't lift RK! RK now grabs Chip, and... BELLY TO BELLY OF HIS OWN! wait... Lard Ass slowly making his way to the ring here, what the hell does he want here?

Tim: Revenge perhaps? Lard Ass actually making good time here, I guess when he's motivated, he can move! Lard Ass to ringside, as RK now runs to the ropes... Lard Ass grabs RK's foot! RK falls down, and the ref now yelling at Lard Ass and telling him to get out of here, as RK now slowly gets to his feet, and turns around... Chip back up, and... LIGHTS OUT! HE HITS IT! and a cover by CHIP!

REF: 1......2......3

DING DING DING

Taylor: Here's your winner... CHIP COLLINS!
---End Clip---

Bloodbath: This one has really heated up over the last week, and these two huge men are about to collide, so lets go to Rick Cobbs to start this one up.

Rick Cobbs: This next match is scheduled for one fall, with a 20 minute time limit... coming to the ring first, from St. Louis, weighing 320lbs... RING KING!

*Ring King throws the curtains open, and swiftly walks to the ring, slapping hands with a few fans, but for the most part just quickly making his way to the ring. He gets there, and jumps up on the apron, then jumps over the top into the ring.*

Rick Cobbs: And his opponent... from Kingston, Ontario, Canada, weighing 348lbs... LARD ASS CHILLY BUNNS!

*Big Bottom by Spinal Tap plays as the Golf Cart slowly makes it's way through the curtain, and down the ramp. The Cart is still painted in the Synchronized Swimmers colours, but Lard Ass has spray-painted "Lard Ass" on the hood. Lard Ass finally gets to the ring, and climbs out of the cart, then climbs up the steps and into the ring.*

Marcus: The bell sounds, and both these men run at eachother... and slam into each other! neither man even budges! Ring King looks at Lard Ass, and Lard Ass looks at Ring King, and now both men run to the ropes again, come back... and run into each other again, and again neither man goes down!

Bloodbath: These two men are huge, that's a total combined weight of 668lbs in there... Lard Ass quickly now grabs Ring King's arm, and whips him to the ropes... Ring King comes back, and Lard Ass nails him with a clothesline, but it doesn't take Ring King down! Ring King now grabs Lard Ass's arm, and whips him to the ropes... Lard Ass comes back, and Ring King nails him with a clothesline, but Lard Ass doesn't go down!

Marcus: These two trying to use their size here to knock each other down, but neither can do it! Ring King now punches Lard Ass in the head, and scoops him up... and Slams him down!

Bloodbath: That's one way to do it, as Ring King now jumps up in the air, and... Splash... no! Lard Ass rolls out of the way, and Ring King lands stomach first on the mat!

Marcus: Lard Ass gets back to his feet, and Ring King slowly gets to his... Lard Ass grabs Ring King by the arm, and whips him to the corner. Ring King hits back first, and Lard Ass comes running in after him... AVALANCHE... NO! Ring King moves out of the corner, and Lard Ass hits chest first into the turnbuckle! Lard Ass stumbles backwards, and Ring King runs at him and clotheslines him down!

Bloodbath: Lard Ass down again, and Ring King now walks over beside him, and jumps up... ELBOW DROP! he nails Lard Ass with that one, that's 320lbs coming down on Lard Ass's chest! and a cover by Ring King!

REF: 1......2..

Marcus: No, Lard Ass kicks out, it's way too early for a pin. Ring King now pulls Lard Ass back to his feet, and whips him to the ropes... Lard Ass comes back, and Ring King goes for a clothesline, but Lard Ass ducks! Lard Ass hits the opposite ropes, and comes back... and nails Ring King with a vader attack! Ring King goes down!

Bloodbath: Lard Ass really using his size there to knock Ring King down. Lard Ass now pulls Ring King right back up, and whips him to the ropes... Ring King comes back, and... POWERSLAM BY LARD ASS! And a cover!

REF: 1......2...

Marcus: Ring King kicks out! Lard Ass pulls Ring King right back up though, not wasting any time here, he scoops Ring King up, and slams him down! Lard Ass now runs to the ropes, and comes back, and jumps up.... BIG SPLASH! 348lbs coming down on Ring King, I don't care who you are you're gonna feel that!

Bloodbath: Ring King curls up holding his ribs, that was brutal right there, as Lard Ass gets off of him. Lard Ass now starts stomping on the chest of Ring King, really working on trying to hurt the slightly smaller guy.

Marcus: Lard Ass now pulls Ring King back to his feet... Ring King nails Lard Ass with an elbow in the gut! and another! and another! Lard Ass staggers back a bit, and now Ring King scoops Lard Ass up, and slams him down, and he's headed to the top rope!

Bloodbath: Ring King extremely agile for his weight, and I don't know what we're gonna see here... He climbs up to the top here, and jumps... MOONSAULT! He hit it, and Ring King stays on for the cover!

REF: 1......2....

Marcus: No! Lard Ass kicks up, and that was an extremely close one right there! Ring King now pulls Lard Ass back to his feet, and sets him up... T-BONE SUPLEX! That's a lot of weight to do that move to, but he did it!

Bloodbath: incredible strength shown by Ring King, as Lard Ass now rolls out of the ring, and he's going for a chair here. Ring King runs at the ropes, and jumps as Lard Ass turns around... PLANCHA! the chair Lard Ass was holding was just sandwiched between Lard Ass and Ring King, and that took a lot out of both men here! neither man getting up, and the ref is gonna start counting these guys out!

REF: 1....2....3....4....5....6....7...

Marcus: Ring King back to his feet, and he grabs the chair out of Lard Ass's hands, and throws it into the ring. Lard Ass slowly back to his feet, and Ring King grabs him by the mask and throws him back into the ring. Ring King follows him in, and grabs the chair!

Bloodbath: Lard Ass slowly to his feet, and Ring King swings the chair... Lard Ass catches it! He pulls it away from Ring King, and swings it at him... and nails him in the forehead with it! Ring King goes down, and now... am I seeing this right? Lard Ass is climbing the ropes!

Marcus: Lard Ass with the chair in his hand, and you're right, he's climbing to the top! Lard Ass slowly climbing up, he now gets to the top, and holds the chair on his stomach, and jumps... BIG SPLASH OFF THE TOP WITH THE CHAIR! He crushes Ring King with that move, and now neither man are getting up from that one! the ref is counting again!

REF: 1....2....3....4....5....6....7....8...

Bloodbath: Lard Ass slowly up, and now he pulls Ring King up with him... Ring King nails him with a right hand to the face! Lard Ass staggers back, and now he nails Ring King with a right hand of his own! both men now slugging away at each other... wait, both men bring their heads back, and... DOUBLE HEADBUTT! both men thinking the same thing, and both men go down hard! the ref starts counting again!

REF: 1....2....3....4....5....6....7....8....9....10

DING DING DING

Rick Cobbs: Ladies and Gentlemen, neither men could answer the 10 count, therefore this match is a DOUBLE COUNTOUT!

Marcus: Well both these men are just now very slowly moving, both rolling out of the ring, this doesn't look good, both these men probably just gave each other a mild concussion. You can see that Ring King's eyes aren't fully open, and neither are Lard Ass's, but both men are very slowly walking to the back, as the paramedics come out now, and they're gonna help these guys, because both of them look like they're about to pass out.

Bloodbath: Yeah you're right these two look to be injured pretty bad here, as 2 paramedics for each guy now help Lard Ass and Ring King walk back, I'm sure they're gonna have to get checked on while they're back there.