AC: I hate Marcus Williams. Some people think that on the other side of the ring he and I are really chummy and that I get my pushes and such out of that friendship. Fuck that. Marcus Williams is a self promoting self motivated peice of human shit. The saddest day in the history of this whole sport is the day that his dad decided NOT to pull out early. This is not the first time that I have been screwed out of a world title that is rightfully mine. Almost a year ago to the day. March Madness. I was in the finals for the NEW world title which as many of you know is the title that this fed now refers to as the Universal Heavy Weight Championship. In that match Williams and the only man that can rival Williams position as the Biggest Cock Sucker On the Planet Jefferson Atkinson, along with the man that sits out by Williams every damn Wednesday...the one and only Bloodbath conspired to take me out of the title picture, supposedly to put me into the top contenders spot to the NWF's world title that Bloodbath held at the time.
*AC shifts a little his eyes unyeilding.*
AC: I never did get that title, and in what was the opening of one of the GREATEST feuds in the history of this sport the night after dropping that title to Atkinson's hand picked succesor, Nomad, Bloodbath and I went at it in what was to be Bloodbath's retirement match, in an act of PURE SELFLESSNESS, I laid down on the mat with my eyes to the lights and let Bloodbath have the satisfaction of pinning me. He came back, and the last time we met I beat him. Blood and I will meet again one day. It's one and one and one Blood, and some one's gotta win. Hell the longer we take to settle it the less it favors you you fucking fossil. As for Williams last week he did it again. Got out the KY and tooled me like a bitch. Marcus Williams I will follow your little rule, I will hand over my world title to the winner. Sad thing is that it will always be refered to as the title I handed the winner, and not the title they BEAT AC FOR! Marcus Williams, Bloodbath, and Jeff Atkinson, all for their own benefits have used me and tossed me aside more then a pinch hitter on a losing base ball team. Williams you are looking at the only champion you will EVER have. I don't lose singles matches, Shit I can't remember the last time I actually lost a singles match. I think it was to Bloodbath. The only time before that was the three table match...the NEW title....that Marcus screwed me out of. Now it's the UEW, it's the same guy gettin screwed it's the same guy doin the screwin! Thing is Marcus I told you the last time that I was going to make your damn life hell, well this time I have the stroke to make it happen....and I am going to. I am the nastiest bastard in the UEW, and No one can ever strip me of that, and after Bloodbath....everyone is going to know what I am talking about....hell anyone that saw my last three appearences in the HCW knows EXACTLY what I am talking about.
*AC shuts his eyes and leans back onto the locker. He smiles a little, then chuckles.*
AC: heh heh....Marcus knows what I am talking about.....if he don't he sure as hell is going to find out. heh heh heh.
*AC takes a sip of a bottle of water and the scene fades.*
Narrator: Tonight, the second ever UEW Heavyweight Champion will be crowned... will it be Justin Funk, who recently turned his back on his friends to join new ones?
*a quick shot of The Compton Connection beating down Stevie Rhymes*
Narrator: Perhaps it will be Kon, who has had 2 other chances to win this title in the past...
*2 quick shots of Kon getting pinned by AC flash across the screen*
Narrator: Or maybe it will be the up and comer Justin Sane, who has come into his own recently...
*quick shots of Justin Sane getting wins over a bunch of wrestlers.*
Narrator: Or perhaps it will be the man this event is named for... could Bloodbath win his first meaningful title in more than a year? we'll find out TONIGHT, at BLOODBATH '99!
*Bloodbath '99 Logo flashes across the screen, then explodes into a shot of 7000 screaming fans in the UEW arena, all jumping around trying to get their signs on camera. The shot then goes to Marcus Williams and Bloodbath, dressed in his wrestling gear, sitting at the announcer's table.*
Marcus: WELCOME TO BLOODBATH '99! I'm Marcus Williams and sitting beside me as always tonight is Bloodbath, at least for all but one match, perhaps even two!
Bloodbath: That's right, tonight I got my shot at winning the Universal Heavyweight Title. But It'll be tough, because my first match is against Justin Sane, and this guy has been red-hot as of late, racking up quite an impressive win-loss record.
Marcus: The other first round match will be Justin Funk vs Konvicted Felon, both those matches will happen shortly, but you can see that the ring is surrounded by tables, so lets go to Rick Cobbs to kick things off tonight.
Rick Cobbs: Ladies and Gentlemen, this opening contest is the MIDCARD MAYHEM TABLE BATTLE ROYAL! to eliminate a wrestler you must put them through a table, and if you accidentally go through a table, then you are eliminated yourself. Coming to the ring now are the participants in this match... "THE KANSAS KAMIKAZI" NICHOLAS HARRIS! JAGUAR! LOVERMAN! LARD ASS CHILLY BUNNS! KILLER KID! Representing The Family, CAM "THE MACHINE" KIRBY! ESCOBAR! PROPHET! representing the Dark Alliance... HUNTER! and representing the Extreme Icons... "HOLLYWOOD" CARL ALDRICH!
*9 of the 10 men walk out, then Lard Ass comes driving in on his golf cart. They all climb into the ring, and wait for the bell.*
DING DING DING
Marcus: And here we go! Jaguar and Harris go at each other, Loverman goes after Carl Aldrich, Hunter goes after Prophet, Escobar attacks Lard Ass, and Killer Kid goes for Cam Kirby! Loverman and Carl Aldrich slugging it out in the corner, Lard Ass gets away from Escobar for a second, and runs... and splashes both Aldrich and Loverman in the corner!
Bloodbath: Lard Ass is a fat fat man, and he's going to be hard to eliminate. Escobar comes up from behind Lard Ass and hits him with a double axehandle to the back. Lard Ass staggers forward, then turns around, and Escobar dropkicks him, knocking Lard Ass to the ground!
Marcus: Over on the other side of the ring Jaguar grabs Harris's arm, and starts biting into it! Harris has a look of pain on his face and Jaguar isn't letting go! Harris now uses his free hand to punch Jaguar in the face, and Jaguar stops biting him!
Bloodbath: meanwhile Hunter and Prophet are brawling near the ropes, Prophet nails Hunter with a right hand, and another, and goes for a clothesline... Hunter ducks, and Prophet's momentum makes him fall over the top rope, and land on the apron! Hunter now grabs Prophet by the hair, and nails him with a right hand... Prophet staggers, and... he could fall through the table... Hunter goes to push Prophet, but Prophet grabs onto his hand, and rams his shoulder in Hunter!
Marcus: Close one there, he could have lost right then! Prophet grabs Hunter by the hair, and rams his head into the turnbuckle! Prophet climbs back in the ring. Wait, over on the other side of the ring Killer Kid is on the apron, and he pulls Loverman through the ropes with him, and... KILLER BOMB OFF THE APRON THROUGH A TABLE!
Rick Cobbs: Loverman has been ELIMINATED!
Bloodbath: Killer Kid eliminates Loverman, and we're off to a hell of a start so far! over near the left side of the ring Cam Kirby punches Carl Aldrich in the face, and Carl staggers to the corner... Cam Kirby now climbs up and starts punching Carl in the face! 1,2,3,4,5,6... wait a minute, Jaguar from behind shoves Cam Kirby over the top rope, and he goes through a table!
Rick Cobbs: Cam "The Machine" Kirby has been ELIMINATED!
Marcus: Cam Kirby is gone, and Jaguar turns around... and gets nailed by Nicholas Harris with a spinning heel kick! meanwhile Hunter and Prophet are still fighting, but right now they're on the apron! both men go for hard rights, and both men nail each other! both men stagger back, and... fall onto tables, and the tables break!
Rick Cobbs: Hunter and Prophet have both been ELIMINATED!
Bloodbath: guys are dropping like flys here, and we're down to 6! Jaguar and Harris are fighting in one corner, Killer Kid and Lard Ass in another, and Carl Aldrich and Escobar are brawling in the middle of the ring. Lard Ass whips Killer Kid to another corner, and runs in at him... AVALANCHE!
Marcus: Killer Kid goes down holding his ribs! wait, Jaguar throws Harris over the top rope, and Harris hits a table... but the table doesn't break! Harris is lucky right there, he bounced off the table to the floor.
Bloodbath: Yeah, he's really lucky, instead of being eliminated, he's got bruised kidneys!
Marcus: Ok so it isn't THAT lucky... anyway... he's not eliminated yet, as Jaguar slides out of the ring and continues attacking Harris. Back in the ring, Carl Aldrich and Escobar are still going at it, Escobar now whips Carl Aldrich to the ropes, Aldrich comes back, and... Escobar puts his boot into Aldrich's stomach, and DDT's him!
Bloodbath: Lard Ass sees Aldrich is down, and runs at Escobar, and nails him with a clothesline! he now walks over to Aldrich, and... BIG SPLASH! Aldrich holds his ribs in pain as Lard Ass stands up, pulls Aldrich up, and throws him out of the ring, onto a table. Lard Ass now climbs out onto the apron, and jumps... and Splashes Aldrich through the table!
Rick Cobbs: "Hollywood" Carl Aldrich has been ELIMINATED!
Marcus: and now there's 5! Lard Ass is down hurt on the ground though, I don't think he expected this to happen! in the ring, Killer Kid pulls Escobar to his feet, and whips him to the turnbuckle... Escobar hits back first, and staggers forward... Killer Kid runs in at him, and nails him with a hard clothesline!
Bloodbath: Back outside, Jaguar pulls Harris back up on to the apron, and now punches him in the stomach, and sets him up on the top rope! Jaguar climbs up on the top rope with Harris, and sets him up... JUNGLE KILL OFF THE TOP THROUGH A TABLE!
Rick Cobbs: "The Kansas Kamakazi" Nicholas Harris has been ELIMINATED!
Marcus: 4 guys are left, and Lard Ass is finally getting to his feet, but Jaguar isn't really getting up too fast either... Lard Ass rolls into the ring, and Killer Kid immediatly starts stomping him. Lard Ass slowly to his feet, and Killer Kid grabs him by the hair, and whips him to the ropes... Lard Ass comes back, and Killer Kid puts his boot into Lard Ass's face! Lard Ass staggers backwards, but doesn't go down! Escobar looks at Lard Ass, and runs at him for a clothesline... No! Lard Ass catches him with a side slam!
Bloodbath: Escobar is down, and Lard Ass gets back to his feet, and Killer Kid runs at him and knocks him down with a clothesline! Jaguar now getting back to his feet, and he slides into the ring, and levels Killer Kid with a jumping clothesline! Escobar getting back to his feet, and Jaguar punches him in the face, and throws him through the ropes out of the ring!
Marcus: Jaguar slides out of the ring, as Escobar gets back to his feet... Jaguar now kicks Escobar in the stomach, and... POWERBOMBS HIM THROUGH A TABLE!
Rick Cobbs: Escobar has been ELIMINATED!
Bloodbath: and then there were 3! Wait a minute, over on the other side, outside the ring Lard Ass is pulling a table a bit away from the apron, and now climbs right back up on the apron. Killer Kid walking towards Lard Ass who's standing on the apron, and he takes a swing at Lard Ass, but Lard Ass ducks, and plants his shoulder into Killer Kid's stomach... Lard Ass now grabs Killer Kid, and... SUPLEX OVER THE TOP THROUGH A TABLE!
Rick Cobbs: Killer Kid has been ELIMINATED!
Marcus: We're down to just two! Jaguar is already back in the ring, as Lard Ass slowly gets up, and slides back into the ring as well. Jaguar runs at Lard Ass, and clotheslines him... but Lard Ass doesn't go down! Jaguar runs at Lard Ass again... Lard Ass catches him in a bearhug! Lard Ass squeezing Jaguar, and... BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!
Bloodbath: Jaguar hits the mat hard, and now Lard Ass stands overtop of him, and... VELVETY CHEEK DROP SQUAT... NO! Jaguar gets out of the way, and Lard Ass lands on his ass! Jaguar gets up, and pulls Lard Ass back up to his feet, and now starts laying fists into Lard Ass's face! Lard Ass staggers back to the ropes, and Jaguar takes a run at Lard Ass... and clotheslines him over the top rope!
Marcus: Lard Ass lands on the apron, and Jaguar climbs out, and kicks Lard Ass in the stomach... that doesn't do a whole lot... so Jaguar goes a little lower! that has some effect! Jaguar now sets up Lard Ass, and... PILEDRIVER THROUGH THE TABLE! HE WAS ABLE TO LIFT HIM! AND IT'S OVER!
DING DING DING
Rick Cobbs: Lard Ass Chilly Bunns has been ELIMINATED! therefore, the winner of the Midcard Mayhem match... JAGUAR!
Bloodbath: Jaguar was able to get Lard Ass up into a piledriver off the apron through a table, but then again a piledriver doesn't involve that much lifting... anyway, Jaguar is the winner of this one, this could mean big things for his career. Alright, while the busted tables and stuff gets cleared out, we're going to the lockerroom, where the Tag Champs have asked for some time to speak!
*Back in the locker room Chip Collins and MooCow are standing their with their belts, about to be interviewed for their tag team title match later on tonight. MooCow has a bottle of coors light in his hand. The Camera zooms in on them.*
Chip Collins: Later on tonight,..we have a tag team title match!...against a tag team that never has wrestled together before. Lets break it down shall we? First off you have TNT, coming in a 6 foot 2, 269 pounds or so, I guess you could say he has a considerable advantage over both of us. You might have run the Mercanaries out of this fed, but I'll be damned if MooCow didn't kick both of their tall cellulite asses.
MooCow: MOOOOO! The Taaag Team Titles are on the line! MOO!! Here tonight in this Moo'n building! MOOO! Maybe what you don't understand TNT is that dynamite comes in small packages pal, and later on tonight when I explode on you, boy you'll realise that you should never underestimate the power of the cow! Or Big Poppa Moo! MOOOOO!
Chip Collins: Davey Scott, you claim to be one of the greatest wrestlers in this fed, well tonight, you and me will go hold for hold. Suplex for suplex, counter for counter, drop toe hold for drop toe hold, dropkick for dropkick, superplex for superplex. I will prove to you my friend that our one year streak isn't a fluke.
Chip Collins: For one thing, you guys sure don't show us a lot of respect. You go sailing around in the caribbean on your yatch, while we trained for this match. Let me tell you something boys, you think that you'll form a good tag team tonight? And work well with each other? Not agaisnt the NFS you wont.
MooCow: These boys be loco man, they think that the whole Moo'n show, Big Poppa Moo is going to walk out of this UEW arena tonight without our tag team titles safley around our waists.
Chip Collins: You know, if you look at it even closer. They seem a little too over confident. Like we are nothing more than jobbers holding the tag team titles. Jobbers dont win 30 consecutive matches. Jobbers don't beat every tag team thrown in front of them. Jobbers don't issue open challenges that go unanswered. That my friends are the sign of the excellent, signs of the elite. Signs of a great Tag team.
MooCow: Boys, be prepared for a fight, you've got a pissed off drunk mexican, and a hotshot wreslter, both of which are champions, coming after you tonight. Weither its the Tornado DDT, or the Lights out superkick. We will be the champions after tonight, and damnit SOME ONE GET ME A DRINK!!!!
Chip Collins: You have one in your hand....Listen up Technix. Riding around in Limo's, flying around in lear jets, sail around in yatchs. Talk all the trash you want, but when push comes to shove, the only one who can live the life of a Superstar and still win matches is myself. You didn't see us relaxing, you saw us training hard. Lights Out will come faster than you think. It my friends is truely explosive.
Marcus: Chip Collins and Super Lucha MooCow, they'll be defending later tonight, but right now, we got other business to attend to, and that is inviting a guest out here right now.
*Rick Cobbs has his suit jacket open slightly to reveal that he's wearing an AC shirt underneath*
Rick Cobbs: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome, the man who still considers himself the Universal Heavyweight Champion... AC!
*Do the Evolution by Pearl Jam plays as AC limps out wearing the Universal Heavyweight Championship belt around his waist, as the crowd goes insane. He slaps hands with the fans walking slowly towards the announce table, then grabs a headset and puts it on as he sits down.*
Marcus: Welcome AC...
AC: Yeah Yeah Yeah... Lets just get this thing going. Bloodbath, don't you got somewhere to go?
Bloodbath: Yeah, as a matter of fact I do.
Rick Cobbs: This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a first round match in the UEW Universal Heavyweight Title Mini-Tournament! Coming to the ring first, from London Ontario Canada, weighing 260lbs... The UEW COMMISSIONER... BLOODBATH!
*the lights go red, and Blood by KMFDM plays, as Bloodbath takes his headset off, and the crowd cheers as he climbs up the steps into the ring. He grabs the mic from Rick Cobbs, as the lights come back up.*
Bloodbath: Yeah, that was sorta ok, but I'm sure I can do better... Introducing first, From London Ontario Canada... weighing 260lbs... 3 time NWF World Heavyweight Champion... once the NWF Intercontinental Champion... once the HCW Extreme Heavyweight Champion... NWF Wrestler of the Year 1997... Recipient of NWF Best match of the year 1997... The biggest legend of the indy circut... former NEW Heavyweight Champ, and soon to be the UEW Universal Heavyweight Champion... AND the UEW Commissioner... BLOODBATH!
*Bloodbath throws the Mic back to Rick Cobbs*
Rick Cobbs: And his opponent... From Philadelphia Pennsylvania, weighing in at 235 and 1/2 lbs... JUSTIN SANE!
*Blitzkreig Pop by the Ramones plays as Justin Sane walks out holding his cane, with Crystal Clear by his side as always. Justin Sane gets half way down the ramp, and sends Crystal Clear to the back. The crowd cheers as he raises the cane over his head, then continues walking to the ring. He climbs through the ropes, and Bloodbath immediatly attacks him.*
Marcus: Alright, Bloodbath not wasting any time here, and man is this weird, it's been almost 2 years since I've called a Bloodbath Singles Match! Bloodbath hammering Justin Sane with clubbing forearm shots to the back. He pulls Justin Sane all the way in, and now sends him to the ropes... Justin Sane comes back, and Bloodbath nails him with a dropkick, sending Justin Sane to the mat!
AC: What? Oh, shit, this match start? I fell asleep during that intro by Bloodbath. what an ego that guy has. Justin Sane gets back to his feet, and Bloodbath runs at him and nails him with a clothesline, and Justin Sane goes down hard.
Marcus: Do you think that Justin Sane might be overwhelmed here going into a match with a legend in the sport?
AC: Do you think you can actually announce that well with your lips wrapped around Bloodbath's left ass cheek?
Marcus: Uh... Point taken. Justin Sane back to his feet again, as Bloodbath grabs him by the arm, and whips him to the turnbuckle! Justin Sane hits back first, and staggers forward... Bloodbath nails him with a standing sidekick! Justin Sane goes down hard again!
AC: Bloodbath taking this young man apart so far, and I made fun of you about it a second ago, but maybe you're right... this guy has never faced a guy the caliber of a Bloodbath before, and maybe he just doesn't know how to handle himself in there against the guy.
Marcus: It's quite possible, but Bloodbath now pulls Justin Sane back to his feet, and throws him out of the ring! Bloodbath slides out, as Justin Sane gets back to his feet, and Bloodbath nails him with a hard right hand! Justin Sane reels backwards, and Bloodbath now goes under the ring!
AC: He's made this his own special trademark here, hiding weird crap under the ring, and I'm sure he's put something really special under there tonight for himself. He comes back out, and... he's pulling out a tray of thumbtacks! He picks it up, and slides it into the ring.
Marcus: Justin Sane grabs his cane from the floor, and slides back into the ring, as Bloodbath climbs back up into the ring. Bloodbath kicks the tray of thumbtacks more into the middle of the ring, and Justin Sane now walks up to him with the cane in his hands... he swings, and nails Bloodbath in the side of the chest with it, but Bloodbath able to hold onto the cane as it hits him! Justin Sane tries to pull it away, but Bloodbath kicks him in the stomach, making him release the cane, and he throws the cane away.
AC: Excellent idea by Blood, getting rid of Justin Sane's favorite weapon so he can't do any real damage.
Marcus: Definatly. Bloodbath now goes for a clothesline, but Justin Sane blocks it, they turn around, and Justin Sane nails him with a clothesline of his own! Bloodbath goes down, but quickly pops back up to his feet, and runs at Justin Sane... Justin Sane does a drop toe hold, and Bloodbath lands face-first into the thumbtacks!
AC: Bloodbath's probably thinking that it was a bad idea to bring those things in there now! Justin Sane pulls him out of there, and now whips him to the turnbuckle... Bloodbath hits hard back first, and staggers out... Justin Sane grabs him, and... SNAP SUPLEX INTO THE THUMBTACKS AGAIN! Excellent!
Marcus: Bloodbath now with thumbtacks in his back and in his face! blood is coming out of all the holes those thumbtacks made! Bloodbath shoves the thumbtack tray out of the ring, probably to make sure it doesn't cause him anymore harm, and Justin Sane now pulls Bloodbath back up, and scoop slams him down. He climbs to the top rope, looks back, and jumps... Moonsault... NO! Bloodbath rolls out of the way!
AC: Bloodbath showing his there, I know all about it. Justin Sane back to his feet, and so is Bloodbath, Justin Sane runs at Bloodbath, and goes for a cross body block... no! Bloodbath catches him in mid air, and walks near a corner... and nails him with a Back Breaker!
Marcus: Bloodbath now climbing to the top, and he looks backwards, and... MOONSAULT! and he stays on for the cover!
REF: 1......2.
AC: Justin Sane kicks out! and both men now trying their ariel styles, both these men wrestle extremely similar, using Hardcore style, Power moves, and high flying style, it's like watching a young Bloodbath vs Bloodbath now! Bloodbath now pulls Justin Sane to his feet, and now runs to the ropes... he comes back, and Justin Sane puts his head down, and... Back Body Drop! and Bloodbath goes over the top rope!
Marcus: Justin Sane was really close to the ropes when that one happened, and now Bloodbath is just slowly getting to his feet, as Justin Sane now runs to the ropes, and... SUICIDE DIVE! Bloodbath hits the back of his head on the steel guard rail!
AC: Excellent move by Justin Sane. Justin Sane now goes under the ring, and he starts searching around... and he pulls out a table! he slides it into the ring, and now goes and grabs his cane again!
Marcus: Bloodbath slowly getting back to his feet, and he rolls back into the ring, holding the back of his head, as Justin Sane slides back in with the cane in his hand. Both men to their feet, and... Justin Sane whacks Bloodbath in the top of his head with the cane! Bloodbath staggers backwards, and falls over!
AC: Bloodbath's starting to bleed more out of those wounds... Justin Sane now goes and sets up the table! Bloodbath slowly gets to his feet, and Justin Sane grabs him by the hair and pulls him up onto the table.
Marcus: Justin Sane now punches Bloodbath a couple times in the face... Bloodbath retaliates with a kick to the stomach... he now picks him up, and... BLOODYDRIVER THROUGH THE TABLE! both men are down, but Justin Sane looks to be knocked out! Bloodbath is going to the finals!
AC: He's gotta pin him first! Bloodbath now rolls over, and covers him!
REF: 1......2.....
Marcus: NO! Justin Sane gets his foot on the bottom rope! Bloodbath stands up with his hands in the air, he thinks he's won this! the ref telling him that his foot was on the rope, and Bloodbath is arguing saying he won this one! Justin Sane slowly gets to his feet, and Bloodbath turns around... Justin Sane scoops him up in a fireman's carry, and... THAT'S INSANE! HE HIT IT! Justin Sane crawls over and makes a cover!
REF: 1......2......3
DING DING DING
Rick Cobbs: Here is your winner... JUSTIN SANE!
Marcus: Bloodbath looses! I don't believe it!
AC: I do! great stuff! Justin Sane will face the winner of the next match, as Justin Sane slowly rolls out of the ring, and walks to the back to one hell of an ovation! Bloodbath slowly gets to his feet, and draps himself over the top rope, looking extremely pissed off as Justin Sane walks to the back.
Marcus: Bloodbath is now climbing out of the ring, and walking to the back, I'm guessing he's probably going to have a shower before he comes back here.
AC: Good... I really don't wanna sit next to him if I don't have to... especially if he's sweating like Rick up there. Ok, so what's next? the other first round match?